AAAARRRRGGGGG I am so angry!!!!
By sweetdesign
@sweetdesign (5142)
United States
June 8, 2008 1:13pm CST
Ok so here is a little background My ex husband quit his job and moved to a neighboring state (he lived in AR and I live in FL) in December of 2006. I fought with AR child support enforcement (or lack there of) and Fl child support enforcement for over a year and finally fighting with MO child support enforcement for 6 months and finally started to recieve support payments again in April 2008. Our daughter turns 18 in july and will be emancipated from current support order but he owes in arrears to the tune of $25,000.00+ cause of all the accumulated years of not paying anything at all and other years of AR screwing up the payment records (they would treat over half the support they collected as arrears not taking anymore than what the original order decreed so he was never paying his current and his arrears kept building). He will owe this amount till he pays it off as there is no statue of limitation on child support owed. I think he has quit his job again. They have not collected anything in two weeks (he was getting paid weekly so I got a check every week). He also owes on a medical bill that my daughter had while she was with him in MO in April. The hospital wouldn't accept her medicaid cause it was out of state (crazy)so I told the hospital collections staff (yes it has already gone to collections in less than a month of it occuring) to go after him for the bill cause he is responsible for all medical on her that medicaid does not cover. Well I think he figures if FL and MO are garnishing him for support and the hospital for the bill then he might as well quit working as he won't have much of a check after that. I think he is a lazy you know what. I am so angry. So now on Monday I start the whole process again to find someone who will do something. It is ridiculous. Why can't he just pay his support and be a man about it? Thanks for letting me vent.
5 people like this
10 responses
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
8 Jun 08
My ex husband is the same way, he makes almost $60K a year and cries poor. I have the paper work in with the state, but they haven't done anything yet. Oh, did I mention he pays only $300 of his support every month, there hasn't been an increase in 3 years AND he just bought a $1,000 camera.....yeah he is poor, right....now he is talking about cutting back seeing my son to once a month because of gas costs....
2 people like this
@sweetdesign (5142)
• United States
8 Jun 08
That is just sickening. I am given $300 a month when they can get it and I guarentee my ex makes less than yours. I figure my ex makes around $1200-$1500 a month when he works.
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
8 Jun 08
I know what you actually get per state is really different too. Here you can add in all kinds of stuff so, for example, on top of support he is suppose to pay a portion of daycare, medical, etc. which the state says that they can collect as well.
1 person likes this
@sweetdesign (5142)
• United States
8 Jun 08
Well my ex was supposed to provide insurance and pay all medical bills but it never happened and our daughter had to be on my insuance for 2 years cause the state wouldn't let her on medicaid till they exhausted every means of getting her father to get insurance on her. It cost me over $350 a month for insurance premiums for 2 years during which time I was not recieving child support either.
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
8 Jun 08
My exhusband was the same way and I had a hard time with Maryland Support Enforcement because he worked for his brother who totally ignored the first two garnishment orders and then started paying him cash under the table. Their feeling was that my current husband was able to support the kids so why should he bother. Continue to work with Florida Support Enforcement, they seem to be pretty good. If you're able to find out any information about where he's working get that information to them right away. It's so frustrating, I know. I really wish other states would suspend driver's licenses as fast as Florida does, that would have made a big difference in my case. Good luck.
2 people like this
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
9 Jun 08
Well, not every man is like that. I feel sorry for you but just keep fighting for it. However, it sounds like this discussion is pointing to the fact that men don't pay support and I assure you that is not the case. My husband pays his court ordered support every month and never misses a payment. He hasn't seen his son (who is 17) in almost 3 years and yet he pays faithfully. His son says that he wants no part of him in his life and that he doesn't want to come to visit us. He feels that my husband is hard on him as he expects him to get out of the house when he is here and not play games or read all day. My stepson doesn't want to follow the rules that we have for our oldest daughter and so he just won't come around. My husband has never gotten to claim him on taxes, spend much time with him, or anything and yet we suffer because his ex wife doesn't work and we pay her to take care of her son.
I work so that we can have extras and she stays home and collects child support, food stamps,Medicaid,etc.
1 person likes this
@sweetdesign (5142)
• United States
10 Jun 08
Yes it feels better to rant and rave on here. I can't do much of that at home cause I don't want to upset my daughter more than she already is.
We were talking last night and she started ranking the people in her life of course me and her grandmother tied for first then came the two dogs her cousin and friends and her father has dropped in rank to the bottom of the list. It is sad but I am proud of her for finally seeing him for what he is. She knows that his quitting his job and avoiding child support is going to put a serious damper on her birthday celebration which we had already made plans for. Also she knows that the promise her father made her four weeks ago was another empty lie. She is getting hurt by his selfishness but it is not the first time nor will it be the last.
