feeling unsafe in marriage
By leealice67
@leealice67 (221)
China
June 4, 2008 12:24am CST
I have been with my husband for five years and we got married about a month ago. We love each other and we are satisfied with each other. We didn't think of going out with others since we first met. And I am sure we will be loyal to the other for at least a long time. Actually I haven't seen any sign of disloyalty and I hope there will never be any.
But even if we have a very stable relationship, I always feel unsafe. I have heard so many those stories and many of our friends have had such kind of story. I don't like divorce at all and I am sure no one ever expect that. Due to this unsafe feeling, I use my husband's money and save mine (My money is only for big stuff, but there are not so many big stuff). I know this sounds selfish but I just can't help doing so. My husband is happy that I use his money. But I am sure he will not happy about my reason for using his money and saving mine. Can anyone help me? Or do you agree with me to do so without ever telling the reason to my husband?
3 responses
@ayessa (1583)
• Philippines
4 Jun 08
I think you are just being affected by the people in your sorroundings. You have been together for years so I think you have build your trust to your husband cause if not you will not agree on a marriage. Feeling unsafe in a relationship is not a good thing. it may be the cause of some future problems. So I suggest that if you really trust and love your husband better throw your insecurities and any negative thoughts. You are beeing unjust to your husband by just thinking and preparing for the future that you're afraid to happen. It will also help if you will talk to your husband about your fear in that way he may assure you. Leealice, just always remember that you are your own individual not all the things happens with maria will happen to ana and so does to you. You are the one who make your life not the people around you. Goodluck!
@leealice67 (221)
• China
5 Jun 08
Thank you for your encouragement. Yes, that's unjust to my husband by just preparing for the future. I know it very well. And this is why I posted this discussion, hoping to find a way out. According to your and other you-type kind-hearted people's suggestion, the best way is to forget it and keep trusting him. This suggestion will be very helpful to me and I will try my best to manage it. Thank you again.
@leealice67 (221)
• China
5 Jun 08
Yes, your are right. Sometimes I ask myself: I have trusted him for so many years, why can't I continue doing so? I assure myself that I can. But... Emm, I'd better do as you suggested: just forget it and don't think that much. Thank you for your suggestion. I'd better have a try.
@leealice67 (221)
• China
5 Jun 08
Yes, you are right. I trust him but maybe it just because I don't believe myself. It's just I am afraid that I will not be attractive to him for the time left for us. Sounds very funny, right! Oh, just forget it. Hope you will find you true love and be free of my worry. Thank you for you reply.
