HELP! How to stop my 11 year old son from starting fires

Although I have never had this issue with my children, I would say that it is time to take your son to a Doctor who specializes in helping younger children work through issues. There may be an underlying cause for his fascination with fire. I hesitate to give any other type of advice on this situation, because it is delicate and the wrong advice could cause an affect that will make the situation worse than it is. Call your family Doctor and ask him to recommend a child psychologist. It may be your son's way of acting out, rebelling or be part of a bigger problem such as an issue at school. Best Wishes...

i think u should put him in therapy. a opinion of a professional is very much needed. u need to find out what is the root of the problem which causes him to light fires. why does it facinates him, and how it can be stopped.

Thats scary, your right, you have to do something about this. Check with your local fire department. Some fire departments have special programs just for kids that like to start fires. Anything can happen, somebody could get hurt or die. Good luck and I hope you get this figured out and you find some help for your son.

That is a peculiar habit of your child you got in there. I would definitely suggest that you have to consult a child psychologist to make an assessment as to why is he fascinated with fires. This could be a start of some problems. Although when I was kid myself I was also fascinated with fires. But, I did not go through burning of anything in particular. I was just delighted to see fires like burning garbage or a lighted candle but I do not start out of compulsion to make a fire myself.

I was just wondering, where did he get those flares from? cop or fireman?

Some people might say I have a fasination with fire, I also have RESPECT for fire. I am a wildland firefighter, and have had to go in and fight fires that were started by kids, and ended up burning acres of land. He's very lucky, he hasn't gotten hurt. And to lie about doing it, that is not a good sign. If you really want to teach him a lesson in what fire can do, take him to visit kids at a burn unit. Let him see what fire can do, and if he thinks it can't happen to him, tell him that's what they thought too.

I would keep matches and lighters far away from him to start with. I think maybe he need to talk to a doctor about why he is so obsessed with starting fires. Whatever you do I would do it fast before he hurts himself or others.

i also had such problem with my sisters daughter, i couldn't stop her physically to stop doing fires, so i brought her some movies or incidents which happened due to fires and the survivors videos, next time she was even afraid to get near fire

Kaeli you are so wrong it is something that is serious. how do 'you think that arsonists got started setting fires? from having the same problem in childhood. you cannot do this by yourself and just grounding him is not going to help. You need to get some mental help for your son at once, do not fool yourself on this at all.do notwait until he starts a wild fire and costs you thousands of dollars,he can be helped now while hes just a little'kid.talk to your doctor and get a referral to the proper mental health person who can help a kid with fire starting desires. be honest with your doctor as he can help you. seek medical and mental help.

Take him to the fire station and ask the firefighters to talk to him. Also, I agree with talking to your family Dr. No shame in seeking help.

Firstly, I think that you should keep all the matches and lighters locked away or put out of reach, because from the house and from friends is the only place that he could get them, since there is no shop that will give an 11 year old boy anything that would allow him to start a fire. He could be doing it to get attention, is there any aspect of his life that you have not been paying much attention to, whether it is a sport he is interested in or his academic life. It could always be peer pressure, some people at school might be making him to do and he is doing so to act all big and strong.

When my son was around 8 he was good friends with the boy down the street. One day the boy was staying over because his parents were out of town. I was having a yard sale so I was busy. The boys came out and said they were gonna go down to his friends house and play in the yard. Since it was just 2 houses down I said ok. Well....come to find out the neighbor boy had stuck leaves in a hole in one of their oak trees and lit the leaves and it smoldered ALL night. When the parents came home the next day they discovered it and called an arhorist to check out the tree and it had severe damage. When they realized they could have burned down the house it scared them so badly that they never played with fire again.

Well most kids actually like experimenting with fire but not that much. But this kind of punishment wont get you anywhere sit down and explain to him exactly what the destruction caused by fire can be and if you don't seem to get anywhere with dialog I suggest you get your kid to a psychiatrist he/she'll know how to talk him out of it

I know exactly how you feel, for I have a 12 year old son that is fascinated with fires. His fascination started when he was around four years old and needless to say he still has it. He has set many things on fire. What I have done is I keep all my lighters and matches up. This has not always worked for he has been able to get them somewhere else outside of the home. But I am always checking through his stuff to see if I can find any. I also took him to a child psychologist and he still continues to see one. He was diagnosed with ADHD and a mood disorder. He now takes meds for his disorders and his impulsiveness is lessened. He still has his fascinations with the fires, but he is able to control his impulsive behavior a little better now and does not play with fire as much as he was. The last incident we did have with fire was about 10 months ago, he was mowing the lawn and I thought he was putting gas in the lawnmower, however he put it in a bottle and then put a match down the bottle. Luckily he was able to let go of the bottle before it popped and the gas flew everywhere. This incident made me put him in a half day treatment program at a psychiatric hospital. He attended therapy for 5 days a week, four hours a day for 9 months with other children that had problems like him. The treatment they provided was very intensive. I am so glad that I did this, it helped my son so much and he now tries to think more of the consequences to himself and others before he does things he should not do. I'm not saying things are perfect for us for he still does have his moments, but we are headed in the right direction now. I would suggest that you take him to see a child psychologist and perhaps some type of therapy to help him. Good luck to you!

RUN - don't walk - to the nearest mental health counselor - psychologist - psychiatrist - whatever you can find - this child needs counseling! Please get help for your son BEFORE anything more serious occurs. This is a problem that reaches beyond parental discipline!