@chezfrugal (84)
• United States
9 Jun 08
What nerve! I am glad that you have not absolved him from his obligation. As I stated in your previous discussion, I too and facing this child support thing and I find I have too many unanswered questions and too little time to let my anger out. I wish you all the best.
1 person likes this
@sweetdesign (5142)
• United States
9 Jun 08
Yeah well he is a piece of work. Hope that your case works out better than mine. Mine has been a 13 year battle that rages on. Of course I am doing all the work cause he doesn't do anything except quit jobs and move.
@Kanesha1028 (154)
• United States
8 Jun 08
These men need to stand up and take care of their responsibilities. I'm 17 years old and my father has never given me anything or even took the effort to see me. These men don't think about how they're hurting their children and society. I would go to child support agencies, such as support the kids and others. I would follow up on it because you didn't make the baby by yourself. If he can't pay he should be locked up
2 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
9 Jun 08
What I have seen, is that Child Support is one of the most mixed up things there is. No one ever really wants to keep track of it, and enforce it to where in reality, most men that owe it, are way behind, and never seem to think anything about making sure it is paid on time, etc. And then to think the Men do not care either, and are always trying to find ways to get out of it, and be responsible as well. Honestly, I wish there was more of a national data base that could keep track of this so as soon as someone got a job, the support would come again, etc. but until there is something like this, things will only continue to be a mess. All I can say, is go for it, and hope eventually you can get what you deserve. Wishing you the best.
@sweetdesign (5142)
• United States
9 Jun 08
Here is an update........He has QUIT his job. I called the FDU (child support in Florida)and they said the only way they would stop collecting is if he quit his job and I should contact his employer to see if he is still working. Well after doing detective work I found the chicken plant in MO where he was working and guess what he no longer works for them surprise surprise. He owes $25,000.00 in back support so even after my daughter is emancipated in July they will still be after him for support. Here is the kicker I used*67 and called his house.....he is sitting on his lazy a** at home!!!
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
9 Jun 08
I know what you mean. My ex never paid either. Thru most of their growing up, he claimed he was not working and so they only ordered him to pay 25.00 per month and still, he did not pay. then he landed in jail and they said he could not earn while in jail so it didn't even build up. Finally when it built up to several thousand the judge ordered him a higher child support....80.00 per week which included 20.00 for arrears. He'd go months and when they'd get him in court, he'd pay just enough to keep from going to jail. They are grown now and by the time he finally paid me off, I was in so much debt from just trying to get by on my own that it didn't even begin to cover it. I had to often use credit cards just to put food on the table etc. I never used them for silly things...always essentials and I did try to keep them down but over time it added up. I think you'll eventually get your money but sadly it isn't when you needed it the most. I have no respect for any parent who does not help in raising their children financially and otherwise. They should be your #1 priority in life but sadly for the kids, that isn't always the case.
1 person likes this
@sweetdesign (5142)
• United States
9 Jun 08
This is so true. I am in debt to my eyeballs. I do not spend frivelously I am on a very tight budget. My daughter has gone without so much of her teen years and that was unfair. We are not talking about going without namebrand clothes and shoes but actually going without new school clothes period having to wear her clothes till they literally fall apart. It is not right when his kids (he is remarried and they have 2 kids together) never go without anything. Since he has not been paying this past year whenever my daughter calls and talks to him he is always bragging about what movie they went to see, or how they bought this or that, or they went to silver dollar city or whatever. My daughter hasn't been to the theater to see a movie in 5 years! It is not fair.
@travibabiesgirl (1690)
• United States
9 Jun 08
I am sorry that you are having such a hard time getting child support from your ex. It is hard enough to get it when you are dealing with one state but you have to deal with your state and all the ones he decides to move to. I don't know why some men have to be such losers when it comes to being a father to their children and helping to support them. I guess though had they been real men taking care of their family they would not be exes. I have one that quits quite often also and then he may or may not come get his children for visits. He won't call and he will miss several visits at a time which tears the children up. He will go out and buy a new big screen television but tell me he don't have the money to come get them or tell them he can't afford to buy them christmas presents. I don't get used to getting the child support because it comes in spurts. When they take it he usually quits his job with in a couple of weeks. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. Any time you need to vent this place is awesome for helping a person to feel better. Do you need the number to MO child support division? They are who I am having to go through and have been getting the job done. Last time he quit paying he refused to give me any info on his new work place and they found him and took out child support with in two months. I have to say your ex sounds like a total loser and probably the worst one I have ever heard about. I hope that things are made right and you get the support you are owed.
1 person likes this
