i need help how do i get her to understand thats not what i meant
By gurtinphilly
@gurtinphilly (16)
United States
June 9, 2008 5:50pm CST
i really need any help i can get on friday i was talking to my ex wife about when im going to get to see my kids and as always she was being a witch so before she hung up she just had to tell me that the last wensday that past was if we were still together our 10 year anniversary and this made me super mad be cause to me she went out of her way to try and tick me off it seemed so i was at me girlfriends house at the time and she noticed something was bothering me so to make sure i was ok she ask me whats was up shes always doing thing like that to cheer me up i love her so much but any way back to the problem when she asked me what was wrong i told her then i said why did she meaning my ex have to hurt me like that not meaning hurt me like a still have feelings for her meaning that why did she go out of her way to take a cheap shot at me like that when ever since then my girlfriend wont talk to me look at me and when she does she ends up crying and she talking about breaking up how do i get her one to understand what i meant and 2 get her to give me the chance to tell her and show her shes the one i want i HATE my ex and i love her i wanna marrie her not lose her shes everything that is good in my life besides my 2 beautiful children i also love her son to death i really could use any help u my lotters can give i really love my girlfriend and dont want to ever lose her please god somebody help
10 responses
@honeydew82174 (1720)
• United States
10 Jun 08
Of course a cheap shot like that is going to hurt you. Ask your girlfriend to put herself in your place . what would she think then? not that you love your ex. if talking doesnt help and she cant understand it will always be a fight where your ex is concerned
@monishavakil (1019)
• India
10 Jun 08
oh i do feel you are in a tough situation. All i would like to say being a women is you need to make your girlfriend feel more secure in this relationship. looks like she has a son and she also must have gone through a rough life. whatshe needs right now is no hassles. Correct me if i am wrong. I think she needs to feel secure in this relationship and that she is the one you want and not your ex. If she does understand you well enough i am sure she will come around. if not then idont think she understands you too well.
@carrotcake14 (361)
• Philippines
10 Jun 08
remember that men and women are created in every different ways.....every unique ways actually,,we like to discuss every problem in evry details and guys just want to solve immediately the problem without analyzing carefully the problem..so have a break..and try to spend time together without thinking who's gonna win or lose...you have to try to ammend the broken relationship for the sake of your kids...
@ShadowBrook (71)
• United States
10 Jun 08
Okay, I'm the second wife of a wonderful man who was married to the most difficult person I've ever met. Ex-wives, what to do with them? She has always and will always try to manipulate our lives to suit her wants/needs. My husband and I decided together, in the beginning of our life together, that we weren't going to let his ex-wife ruin our marriage. She keeps the kids from us and is always attempting to give us a hard time but we casually agree to most things she says unless they are way out there and sometimes they are! But, we never get angry or upset when we "deal" with her because we won't give her the satisfaction of knowing she bugs us. When she thinks she can't get under our skin, she backs off. Now, for the girlfriend... if you truly love her and she truly loves you, give her time to cool off. If she and you are going to work out and possibly be married some day, she can't just give up at the first sign of a fight or argument because there will be plenty of those with an ex-wife around. If things do work out with your girlfriend, I suggest you take the day that is your previous anniversary and make it a FUN day every year from here on out with your girlfriend. Show her who you love and who you are happy to spend your life with. In order for this to work, you have 2 kids and she has 1 and the 2 of you have a lot of work ahead to have a great relationship but it is worth it!
@sunita64 (6469)
• India
10 Jun 08
A very complicated situation indeed, I feel you take your girlfriend to a place where she is most comfortable and happy and then have a serious discussion with her, I just can pray for you that she comes out of her insecurity and believes you. all the best.
@Valenas (1507)
• United States
9 Jun 08
If she is refusing to talk to you, write her a letter. Explain to her that you just felt like your ex-wife was taking cheap shots at you, and saying stuff to try to bring you down, stuff that had no relevance to the topic at hand.
Also, once you have explained the situation, tell your girlfriend why you love her so much. Women like to hear why, and to feel needed.
And, this is just for you, maybe your ex-wife is trying to make you feel bad because she is jealous that you are happy with someone and she isn't?
@Lavender_Breeze (373)
• United States
9 Jun 08
You need to sit down and have a serious discussion with her. You have kids with your ex, and as much as it stinks, you're going to have to have contact with her on some level until they are grown. And maybe past that. Your girlfriend needs to understand that. And she needs to accept that. That you got upset doesn't mean you have feelings for your ex, but that she was pushing the envelope, trying to get under your skin.
This is what I do with my ex. If it concerns the kids, I will speak to him. If he goes off on a tangent, the conversation is over. Period. Goodbye.
Let your girlfriend know that she was making you angry, not 'hurt.'
@ilovered (34)
• Philippines
10 Jun 08
You know that happen to me to. well just take a sit and talk. make her see you love her.never ever make her feel that you are torn between two lovers. Make your step and try to feel what she feel to. talking is the best way to settle that! just be who you are when you talking don't act like you just wanna her back. make her feel the love. let her see how much you love her.make her remember the good days you have! just do it man!
