Naming the grandparents?
By fluffysue
@fluffysue (1482)
United States
June 12, 2008 11:53am CST
I am lucky to have a wonderful little niece, who is the first grandchild on both sides of the family. So last year before she was born, there was much discussion over the names the grandparents wanted to be called by. Now, my brother-in-law's mother wanted to be "Grandma", and my mom said she wants to be "Nana". I tried to tell her that she can also be "Grandma", but she said she wants to be Nana because that was what we called her mother. This is precisely the reason it bothers me, as my Nana only passed away about 6 years ago. I really have a problem referring to her as "Nana" no matter how hard I try. And I will have to when talking to my niece, now she is only 8 months old, but it is only a matter of time before she is talking. If I have children this is going to be a big issue, as they should really call her the same thing, and I don't like it! I think this even bothers my sister a little, and she is not nearly as easily bothered as I am, but not enough for her to protest. (Trust me, she would if it was a major issue to her). I am hoping my sweet little niece decides on her own to call her something else!
Would this bother you? Maybe I am just overreacting, but it has been a year since this was decided and it still bothers me! Obviously this is not a life or death issue, I will get over it, and I am very happy to have a little niece who I adore. :)
Also, what do you call your grandparents? I had a Grandma & Grandpa, and a Nana & Pop-Pop.
3 people like this
6 responses
@sweetdesign (5142)
• United States
13 Jun 08
I am sorry for the loss of you Nana I have no living grandparents any longer and know the whole that creates. Two of my grandparents passed when I was in jr. high and highschool (my maternal grandfather and paternal grandmother both of whom I was really close to) the other two passed before I reached 32 years old.
i called my maternal grandmother (I was not close to her at all even though she lived with us most of my life) granny. I called my maternal grandfather (whom i was extremely close to) grandpa. My paternal grandmother (I was extremely close to) was grandma and my paternal grandfather was grandpa dess.
I know it is hard for you to think of your mother in terms of Nana but I hope that you will try to accustome yourself to it, think of it in terms of your niece and your future children having as close a relationship with your mother as you had with your Nana. It can be a beautiful thing.
2 people like this
@fluffysue (1482)
• United States
22 Jun 08
Thank you. It was a few years ago that she passed away, and I know I was lucky that she was alive until I was nearly 30.
That is a very good way of looking at it. :)
@fiona08 (454)
• United States
13 Jun 08
I understand why it bugs you. Nana was not just a title to you, it was your name for your grandmother. I get that. But have you considered putting your mother's first name with nana? Like I have heard many people say Grandma Jen, or Nana Sue. That may make it seem more like your mom's own name, and not detract from your personal connection to your grandmother.
2 people like this
@fluffysue (1482)
• United States
22 Jun 08
I do like that, I wish I had thought of that when the whole "Nana" thing came up. Maybe I'll mention that to my sister. (Since the grandchild is her child, I don't feel I really have the right to say anything, myself.)
@danishcanadian (28954)
• Canada
14 Jun 08
Hmmm....
I don't think it would bother me, but that's not to say it should not bother you, as different people react differently to different things.
I had a Mormor and a Morfar on Mon's side, as those were the Danish words for Mom's Mom and Mom's Dad, and my Canadian grandparents on Dad's side were Grandma and Grandpa.
In Danish Mor means mother and Far means father, so had my Dad been Danish his parents would have been Farmor and Farfar.
Maybe you and your sister need to address tis together with your parents again, and let them know that the pain is still really hard for you to deal with.
1 person likes this
@fluffysue (1482)
• United States
22 Jun 08
That's interesting, the Danish have a good way to differentiate the two sets of grandparents! I think we need to come up with something like that in English.
Thanks for the advice, though I'm still not sure I should say anything as it would probably bother my mom.
@Gemmygirl1 (2867)
• Australia
13 Jun 08
I only ever had the 1 Grandma & she refused to be called Nanna - not sure why but that's how it was. We were allowed to call her Grandma, Granny or Gran - all of which i hated but you get that!
Now i have a daughter of my own, she has 2 Nanna's - which is fine, it's easier to remember for her, then my Dad is Pappa (i was pushing for Pop but he hated it) & my partner's Dad is just Grandad which is fine.
I don't think it took my Dad long to realise he wanted to be Pappa because apparently that's what we used to call his dad (my Pappa passed when i was around 2 so i don't remember anything about him).
I don't think it really matters what kids call their Grandparents, as long as they know who they are & which one is which!
2 people like this
@fluffysue (1482)
• United States
22 Jun 08
Yes, that's a good point!
Maybe it is common for new grandparents to want to use the name their children called their own parents, if they are no longer living. I hadn't thought of that.
@thetruth4you (394)
• United States
13 Jun 08
I used to call my dad's father "gramps" and my dad's mom was "nanio". My mom's father was "grandpa" and my mom's mother was called "nana". My children call my husband's mother "omie" (apparently this is german for grandmother) and they called his father "grandpa Jim". They call my parents "mema" and "papa". So everyone has a different name and all is well....until we become grandparents. My children have not had kids yet and when they do I will probably be in your situation.....ugh...these names hold a special place in my heart and it is hard to share.
2 people like this
@fluffysue (1482)
• United States
22 Jun 08
Wow you have a lot of different names in your family!
Yes it is hard to share names, I understand that. To me "Nana" is my grandmother, not my mom! It is very odd. At least you will get to decide what they call you.
@Valenas (1507)
• United States
12 Jun 08
I call all of my grandparents Grandma and Grandpa. And, I never hear my family call their grandparents anything else. It is probably because they are all from the same area (Illinois), so maybe how people refer to their grandparents, or what their grandparents want to be called, depends on where a person lives.
If it is a personal issue, mention it to your mother. But, your mother is a proud grandparent, and hopefully, this will not be her only grandchild. So, if you will be able to get over it, let her have her wish. She will be all the more happy.
2 people like this
@fluffysue (1482)
• United States
22 Jun 08
Doesn't that get confusing, calling them all "Grandma" or "Grandpa", or do you use a name also? (e.g.: "Grandpa Joe"?)
I'm sure she will be happier if I keep my mouth shut. I'll get used to it eventually.
