Mom...Dad...Guess What...

I guess it would depend on the age. I would have to help if my daughter were younger than say 15. Young girls really dont understand the amount of work involved in taking care of a baby. It would still however be her responsibility. My oldest daughter got pregnant right after high school. She had moved out with her boyfriend and we tried to tell her she could get pregnant. She insisted that was not the case. Yeah right. Then she insisted she was not pregnant when we all knew she was. Then his family insisted they get married and of course that did not last. I think she learned a hard lesson.

I cant really say much if my 2 girls end up pregnant. I got pregnant at 17 and had my oldest 2 months before I turned 18. If my girls ever got pregnant at a young age I would stick by her side every step of the way. I do NOT believe in abortions what so ever! That baby never asked to be born. (no bashing, just my opinion like everyone else has one). She would be the one rasing that child. If she was under the age of 15 I would tell her she better start finding a way to start making some kind of money because I'll only support X amount. I wouldnt kick her out until she found a place of her own. But I just wont think that far ahead! My girls are only 3 and 4.

I have a 12 year old daughter. I would be dumbfounded if she came home pregnant. I have talked to her about certain things and she took her first semester of "family health" this year. We have a great relationship and we talk about everything. When Jamie Lyn Spears from Zoey 101 became pregnant I sat my daughter down and we had a frank talk about it. I explained that her life as a kid was over. My daughter understood and said she would not like that all because she likes being able to go and play when she wants. If she did come home pregnant I would stand by her if I didn't die of a heart attack. I would hold her responsible, though. She would not be running around like a kid. She would be finishing her education and preparing for her and the baby's future along with raising the child. She has a boyfriend, but her idea of a boyfriend is just a boy she eats lunch with everyday. Thank goodness.

i had a cousin were at the age of 18 got pregnant. yeah, she's at the age but she never got to college. it was all because of what they so called LOVE that they made a mistake. they never could knew what would happen if the child will be born and thats how it went. after the child was born, she hasn't turned 1 yet but had 6 times or so admitted to the hospital. as i see, i think they couldn't even make a money for the child's milk. i told them to work, but NO they want to rely on parents and relatives. what if we're not around anymore? would you still be on relying on the other people? i mean, why would they be entering this sacred thing if they know its a very difficult risk. you cant get a good job nowadays if you don't have a degree, unless you've got lots of money to spare with but still not enough. 11 or 12 years old parents? they cant barely handle their lives at that age! they still need to learn more! geez`., but i love that kid though (my niece) im just worried what would her life be if her parents will continue not to think about her.. T_T

I'm currently in this situation. My 18yr. old got pregnent(not by blood but been raising her for the last 9yrs.) We live in Mexico which is ALOT more tolerent about this. Her boyfriend is a total loser and won't take responsiability (not that I care) This totally shocked me she's very smart and I thought she knew better, we, her mom and me, support her 100% and are doing all we can to make sure this goes well! I know we're going to end up raising the baby, and it's ok by me, my problem is I'm 60 and like everyone don't know how long I'll be here to enjoy the baby! Anyhow good post and thanks !!! tdemex

If i had a child that became pregnant at such a young age, i think i would raise the baby for them until they came of an age were they could raise it themselves. I would want my child to finish school and start doing something with there lives before they have the responsibility of a child themselves. I could not force abortion or adoption on them. And if they wanted to give it up for adoption i would be the main person wanting to adopt the baby. I would also want them to try and help raise the child so they will know better next time and be safer. I would not insist they get married because i just don't think at such a young age marriage is the right choice. What if there not ready and there partner is not the right person for them? I would be upset with the pregnancy but i would not brush it off. A baby is nothing to be brushed off.

A really touchy subject. I do not believe in abortion, so this would not even be an option. I would not force my child to marry either, in fact I would not recommend it. At that young age there is no way the children could cope with the trials and tribulations of marriage and having a child. I would talk to the boys parents and hope they would be involved as well as the young man in the raising and care of the baby. It's hard enough for a girl to care for a baby. She needs all the help she can get. The baby deserves to have both sets of grandparents ooohing and aaahing over it, also the presents of it's father. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. This is an old saying that says basically you can tell them what to do or what not to do but they still need to or will learn from their own mistakes and things they do. Therefore just being there to help in ways that's needed and pushing her to finish school and learn a trade so she will be able to financially care for herself and the baby without help from anyone. Letting your daughter know that what she did was wrong and harping on her is not what she needs right now. She already knows she did wrong. Now help her overcome the obsticles she and the baby will face. Adoption is great their are people out there that can not have children and would love to have a new born. I would not force this issue either. As you can see I would help. I no longer have young ones myself. But I have grandchildren. I talk to them about these things. I make sure in a family loving way that they watch movies depicking these type of things. We discuss them and I let them know what they need to do or not do in certain cases. If they slip up, I will be there for them.

I am not a parent so this is a guess. If my daughter came home pregnant, I would sit her down and ask her what she wants to do.I would be supportive of her decision.She has to live with the decision so she has to decide. It would be tragic if she really wanted the baby but had to abort. Or she never wanted the baby and was forced to keep it.So the final decision is hers.

I have to admit, when my 19 yr old told me that his 20 yr old girlfriend who he was living with was pregnant, I was very disappointed. It took me a long time to get over the shock,but all along I supported them. I figured that either I support them or I push them away from me and I didn't want that. Unfortunately, this pregnance ended in a miscarriage and ends up we were all very sad. I would freak out if my 14 yr old told me his girlfriend was pregnant! I think that schools are making it easier for teens to have babies. They had the great programs so the moms can stay in school. What they don't have is any shame at being so young and getting pregnant. I remember a girl I went to school with left the school in 12th grade and didnt graduate with us because she was pregnant. Times have sure changed.

