How much time should Grandparents have with their Grandkids? Help
June 9, 2008 1:19am CST
Hi All, I haven't started a discussion for a while but could really use some help here. My partner & i have a gorgeous 2 year old daughter & will soon have a new baby to add to our family - in about 4 weeks. My problem is that ever since my daughter was born, my mother has expected routine visits - they started weekly where she'd come up here every Wednesday, when that got too much for her, she'd come here 1 Wednesday & expect me to go down to her place the following one etc. When i finally had the guts to tell her weekly was too often & bi-weekly would be better, she tried to make me feel guilty & insisted i was trying to keep her Granddaughter away from her. The bi-weekly visits have been going for a good 18 months or so now & i have really had enough. It's expensive doing a 2 1/2 hour round trip just to keep the peace. With the newbaby coming i'm tired a lot & cant be bothered going down there (we live 1 hour & 15 minutes apart) - especially not every other week. She's happy to come up here but i don't think every other week is necessary. It'll be even more tiring & frustrating when i have the 2 little ones. My Mum doesn't seem to understand that as much as we like seeing her & stuff, every other week is just too much & it's not at all necessary. How do you get someone to hear what you're saying without being made to feel like you're pushing her away just because she isn't getting what SHE wants? Help please, i cant be letting my Mum have routine visits any more just because she wants them? I also don't need to be made to feel guilty if she doesn't have her own way but i know that's what will happen if i don't tell her in just the right way. All thoughts & advise would be GREAT! Thank you all!