Work or Stay Home

United States
June 12, 2008 8:21pm CST
Im a young woman who stays at home and raises 4 young children under the age of 6 while my boyfriend gets to go out and enjoy his day and leave me with the children some would say that I got it made to be able to stay at home and not worry about bills to pay but, the thing is i want to work I do not want to sit in here every day. I've been doing this for the last six years and im ready for something new outside the home. Do you think that I am crazy for wanting to work instead of laying back enjoying home? Would you rather work or stay home?
4 people like this
13 responses
@ersmommy1 (12595)
• United States
13 Jun 08
I work from home. so I suppose I have the best of both worlds. It saves on daycare. My daughter is going to kindergarten this year. But I recently found out I am pregnant. So my focus will be a bit split. I have only done this for 2 years. After my daughter was born I worked part time in an office. No I don't think you are crazy. If it will make you happy I say try and work it out. Good luck, let us know what happens.
2 people like this
• United States
13 Jun 08
For me, it was a personal decision. I chose to stay at home and take care of my children. I did not want another person raising my kids and impressing their values and morals on their minds when they might not match mine. This is not to say that my morals and values are the only right ones, and I do approve of my children seeing the other side of the coin so to speak. However, I wanted the ability to ensure that the things most important to me were passed down to them. It is quite frustrating for me when my husband goes off to work daily, has adult conversations (what? you mean Dora isn't the end all, be all of the world? lol), and gets some time off from the pressures of kids 24/7. I am very lucky though in the fact that he makes sure he does his part when he comes home, giving me time to write or work at making a bit of extra money online. He also has been known to drag me kicking and screaming out of the house to go out, just to give me some alone time. I do not think you are crazy! There are many days when I wish I was back in the working world. And then I sit back and remember how fast my children are growing up, and I change my mind. You must do what is right for you, and for your children. It is normal for anyone who works a full time job to tell you that you are crazy. You aren't!
@Hatley (164170)
• Garden Grove, California
13 Jun 08
noyou are not crazy so why not discuss this with your boyfriend and then see if youcan find partime work 'that would let you be home partof the time and yet'let you work among adults and be an adult as well as a mom 'of course you will need to workout any child care problems also but others have done it so maybe you could also.
@Lock_Heed (210)
• United States
13 Jun 08
I used to work a 9-5. Now I stay at home and watch my kids, lol. My wife works outside for the most part. We also have a few online businesses but I handle all that. Wanting to go out is not crazy. I have been doing this for 7 years and have since then started a seasonal business (gets me out of the house) and have more independance than anyone I know. There are plenty of ways of making money at home it just takes ALOT of time and patience to get it going to where you want it. We only have 2 kids so having four I can only imagine. Most I ever get at one time in when inlaws come by usually around 8-11 kids but that is not everyday, maybe once every 5 months. Talk it over with your husband and let him know, maybe starting something part time could get you going. Best of luck !
@Icyfairy (284)
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
13 Jun 08
you're not crazy for wanting that at all. i guess after 6 yrs you need a little change. but before jumping out into the world of work you gotta make sure that you're prepared to be doing two jobs at once. your responsibilities at home are not gonna go away just because you're working so just be prepared for hectic days when you start working. this is not to dissuade you from working because i'm all for working mothers. after all thats wat i plan to be. i'm jus givng a little bit of advice
@Pitgull (1522)
• United States
13 Jun 08
I can understand completely...although I am not a stay at home mother, I know what it's like to feel cut off from the rest of the world. AND I know what it's like to feel you could serve another purpose and work, help yourself, help others, and earn your own money. How's that for security for your kids?
• United States
13 Jun 08
no you are not crazy... everyone needs SOME time to themselves... you could either get a part time job and have someone watch the kids for you then. or you could do what a friend of mine does... she watches the kids while her husband works... then when he gets home its his turn to watch them and she gets to relax, some days at home and some days she and i go out and have a "girls night out"
@magikrose (5432)
• United States
13 Jun 08
I am a stay home mom as well and I know how you feel. IF you can work just an idea find a job opposite your boyfriends hours that way you dont have to worry about daycare expenses. I cant work because of a medicle issue that I am trying to get disibility benefits for. If approved that will be an extra income coming in so that we dont have to worry about the bills much.
@freedomg (1684)
• United States
13 Jun 08
For me I prefer to stay at home, but I have found things to do here that help with the itchy feet. It's hard to be a stay at home mom ecspecially in a time where we are perceived to be lazy and nonproductive. I am very productive I'm producing 4 wonderful people that will effect the world as adults. If you really want to work though(get a chance to talk to grown ups and such) I see nothing wrong with that as long as it doesn't effect your real job as a mom. What ever you decide to do I hope you ind the peace of mind you are seeking.
• Philippines
13 Jun 08
i'd rather work than stay at home.Literally, my life is in constant motion. as much as possible, i love when i'm being challenged. but if fate dictates me to stop and stay at home, let's say if im now a mother , then i would love to do that. however, that won't stop me from doing something, maybe i'll try to manage a business even at home.
@fiona08 (454)
• United States
13 Jun 08
We are all different people with different needs. You need to take care of you. If being a stay at home mom is not your thing, or just not your thing right now, you need to make the change that will keep you happy. I know moms that stay at home day in and day out, when it feels like drudgery, are not the best moms they can be. I think it is wonderful for a mom to be at home if she can, but only if it is what she wants to do. Your children will be much better off if mom is a happy camper! :) Good luck to you.
@krismort (25)
• United States
13 Jun 08
You are not crazy at all. I am a single homeschooling mother of 4 children, ages 9yrs, 3yrs 18months, and 4months I can relate most likely to your days, they are exhausting and can be quite frustrating. Being a stay at home mom is not for everyone. I always told my ex that working outside of the home would be like a vacation. He seemed to think that just because I am at home during the day means that I get to relax. HA! That is funny. I am always the first to get up and the last to go to bed and I am lucky if I get to sit down at all, or go to the bathroom twice a day, let alone take a shower twice a week. Gross I know but my kids really do keep me busy. Have you evaluated your reasons for staying home? I personally, have my many reasons that I have chosen to "sacrifice" making more money and relating to other adults most of the day, so that I can be with my children and they can be with their momma. And I feel confident that I am making the best choice, but I also evaluate that decision constantly. If you are not happy being home with your kids as much as you are then you could do more harm than good. You need to find ways to get some time for yourself, whether it be a girls night once a week or even once a month, a date night, an hour of quit time a day, time to take a walk and talk with another mom. Try joining a play group where you can meet other moms while the kids play and one day a month the dads watch the kids so your women can have some time to bond without kids there, or start one of your own. I suggest trying the play group thing first and then if that isn't enough adult interaction then try working part time, then if that isn't satisfying maybe then it is time for you to work full time good luck in whatever you decide.
@cjgrooms (4456)
• United States
13 Jun 08
No, i do not think you are crazy. It is hard to stay at home 24/7 with children and have no adult conservation. Remember that if you are unhappy and miserable staying home you can't get be a good mother. Oh yeah, if you have 4 children i doubt you get a lot of time "laying back" much less enjoying it.