threesome -- to do or not to do?

@ceej310 (121)
Philippines
June 7, 2008 11:22pm CST
my boyfriend has been asking if we can have a threesome. i must admit that it has always been a fantasy. its just that i could never imagine having the man i love doing another girl in front of me! i always envisioned to do such an act with strangers or people i was never really that close to but i know i can trust. my BF says that this would also be his first experience with a girlfriend and he wants to prove that even if there's another one around, its still me at the end of it all, would you be ok with that? i love him very much, its just that i couldn't imagine him even kissing another woman. but it would also be such a great experience since also, he's the best i've ever had... what would you do?
7 people like this
41 responses
@trickiwoo (2702)
• United States
8 Jun 08
Honestly, I wouldn't do it. It has always been a fantasy of mine to have a threesome too, but I could never go through with it with someone I was in a serious relationship with. Too much is at stake. If you get jealous just at the idea of your boyfriend with another girl, it will be so much worse actually witnessing it. You don't know what it will be like. You might start over analyzing everything. Maybe he does things differently with her than he does with you. You might start to wonder if he's more attracted to her than to you. That sort of stuff happens very often with threesomes. What it all comes down to is which is more important to you: fulfilling this fantasy or your relationship with your boyfriend?
@ceej310 (121)
• Philippines
8 Jun 08
yeah... my relationship mean so much more to me.. what's a night compared to the chance of spending our lives together, right?
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Jun 08
hehehe nice topic...honestly ive been been four guys on one night....all in one...as in....and you know it is really nasty. half of me says to stop and the other would have to go on...but at the end still pleasure just ended at the snap of a finger...me with a 4 men...hehheh hell of an experience. but the great thiong about that gurl is that there is no commitment so it is different because it is your BF and if i am at your part just explore things out knowing that you still have each other and the respect is still there...it is still up to YOU gurl...
1 person likes this
@ceej310 (121)
• Philippines
9 Jun 08
wild!!! thanks clandestinef! again, my BF and i are madly in love. he does say that if im totally uncomfortable with it, he'd back off and never mention the idea. as i said in an earlier comment, i am bi-curious... so he sees that in my eyes. he actually considered having his really close lesbian friend join us. and this girl doesn't do guys at all. and he knows that she's attracted to me. he mentioned that to me last night saying, "see, i don't have to do her, but i know you'll enjoy it. i get turned on when you're turned on." so i'm still 50/50 on the whole scenario.
• Australia
8 Jun 08
dont do it... think of what will happen if u ever break up with ur boyfriend. he'll call u a sl*t and embarass u in front of everyone... or even worse that lady he is doing in front of u may do that!!
1 person likes this
@ceej310 (121)
• Philippines
8 Jun 08
wow... that was straight to the point, and i really appreciate it. thanks so much. will really give this much thought!:)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Jun 08
good day. It's natural to have wild fantasies I think, I for one have one, like a videotape of us just for proprietary reason and something to look back to when we're older but unfortunately she wouldn't want to, I respected that or making love in dangerous places like a night on the beach and such but my wild fantasies would only involve her and no one else. I can't imagine doing it with her and some other or with some one else entirely. I just want it with her. that's that. Whatever you feel about those things he should respect that.
1 person likes this
@Antianara (608)
• Australia
8 Jun 08
I've never known a threesome to work out well.
@foxyfire33 (10007)
• United States
8 Jun 08
You could always start out slowly and have it more of a thing between the two of you with the other woman just providing a little extra for you. If having him 'do' another girl in front of you makes you uncomfortable then I think you probably aren't quite ready for that step. The most important thing right now is communication! Talk to your boyfriend hinestly about your feeling. And when you're through with that, talk some more. That is they key to making any thing like this work!
@ceej310 (121)
• Philippines
8 Jun 08
well, this could also be a step up for me... ive been the insecure one from time to time. my boyfriend does keep reassuring me and keeps telling me that he just wants to prove that even if there is another woman there, its still me in the beginning and end of it all... and in all honesty, even when we just talk about it, we get hot for each even more...
@foxyfire33 (10007)
• United States
8 Jun 08
It doesn't generally work that way. If you are insecure to start with, being forced to be comfortable with him and another is not going to magically make you feel secure. He has a twisted way of wanting to prove his feelings for you...you should already know it is you and only you. Having you watch him with another woman is only proving that he's more concerned with his desires than your feelings. Getting all hot and bothered while discussing it doesn't prove anything either. It is a turn on to think about something outside of your normal activities...but thinking and doing are two entirely different things. I have no problem with healthy threesomes but the situation you are describing does not sound healthy at all, sorry.