Abortion would definately be out, and I don't see how I could give up my own grandchild, but yes she would take care of the majority of the child's raising. I know parents who have taken on the responsibility of raising their grandchild/ren, and that is the problem, unless the girl/boy is made responsible, in most cases they go right back and do it again. Well I can go have my fun, pop out a child and no need to worry, Mom and Dad will handle the rest. It's not until they start missing parties, dates, proms that they learn that this is not play time. I also don't believe in maternity leave from school, hey give them a week off then back to the books. We have created a new generation of children who in a lot of cases have no morals, think the world owes them a favor, just because they were born, and have no respect for anyone, parents, teachers, even the police. This has to stop somewhere, if not God help our world.

I'd like to think that my girls will be smarter than that. It does come down to how well we educate them in this area, something a lot of parents fail to do. Our girls will be informed as soon as they are of an age where they can treat the subject with the respect it deserves. If they still ended up facing teen motherhood, then I'd support them. I'd make it pretty clear though that they have to be the mother, not just a face that is there when they like. If they wanted to stay in school, then they could either pay me to look after the child or put them into a proper daycare service. I would not be allowing them to go out partying everynight, or weekend, and would make it clear to them that if they started doing that, then I would have no choice but to involve the welfare services. Naturally, I'd be upset if my baby was going to have a baby. I think that we need to find ourselves and learn to care about and for ourselves before we can care about and look after anyone else.

I was pregnant at 17 and a mum at 18, a single Mum at that. I may have loved my baby (who is now 16) but it was the worst thing I ever did because I did nothing but struggle. My parents were believers of you made your bed now lie in it. I did and it was hard. I now have a daughter, she is only 2 now but I will talk to her about everything and try and have a close relationship with her that I never had with my Mum. Hopefully she will grow up knowing that it is the hardest thing to do by having a baby so young. If it happens that she does end up pregnant at a young age then she will have my support 100% I will never be with her how mine were with me. OK I would not deny that I would be extremely upset but she will have my support. Again I would not do what my parents did with me, and although I would not take care of the baby all the time, I would help out wherever I could. I will do it with my boys too, I will never turn my back, and I certainly would not tell them they had to get married or give it up.

Hi twoey if I had a daughter of twelve who came up pregnant I would stick by her and help her but she would have to be 'the mom so she would learn how to mother her own child. I would never kick out my child no matter what nor advise abortion either no she would raise that baby with my helpbut she would also do the mothering bit herself.

Actually, I can relate very well to this discussion. My first wife and I divorced when our only child (a girl) was merely a year or so old. So she raised our child under less than optimal conditions, moving from one guys house to another over the years. I won't go into details, but she managed to keep me out of the picture rather effectively, as I fought until I ran out of money. Sorry about getting sidetracked, but I didn't want someone to get wrong ideas. At the age of 14 our daughter becomes pregnant. Many of the choices you listed were not an option that was open to me. To make a long story short, she kept the baby and decided to raise him herself with guidance and help from both sides of the family. That was four years ago, as my daughter is now almost 19, she still has the baby (Kyle) whom she loves very much. So, to sum up, I think that most parents if they love their children will do most anything that they need to for their child and grandchild.

In my opinion, there is no way a 12 yr old or younger could raise a child, therefore I would have to do it, along with my hubby. Teens can't raise babies, when out of high school, maybe. I've worked with some very young moms, they are babies themselves. I hope my daughters don't become pregnant young, but if they did I would never kick them out. I would never force adoption or abortion on them, I don't believe in abortion. My oldest can't have kids she has hlhs, and I'm not sure she would understand the consequences of having a child. It's scary to even think about right now, although I do know it's out there right in our faces.

I sure in the heck wouldnt raise it for her. Dumb enough to get that way she could pay by raising it

If my daughter came up pregnant when she got to that age (right now she is only 4) I would pretty much be like you. Childhood would be over. I would make her finish school, and she wouldn't be able to join any after school activities. I would make her get a job as well after school, so she could financially support the baby, at least partially. I would babysit, but only for important things like school, work, and welfare appointments. I would let her know that I was in her corner, and there to help, but I would also let her know that this was her child, not mine, and she would be the one to take care of it.

Well, first I have to say that I got pregnant at 15. My parents forced us to get married two weeks later. I got no help what so ever from my husband or my parents. My husband left when the baby was 5. We had another one that was 3 when he left. I ended up raising them on my own with no husband and no family. I totally lost my childhood. If I had it all to do over again.....I would do it exactly the same way! Yes, I starved to feed my children, yadda, yadda, yadda, but what great adults they are today!

Teen pregnancy happens. In cases where the teen is young, say sixteen years old and younger, then I believe the blame lies a lot on the parents for not sufficiently monitoring their children and placing rules and boundaries in effect and preventing the oppurtunity. Older teens is a different story, because they have more freedom. Like me, I got pregnant a month after I turned eighteen. But an eighteen eyar old getting pregnant is WAY different than a 15 year old gettinmg pregnant. I can't imagine it at 15. It's hard now. It's be pure utter hell at 15.

My youngest daughter asked me this very question several years ago when my oldest grand daughter (3 years younger than my youngest daughter)got pregnant. I told her I would always love her, I would love the baby, I wouldn't disown her, I wouldn't kick her out, I would do everything I could to help out so she could finish school, but I would not get up for the 2 am feedings and I would not walk the floor with a colicky baby. If she had a baby it would be HERS and she would bear responsibility for it no matter how hard it was on her. Of course I would be there to lend a little advise if she was totally at sea, but that wouldn't be my baby. I'd already raised 5. I think it was enough to know that I would always love her. She's 31, just got married and will probably be a terrific mother when she has children. I think too many parents just really can't imagine their children being "human" enough at an early age to risk pregnancy and simply don't talk to them calmly and rationally.