Ladies: What if He did this to you?

@aowaow (1516)
Indonesia
June 12, 2008 3:26am CST
He was in run with her for 9 months. He committed the dating with her in her birthday, he gave a ring to her. She agreed to be his lover. They ran smoothly for 9 months, until one day she wanted to ask him something. "When did you buy this ring?" asked her to him. ------- Past plot: He had a girlfriend before this one. They ran for 3 months, and the girl had him broken up. The core is: The ring which he gave the current g/f, is the one he gave to his first g/f. ------ He revealed the truth to his current g/f about the ring was ever gifted to his ex before her. She sobbed "hard, emotionally". He mentioned that he really loved her, and the girl said she knew. The time when he committed his love to her, was exactly on her birthday. Now she said she needs time and had thanked him for everything. He sent one more message for her. But she didn't replied it back. Ladies, how do you feel about this man? What do you expect from him if he did this to you? PS: Men, you may also contribute your opinion in here, as well what will you do supposedly you did this to your woman?
1 person likes this
18 responses
• India
12 Jun 08
Well, most men are insensitive. I guess it is coz they have less brain than woman, only a big head. This chappie might "love" her, but was maybe trying to save money on the ring. If your friend leaves him, he might give the same ring to his next girlfriend, but might be careful not to repeat his previous blunder. Frankly, I have no patience with men. I would have tossed him out along with his ring, not wasted any time crying over him. Well, if your friend really wants him, she has no choice but to forgive him. But, if she is too hurt by his "money-saving" deed and his insensitivity in blurting out the truth to her, she is better off without him. He might say many more hurting "truths" in the future. It is up to your friend to decide. Cheers and happy mylotting
• Greenland
12 Jun 08
First of all I am 17 years old and I challenge you in any kind of IQ contest you want :P but besides that you didn't even sit down and think what value that ring had for him. I still keep a pressent from my ex even thouqh it has no real vallue and we've been apart for 6 months because it represents to me those 3 months I passed with her and all the emotions that go with those three months. Passing it on to my next girlfriend would mean for me leaving all that behind and devoting my whole hurt to her. But sometimes women are so insensitive that they don't understand us at the slightest bit. (sometimes it's the oposite noone can't deny that)
1 person likes this
• India
12 Jun 08
We speak from our experience; don't forget that. And even the generalizations we make have a powerful reason behind it. If what I said hurt you in any way then I am sorry. As for brains, it is no use having one if people don't use it, correct? This guy should have kept his ex girlfriend's ring in a safe place and started life afresh with the new one. He did not do that. I wonder how he would feel if his girlfriend had given him all the gifts returned by her ex boyfriend? Not good, right? So, in this particular case, at least, this guy should have used his brains and thought about how his action would hurt another. Cheers!
• Greenland
12 Jun 08
No it's ok I don't get hurt so easily :P I just really hate stereotypes that's all, anyways as I told you to him maybe it was one really great thing to do I don't know him so I can't tell if he did just for economic reasons or anything else :P I think that the girl should difinetelly sit down and disquss it with him.
@spoiled311 (5500)
• Philippines
12 Jun 08
hi aow! well, that is what i noticed...men are really practical, sometimes on the verge of being insensitive...i believe he did not mean anything bad about it. but it is really in the perception. the guy didn't want to waste a good ring, and thought he ccould just pass it on to his new love. i guess, what he could have probably done is to exchange the old ring for a new one, that would show his sensitivity. but i believe if it is just one ring and the girl went off like that, she also didnt love him that much. it was one incident only. she could just have talked it out with him. you know, if you need something, you have to say it to me, because most of the time, they can't take hints. i do that with my husband, and things are better with us. good day and God bless you! :)
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
12 Jun 08
good point spoiled311! always better to solve problems by talking things through. if you really love someone, you won't just leave him at once. you will try and solve things out with that person. women who are like in the girl in this story pictures out women who are so materialistic. i am not saying that it's good to receive something your boyfriend had given to his previous girlfriend but atlest, explain your side and let him explain his. then, go to a conclusion! maybe, give him back the ring and wait until he's able to buy you one. anne
• Greenland
12 Jun 08
quite correct spoiled the fact that she left him just like that means she isn't really in love with him. but you must reconsider your stereotypes cause they don't aply to everyone and shouldn't be used to criticise someone who you don't know at all.
