Do we have a right to hate our own mother?????

United States
June 13, 2008 10:10pm CST
What you do,guys if your mom make a story to you so you have to send her money something like that and then you found out she lied to you.What if you forgive her and then she do it again and again??? Are you going to hate her?... or are you going to forgive her and give more chance over and over again?? You think we don't have a right to hate her or we do have???
17 people like this
84 responses
@ayessa (1583)
• Philippines
14 Jun 08
I have experience that before but I never hate my mom. I don't have any right to feel that to her. I know that I can be angry to her but that's the only thing I can feel towards her but I still didn't allow it to happen. I owe my life to her so I was just returning the favor to her.
1 person likes this
@ayessa (1583)
• Philippines
16 Jun 08
Yeah it will surely take time. It is really devastating that one of the people whom you trusted more has lied to you. I just hope that one day you will recover from what had happen. I sometimes felt tired of those lies but what can I do? I was the one who makes it happen over again. If only I don't gave money anytime she ask it won't happen anymore but I can't help it. So better leave those experience. LEt nature takes it place. They all have karma.
• United States
16 Jun 08
Thanx ayessa for your comforting words.My mom didnt bother to txt me now.I think she realized what she did is not right and maybe she realized how upset I am.Anyway I already forgive her.I don't keep hatred in my heart especially to my mom....
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Jun 08
That's nice of you ayessa.I don't really hate my mom but I was upset inside only.I think it takes me some times bfore it goes away...Im just sad knowing that my own mother lied to me...
1 person likes this
@inia_54 (175)
• Malaysia
11 Jul 08
Find out the reason why she is asking you for money. Does she use it to support her living? Or does she spend it on luxury items, or does she has debts to pay? For what ever reason, I think it's better that she ask from you, rather she goes borrowing from money lenders or begging from neighbours, and friends. Sit down a talk to mother about her financial probelm and help her to settle it. The you can work out some monthly allowance for her, affordable to your budget.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Aug 08
awww...thats a wonderful adivice of yours inia.Thanx a lot.I guess you're right that maybe she has a reason why she lied to me.Thank you for your comment.
@kaleegirl45 (1515)
• United States
14 Jun 08
I can understand where you're coming from, but in a different situation. Me and my faimly stay here with her. I have offered to pay the cable, phone and feed her cat and dog. we also buy her thing from the market. She offered to buy me a car to make up for the lost of my job. I use to make 30,000 a year, it may not be much to some, but it helped me and husband. In the long run, she pays for my car 379.00 at month. We now pay 150.00 for rent. 80.00 for cable and 25 for internet which is ours. If I need to go out with my husband for the day, she get upset, I dont' have any help from my brother or sister. My sister will help out, BUT only during the weekend. So if want to leave during the week, we can't because they never have time off, but yet they can both go on vacation anytime during the year. So, I'm stuck. she dont' ask me for money, and I dare not ask her for any. I get that feeling, where I do hate her, and I also feel like I'm just here introduing on her. It's not my house, there is nothin here that belong to me. God forbid I try and change thing around here, because she think I'm throwing her out. But yet her son, was able to sell all her furnture. I sometimes think that we have that right to dislike them. We were brought up not to hate our parents. And sometimes we don't feel that way. Maybe this is another MYLOT issues. but I feel that hate does come up. It just depend on how your parent are with you, how they raised you, how they have treated you. Many people will say, that they hate their parents. Sometimes i feel that way.I hope this help you some.
• United States
15 Jun 08
Thank you kaleegirl.I understand what you are trying to say.Me and my mom really we're not that close since I was lil kid.I am more close to my father but he already passed away long time ago.Yes your right that it depends how our parents raise us.My parents raise us good only lack of communications most of the time. Thanx for you comment kalee.
@ynigz1 (472)
• China
7 Jul 08
If mother really do a harm to you, and that's really hurt you. I think you can. All of the parents are adult they should be responsibility to their own act, if they do that is want you to be good. Then I will not hate her, because that is for me, don't want I going to bad person. So don't be to mind of things mother do, they just want us with a nice life, although maybe something they do with the wrong way, but still for us. then we can not hate our own mother for that reason. And people sometimes doing wrong thing, so don't care about everything they do. Sometimes we also doing things hurt her, does she hate us?
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jul 08
Thanx inigz for your comment.