1 person likes this
@ag6390 (65)
9 Jun 08
to be honest a fantasy should stay as a fantasy! (they are always better the way you imagine them) and if you have doubts then dont do it, it could cause problems for your relationship, just ask him one thing.... would he have a threesome with you and another man...? if not! dont do it, cus unless hes willing to show you that it isnt all about him then it isnt fair.... plus then hed realise how you was feeling :) hope things get sorted xx
@ceej310 (121)
• Philippines
10 Jun 08
I've been leaning towards your statement, "A fantasy should stay as a fantasy". and my heart doesn't skip a beat when i hear the word "threesome"... hmmmm.... we'll see how this goes, so far, i'm good at this state.
• United States
9 Jun 08
I had this same problem just a couple of months ago! I did it and it was AMAZING!! I would totally do it.
@ceej310 (121)
• Philippines
9 Jun 08
seriously? an you guys are still together now?
@soulist (2985)
• United States
23 Jul 08
I could never have a threesome. In my opinion even if I was there and he were with another woman I would consider that cheating. I may be harsh on that, but I don't want to share my man with anyone. I would tell him no, but my b/f doesn't ask for threesomes or anything like that. A man i dated before has and I flat out told him no.
• United States
23 Jul 08
Wow!! Well I can say that my husband has fulfilled my fantasy of a MMF and I have fulfuilled his of a FFM. We both grew closer together because we shared the experience together. Now the swinging lifestyle is not for everyone, but before you do fulfill the fantasy make sure you both are on the same page and have talked about your fears and concerns before doing it. It can be a very memorable experience for all involved if done with taste and integrity and respect. :)
@msedge (4012)
• United States
1 Jul 08
The decision will depend between you and your boyfriend.But if you feel you don't like it then don't do it.I have nothing against what other people wanted because that would make them happy but for myself i will never do that threesome thing.You can have fun with your boyfriend together why need another one?If you love each other then you will just be contented and satisfied with one another.I know some are doing this for fun but as a woman i can't imagine playing with someone i didn't love and i can sense that to you also.
@YoungInLove (1254)
• Canada
1 Jul 08
I just couldnt watch the man I love mess around with a girl infront of me, so threesomes are a no for me. If that doesnt bug you that much then I guess you can go for it.
1 Jul 08
When your talking about a threesome why does it ahve to be another female involved?? Why not another male?? Me personally I would not agree to a threesome. I wouldnt feel comfortable being with someone else plus my partner. I think if you were to go ahead with the threesome, then set rules that you both agree to and stick with what you feel comfortable with!!
• United States
1 Jul 08
Just the thought of a threesome makes me sick. No thanks not for me! I like one on one I don't need any extra bodies in bed!
@schummi (925)
• India
12 Jun 08
well...what you are thinking is that you have to choose between a fantasy and a reality....now its upto you .....listen dear.....there are many things which we fantasise and these things look good only on screen not in real life....if you cant imagine him kissing someone else...then what the f$ckyou can stand that whole experience....
@SwtJenlove (1090)
• United States
10 Jun 08
I wouldnt say yes and i wouldnt say no. Its up to you and your boyfriend. If you two think your relationship is strong enough to do it then do it. if you dont think your relationship is strong enough for that then dont do it. This could be a test to see how strong the two of you two are. its all up to you two. I wouldnt go with a complete stranger tho because thats a lil to dangerous these days.
@gwoman2 (711)
• United States
10 Jun 08
Hey Ceej310, :-( I really don't think this "discussion" is appropiate!! Who cares what people do in their "private" lives? I sure don't...And why would you want to do this? There are young peeps on this site, do they really need to learn about "threesomes" from MyLot? Thumbs down to your posting!! ~G~
• Atlantic City, New Jersey
10 Jun 08
Do it ONLY if you are comfortable with all parties involved. I have done it a few times- and have had different outcomes to each. I have gained and lost friends- and boyfriends over it and don't recommend it unless your AREN't in a serious relationship and both of you are just in it to have a little fun. When your in a serious relationship- you never know what may bother you about the situation and when those issues may arise within you. Think hard about the aftermath. Will you be able to trust him? Will you look at him the same again? Will you look at her the same (assuming she was someone you knew) again. Are you able to handle watching your man do unto others- as he has done unto you?
• Philippines
9 Jun 08
your boyfriend do really loves you?
• India
9 Jun 08
As I think this world has space for everything,but sth is gud sth is bad,sth we can accept sth we can't.Normal physical relationship as I think can only be done between 2.Abt this ambiguity I would like u to suggest that have a talk with ur partner seriously and try make him understand even if its not possible then u do whtever u think for ur relationship.