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
13 Jun 08
well, to be honest, i will be hurt as well at first... but if i really love him, i won't leave him just because of a ring... it is better to sit down with him and ask him what is the reason behind his actions... i really appreciate honest people... to me, it is better to be honest rather than being bluff about... so i really appreciate his honesty even though it hurts me and i will find out his reasons for doing that... take care and have a nice day...
• Singapore
13 Jun 08
This boyfriend being describe here is too honest, he is able to create a lie to cover his dirty tracks. Though, it is a white lie, his current girlfriend should be happy. In this current world where couples are broadminded about how many previous girlfriends or boyfriends one has. So, what I can say is the boyfriend should say a white lie in order to win his current girlfriend 's heart. Therefore, I will tell my current girlfriend that this ring is bought on the day we fell in love.
@michecu (637)
• Philippines
13 Jun 08
Well, a ring can not measure love. It's just a ring, and its not a big deal at all. I'll keep the ring anyway. What if that ring has some sentimental value to him and you just reject it just because he has given it to his ex before, it would seem to look as if you are the one who is not sincere because you're measuring his love according to material things he can afford to give. I've known a few cases wherein a guy buys a ring and gives it to the girl he loves...but if the ring is returned to him, it means that that girl do not deserve the ring at all... and maybe the ring really belongs to next girl.
• Philippines
13 Jun 08
A big ouch!!!that hurts... Man born with insensitivity inside him. But boyss.... always...always...always... put in mind that be impressive while courting a woman. let her feel that she is special. It's very painful receiving a gift from a boyfriend that belongs to his x. It's ok if you won't tell but you did. If I were the girl??? I will never forgive you and will never see you again hehehe. So next time be very careful and remember that any girl is very fragile when it comes to relationship...
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
12 Jun 08
if it had been my boyfriend, i'll surely talk to him about the situation. if i really love my boyfriend, it won't ruin my relationship to him. honestly, i won't be happy if my boyfriend will do that to me. like, give me the same ring he had given to his previous girlfriend. so, i will talk to him about it, give him back the ring and wait until he is ready to buy me a new one. doesn't need to be really expensive but atleast, something i can call my own. nevertheless, my love for him won't change at all. anne
• United States
13 Jun 08
I want to make it clear first off that i am NOT a materlistiac girl. HOWEVER if my man EVER tried to give me something he had given to his past girlfriend that would be the beginning of the end... dependnign on the circumstances it may not very well end the relationship in genreal but there will be consequences. if a man truely loved a women why would he give a ring something so meaningful that he had already promised to another to the girl he loves now.. the only kind of ring that could be meaningful that was already someone else is if it was his grandmothers or mothers or a family heirloom, other then that there is no reason to give the one oyu love now a ring that oyu have given in the past... besides you shouldnt give a ring unless it was for real.. for sure... and what was that other past girl thinking... im sorry but any jewerely ive gotten from my exes.. were mine to keep... after i got over that someone the jewerly was given away or sold.. i wouldn give it back.. it was mine afterall right??
@Madona1 (2096)
• Gibraltar
12 Jun 08
Gosh! If my hubby gave me the ring that he once gave to his ex-wife, I would be very upset. But if I am still in love with him, I would give him a bottle of perfume that I bought and meant to give to my ex to see how he feels. We are human, regardless personality, taste, style, and thought etc. this type of things shouldn’t happen. In other words, if that man couldn’t afford a decent ring, just bought an economical ring will do, as I believe his girl friend won’t mind as long as he proves his love.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Jun 08
I think this man is a player and a cheapskate also. the girl may have loved him but her common sense told her he was a jerk for sure. She blew him off with good reason and he should not have been hurt or' surprised. hewas a jerk, if he had done this to me I would have blown him off too as he is a bona fide jerk.
