Friendship ends with Love, Love may not always end with Friendship
June 2, 2008 9:25am CST
It's been more or less 3 years now, since I broke up with my girlfriend. Sure it was hard getting over her. She was very special, in other terms, close to perfect. It's how other people also describe her. People like her are hard to find. I loved her so much. We had good times and bad times, everything that couples usually share. But now, we do not have at least one bit of communication. I wonder if that word still exists in our dictionary. What happened? I don't really know. It's funny how friendship could end up with love. Friendship draws out the true entity of an individual. In the process, we get to know our friends, learn of their strengths and weaknesses, and spend the happiest and loneliest moments in life with them. With this, it is not impossible to fall in love with a friend. A good and intimate friendship often ends up with love. On the other hand, love doesn't always end up with friendship. Why is it so hard to be friends with someone whom you had shared your love with? Is it because of bitterness, guilt, the fact that both of you haven't moved on, or worst is that you have fallen into the endless pit of oblivion that you have been erased from her memory, from her world. I am over her, but right now, what's really hurting me is that she acts like as if she doesn't know me. Not even a single reply or anything. I want to start a new friendship with her, it's actually something we've agreed upon when we still had "it". I've been forgotten probably. And being forgotten is one of the things that really make me unhappy. So I guess, I've learned a lesson here... Never to forget people you've loved and always make them feel loved no matter what. Whatever happened in the past, is something we could never take back, instead focus on the present and on the future.
2 people like this
2 Jun 08
I would always want long term relationship, maybe that's the reason why I shared a lot with my X boyfriend and so we both wants to be friends. We've been together for 5 and half years and gone through lot of things. For my friends, I don't think It ends up with a relationship since I kind of not like it. Friends will remain friends not lovers or anything. Now I'm happy with my life together with my boyfriend we're about 2 and half years now. I agree of moving on, forget the past and focus on the present and think of the future to come.
2 Jun 08
Well, I'm not actually imposing that it always ends that way. My title says so though haha. People have different points of views, I know a lot of people that think like you, and I also know a lot of friends that ended up as lovers. I guess people don't like it when friends end up with a love relationship because it may end up with the value of friendship being destroyed. Thanks for the response. I really appreciate it.
14 Jul 08
I can feel the sorrow and bitterness you feel, as I felt the same. In my case, I had some best friends (girls) that were in great friendship with me, and it ended with destruction. The first girl was a "flower of my college" that was so close to me because we've got many matching things, such as thoughts, hobby, etc. We ended with love, of course, but had to be separated because she actually had a boyfriend already. It was okay with me, but she didn't want to contact or know me anymore (exactly like what you feel). It was hard to pass the day without her calling me, without her accompanying me around college, without her crying upon my shoulder whenever she got problems. Second, was a girl that eventually became my girlfriend. But, because her family could not accept my condition (I am a blind person) we broke up, but never again we became friend. She never tried to contact me anymore. "Why," I wonder, as if she didn't want to be related to me anymore. So, in this case, we should be careful with love as if we bring it to the wrong side, we will lose a valuable thing in our life; FRIEND...
14 Jul 08
I think first of all its very well thought discussion you have mentioned. its true that many good friendships turns to love. With friendship, the process of knowing each other starts. also its the case where you can measure your level of comfort with a person whom you can say 'FRIEND'. May be that love actually is not forever. For any reason you breakup. so its due to that guilt, bitterness you can't be friend with that person again.its irony of life.
14 Jul 08
Damn. I just love the dramz you put out here on myLot because I can relate. Hahah. I am very good friends with my ex right now and I never even thought this would happen to someone I hated so much because of the breakup 3 years ago. It was a very bad breakup because he was sort of like my first love. He moved on fairly quickly and months after the breakup he would still send me emails telling me he still wanted to be friends with me. I was bitter so I just ignored all of them and I was quite disillusioned that it was his attempt to get me back. But of course it wasn't. We didn't talk for a year after I ignored him but I nonetheless I was still crazy about him so it sucked. No new boyfriend for me that time because I couldn't move on. Early 2007 when I finally had enough of my own misery, I chose to let it go and realized at the time we weren't really that compatible. By some lucky coincidence, I found someone new a month before my ex's birthday. I realized his intention to be friends with me isn't all that bad so I messaged him a week before his birthday. I realized by then when we started to keep in touch through Facebook again that I was no longer bitter towards what happened in the past. We even get to share about our ups and downs with our current relationships. It isn't such a bad thing to be friends with the ex after all, that's what I realized. But of course that depends on how bad the breakup was or something.
16 Jul 08
Hehe! Guess we have something in common. I am happy to hear that despite what happened, you are good friends. I am quite sad about the fact that I couldn't have that kind of friendship, it's hard when only one person wants it and it doesn't go that way for the other. I am really pleased with your response, thanks for taking time to share your story. Thank you!
14 Jul 08
I agree in all the things that you've said.. I know it hurts a lot but I think just give her what she wants.. Maybe, if you were friends then she will find difficulty to move on so maybe it is better not to talk to you and being friends with you... I don't know maybe that is the way she is thinking now... I am not sure.. Just continue your life the way she's doing..