nanny share

@sanell (2112)
United States
June 13, 2008 9:44pm CST
Hi All, so here is my dillema....okay it is not really about the nanny share but it is about the other child that I share the nanny with. This little girl is so sweet and so cute, and just a bundle of love, but she is an only child and she is extremely spoiled by her father. Her mother is very good, she is good about disciplining her daughter but unfortunately her husband is not really that good at it. She has been biting my youngest and I have had it, I told the nanny since I was home this time that i wanted to do the discipline this time because I wanted to try to make it clear to this little girl this is not acceptable behavior. So I took her and sat her down, now mind you she is almost 3 but still, she knows what she did was wrong, and SHE ADMITTED she did it. She refused to look at me, which proved that she knew it was bad but she was trying to get away with it...IT was SO OBVIOUS. She wanted the nanny, I said "No you are sitting here with me and we are going to talk about it and that she was not going to leave her seat until she understood the consequences" She was so upset, finally she looked at me. I told her that what she did was not acceptable, I did not yell at her, I just talked to her like I would talk with any adult that i needed to discuss something with. IN the end she cried and she said she was sorry and that was that...She started to not listen to the nanny, I told her at her eye level if she did not listen to the nanny she would have a time out, She immediately listend and obeyed So I know she is hearing me and understanding. I called her parents to discuss what i had done and what I feared if she was not getting the consistency in this to keep her from this terrible behavior which is just getting away with things. The dad was also in the conversation...He kept saying that yes she is testing but to have such HIGH consequence like taking away her security blanket was not something he was okay with. He just kept saying, if she is bad she gets a time out and no popsicle...Uh, yeah that does not work....because she can find a different treat, that is not effective enough I said. I told the mom that the nanny does take her security blanket away because that is something that works, it has proven to work when she is bad with the nanny, and the mom told the dad but the dad was again like "No just a popsicle" I told them that we can work this all out but I wanted them to know what I was doing and what I was telling the nanny so that they are aware of it and that we all work together because I am not going to continue to be a part of it if the behavior continues. At the end of the day I had to give the little girl another time out, SHe was REALLY upset with that....But I did not care, she did not listen to me, we the parents all agreed that we need to nip the bad behavior in the bud and the only and best way to do it is to give more time outs and be more consistent...she is getting away with things at home, and she is testing those boundaries that is her age right now. I told her she had to look at me, she would not and was crying for her mom and the nanny. I said to her "No, the nanny is not going to help you out and your mom is not here right now, you sit here and stay here until you are ready to talk" So she did, she wanted to pick the chair and i would not let her I said "No, you sit in this chair and you have timeout here, not there, this is not your rules, these are my rules, these are the nanny rules these are your mom's rules too" I just want her to realize that she can not get away with things...she can not always get her way. So she sat there crying, then calmed down, after 1 minute I went back and asked if she was ready to talk, she immediately hid her eyes from me so I knew she was not ready to talk...I said "The sooner you and I can talk about it and have an understanding the sooner you can get out of this chair if you do not want to talk now you have to sit here" She was a very quick learner, I left her again for 1 minute I came back and she was ready to talk. I told her that if I say something and she does not do it the first time, she would have a time out but that I appreciated her sitting in the chair and that it was a very good girl of her to sit in the chair ...she said she was sorry and understood why she was in the chair. 2 minutes later her parents came home. I told them that she had been crying because she just had another time out. I explained to them exactly what happened and that we would instill the timeouts with her so that we can nip it in the bud FAST. As long as we all stay consistent it will work and could take a minimum of a few days for her to not want to have a time out as that is what it took for my oldest to stop the bad behavior. I told her that i had a whole week of Grace being in a timeout almost every hour on the hour...I was not kidding, I had to stay consistent otherwise it would not work.... IN the end it worked out but what would you do? Would you just stop and say "No more I am out?" and leave them to pay for the nanny the rest of the time knowing that I would be without a Nanny? What would you do?
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