• Bahamas
12 Jun 08
Hi aowaow! I think he just had bad judgement. Most men dont place the same sentimental value on thins as we women do. If it had been me i would be upset of course, but to the point of breaking up with him.. i dont think so. I understand he may be lacking in the sensitivity department, but maybe a good guy. I do know that i would demand a new ring, one that i personally saw him buy. After all they do love each other right?
12 Jun 08
Sorry but if my b/f gave me the same ring that he gave to his ex, I would give it back and demand a new one!!! Not only would it remind me of his ex, it would make me feel cheap and worthless!! It would make me wonder if he is actually over his ex and uses the ring to remind himself 'what could have been'! I wouldnt expect the ring to a brand new expensive one!! Just one that he hasnt given to someone else with as much meaning as an engagement ring!! If he really loved me and I meant that much to him, surely he wouldnt give me the same ring as his ex??!! Might just be me, but hey!!
• Canada
13 Jun 08
Well, one thing we all have to understand is that men are from Mars! They do not think like women do. Women think of that as an evil thing to do and question his love. But, men think of it as a being thrifty , I mean the thought was the same, "I wanted to marry you, didn't I? So what is the problem?". I think if it happened to me, and I am now 51 yrs old, I would admit that he is very cheap, to his face and mention that he could possibly take it back to the jewelers and trade it in for a different one and that I absolutely still love him! Good luck to you!
• Philippines
13 Jun 08
Good day.. honestly maybe you're right but not about our brains but with our hearts. We're insensitive sometimes, for one I might made the same mistake concerning the ring. It's just a material thing what if that ring meant something to us. Was is so wrong to give it to the next love of our lives when the first one broke with us and gave it back? I really can't get it maybe with this discussion I will.
@subha12 (18441)
• India
12 Jun 08
Are you feeling this issue in life? What ever may be, i think the lady has right to be sad after her Bf revealed this to her. why she should come second. A gift which is returned by the firsr Gf, can never be agift to the present one.still if the true love is there, they can continue.
@agfarm (930)
• United States
12 Jun 08
Dear aowaow....this certainly is a tough One. I can understand the curiosity for her asking him about the history of the ring. What I don't understand is.....If the separation from the first girlfriend was so BAd......why on Earth would he want that reminder around ? especially with his new , beautiful....Fiance? I understand that rings are expensive , but I would sell the thing for what ever I got , and take it from there. Rings are meant to be personal , and special ( at least to a woman ) The ONLY time I would accept a Ring that another Woman ( or Women ) has worn.....is if it were a Family Heirloom. At that point ....it would be an honor to wear it. Because it carries so much Sentimental Value , and has only been in the FAmily. But....that's it! My Husband Looked for my ring. It is a Special Cut trillium. He wanted something unique for me , because........believe me.....I am Unique. He saved the traditional 3-months Salary ( Construction-worker's wages, so he made GOOD money ) to pay for it. So.....the fact that he was willing to Sacrifice so much....just for me.....Makes my ring all that more important to me. His Sacrifice.......makes me understand , how he truly feels inside.....not just the Material ring.
@cryw0lf (1302)
• United Kingdom
12 Jun 08
I'm not having a dig at men. But they are very simple minded. They generally dont think as much before they talk, and they can be insensitive. Though i understand that sometimes they dont mean to be. At the end of the day he told this women the truth. However. I would not accept the ring. I would probably be angry with him, and explain that i'm obviously not important enough to recieve a special present that was FOR ME - in the beginning. I'd probably call him insensitive and i'd need that "Time to think". I would rather have a box of bath stuff then a ring that was meant for someone else. Men have to understand that it hurts - even though they think its harmless.
@gxnfly (1147)
• China
12 Jun 08
That's terrible!Yeah,this is the first thing going round my mind when I just read this.I think I would have got mad at him,and ignore him for a few days for what he did to me.That was really offensive ,and it's hard for me to accept that.But let's think about it this way,he loves that girl right?So I think we don't need to take it too hard.He just made a mistake,but he loves her anyway.Guys are not as sensitive as girls,he perhaps did that for saving money. Look what I just said?I know I would still be quite upset and mad at him if that happened to me.