How do you feel about people giving flowers after you've lost a family member

Flowers - Flowers
Canada
June 10, 2008 12:16am CST
How do you feel about people giving flowers after you've lost a family member? This doesn't impress me in the least. I come from a place in life that's called "Low On Cash" at most times and I think if you can't bring me a bouquet of flowers while I'm living then there's no sense when I'm dead, I can't smell them then. Maybe I am weird to some but here's the thing a lot of people from afar send flowers and all too often I have seen the flowers and they're awful. Look like something that didn't sell previous. Now let's be honest not too many people would call you up and say something like, "Yeah thanks for the flowers but they sure sucked." I lost a parent and I will never forget the flowers, we couldn't get from one room to the other and hundreds of dollars in the trash. I stayed away because my asthma wasn't anymore impressed than I was. There's no way I would ever accept that many flowers at my door because I'd simply quit breathing. Not going to happen. What are your views.
11 people like this
11 responses
@drannhh (15235)
• United States
10 Jun 08
I agree. I'd rather enjoy the flowers when in a position to enjoy them and not have to associate something that lovely with the trauma of loss. I would feel bad every time I saw that kind of flower again for a long time. There has to be a better way.
2 people like this
• Canada
11 Jun 08
There are many other ways. Spend the same amount of money to charity or if you feel you want to help the family give them the money.
@ayrin03 (318)
• Philippines
11 Jun 08
For me i will feel to two reasons.. One is they feel sorry what hapenned and the other one is traditional. They just give flowers because its easier to show concolences to the family but sometimes it's not. They give flowers beacause they have to..I'm sorry for this.. it's only my opinion.peace out
2 people like this
@caramello (4381)
• Australia
11 Jun 08
In the times I have given flowers in this situation one time was someone who passed away from Cancer and I gave a bunch of Daffodils as they symbolise the flower chosen to sell on Cancer week to raise money. Another time a gave a single red rose and on the card wrote "a special flower for a special person" And if my roses were out at the time and they were good I would put a small bunch together and give them.
1 person likes this
• Canada
12 Jun 08
That's actually a neat idea. Come to think about it of all the hundreds we got we did not get daffodils. I'll remember that. Thank You
@weemam (13377)
10 Jun 08
I agree pal , especially at a cremation , Here in Scotland we often only have family flowers and ask for a donation to be made to cancer research or Alzheimer's or something along that line , Flowers only look nice for a short time xx
1 person likes this
• Canada
11 Jun 08
I want to be able to smell them. If I'm going to die from asthma it may as well be while I'm smelling flowers no point after I'm on my back not able to breath. hehehe
@metschica25 (5405)
• United States
10 Jun 08
Hello, I look at sending flowers as a sign of paying respect and celbrating the life of the person . My grandma loved daisy's so that is what many people sent to the home. I sometimes think it will all depend on the person and the family. Maybe, money would help them out more and I know it many cases that is the issue.Giving money to Foundtion is also what people may do.The whole flowers is just something that has been passed on and I think it is a lovely idea. I sometimes will wonder though because flowers to me means life . Like I was saying maybe it is remembering the life the person onced lived and all the happy memories. Maybe if the family doesnt not want flowers they can have that stated in the paper, I have seen that before.
• Canada
11 Jun 08
Yes I sure have learnt and by reading my posts you will see why. Thank You for your comments.
@webeishere (36353)
• United States
10 Jun 08
Instead of a $50 bouquet of flowers, how about $20 towards the exspense of the service etc? HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this
@goldeneagle (6775)
• United States
12 Jun 08
Flowers are a nice gesture, but in essence, they are a waste of money. I would much rather people take all that money that is spent on flowers and donate it to a worthy charity like the cancer society or the Ronald McDonald House. When flowers die, they are gone, but if that money was used for charity, that donation would live on in the form or service to others. This is what I am going to request when I die. I dont want flowers. Just donations to the charities listed above.
1 person likes this
@ptscam (138)
• Portugal
10 Jun 08
people sometimes don't know what to do in those situations... loads of people give flowers in those situations.. it's the way they think or they are trying to help or just to say "i'm here for you", don't need to take that like a bad thing. At least my point of view
• Canada
11 Jun 08
I resalize that but you need to read about my story to know what happened. Too much is too much.
• Poland
14 Jun 08
I think that it's a beautiful tradition to give such flowers to someone that lost a family member. Although not much of peoples understands it properly and they are buying cheap flowers that almost says: "Yeah, I'm a flower but don't think that means I like you or something". Cheers and happy myloting.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
12 Jun 08
Well if a person never speaks or sees me and never has anything to do with me then i would say like you "if you cannot give me flowers while i am alive forget it...People that i send flowers to is people that i love and care about,and i do send flowers,because i care.It is a thing people do for those that they love..I have started to send a live plant though because that way the survivor can take it home as a momento...People who send flowers from far off cannot see what they are sending,and some or bad ,but most are very pretty...I am sure that if they knew how you felt ,they would just save their money..and send nothing..Since you do not care for flowers then you can say on the card ,instead of flowers just donate to your favorite charity...I always want my loved ones to have flowers because it shows that they were very loved and missed....
@lingli_78 (12841)
• Australia
10 Jun 08
well, i'm not really a big fan of flowers too... and the price of flowers here are not cheap as well... but it is just a tradition and it happens in my home country as well... they give flowers to show that they are sorry and sympathise with you after you lost a family member... it is the way they express their condolences... so i think it is OK... take care and have a nice day...