• Philippines
11 Jul 08
no. Even if they wronged you, you don't have the right to hate your mother. It is written in the Bible to love our parents.
• United States
14 Jul 08
THanx bianca and I know your right.
@fxcash (105)
• Canada
11 Jul 08
In order to hate someone you should really have a very good reason for that conviction, so if your mother was mean to you and abusive and hurtful and did nothing what so ever that you could love her for than yes you do have the right to hate her. But remember that hate requires a lot more energy than those we feel that way about actually deserve, you would be much better off to just recognize the person for who they are and what they are and be indifferent to them.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Aug 08
Thank you fxcash for your nice comment.I appreciated it.I already forgive my mom bcoz were just a human,WE make mistake..
@rainyl (671)
• United States
14 Jun 08
Well, Hate is a very strong hurtful word, so it is ok to dislike your parent's. You do not have to keep sending your mother money, ask her what she needs it for or ask her to give you the address of the bill she needs to pay and tell her you will send the money from your home. Both of my parent's have passed away now and I miss them and yes we have had our differences and yes I have shouted several times I HATE YOU, however in my heart I knew it was not true. So just forgive and do not let her take advanatage of you anymore, learn how to say NO
• United States
14 Jun 08
Thanx for your comment rainy.I guess I have to say no to her once in awhile,but your're right than even we say we hate our mother deep inside we still love her...
• China
30 Jun 08
hello ,i am glad to talk this topic with you here.yes,i support your words,rainy.we should not say the word-hate to our mothers.and i think we should know what she really needs and how to resolve this matter..ont only we can find the actual reason for the matter:mother lied,we should let it never happen again.of course, we should have a good idea to do it..
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Jun 08
Thanx a lot successlog for you comment.I really appreciated it.Yes you guys are right...we dont hate our mother no matter what.
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (37952)
• Philippines
16 Jun 08
Well in this kind of circumstances I cannot but understand how you feel about your mother. But, in the strongest sense of the word I suggest that you would tone down a bit your hatred since no matter how you hate her guts out it's still your mother. Maybe its just that she needs the attention and by asking you this you do give her the emotional thing she needs. Try assessing yourself, how close are you to your mother. Remember to always have that respect at least to your mother. Mothers are the only link to who you are. No matter how imperfect they may be but she at one time in her life have sacrificed for 9 months just to bear a life that is you. Thinking just that maybe you could forgive her and maybe check on her from time to time and give what is due her as a mother.
@rsa101 (37952)
• Philippines
16 Jun 08
Thanks baleleng! I just happen to have a mother that is so loving and is suffering from a disease we could not cure. I could not do anything anymore about it but to love her as much as I could. That is why when I read yours I cannot but express my feeling for your mother. Love every moment that you have with yours because you'll never know until when they can stay with us.
• United States
16 Jun 08
Thank you soooooo much rsa with your wonderful comment.Really I was touch when I read it.I don't know why but my tears roll by while I was reading all your comment.Thanx a lot....I guess I was just upset,but yes you're right we can't hate our mom no matter what...
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Jun 08
Thanx a lot rsa for lighten up my day and for mking me smile.
@n30wing (4767)
• Philippines
14 Jun 08
Were not perfect were just human like our mothers... they also get mad feeling bad and they commit mistakes.... No matter we feel bad and how many times they say sorry there will always be there... if not with our mother we wont be here in this world... we still owe our life to our mother's.. Patience is a virtue! getting mad is natural feelings emotions... if we can forgive our friends this is our one and only mother in this world! I can't blame you to feel bad but she is still your mom! Have a nice day!
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Jun 08
Thanx for your wonderful comment n30wing.You're right that we have one mother only in this world...
1 person likes this
@shorty08322 (1270)
• United States
7 Jul 08
yea if she did something you dont like yea but out of that no
1 person likes this
@cjgrooms (4456)
• United States
14 Jun 08
As for having the right to hate her, only you can decide that, because your feelings ARE your feelings. I know i wouldn't trust her (i have trust issues)but i don't think i would hate her. Having said that let me say this I HATE BEING PLAYED FOR A SUCKER and in general people only get one chance to do it!
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Jun 08
Me too cjgrooms.I hate being played for a sucker thanx for dropping by!
1 person likes this
@Jhordie (5115)
• Philippines
15 Jun 08
Whatever happens... THEY ARE STILL OUR MOTHER!!! nothing can change that fact. Remember that God taught us to LOVE OUR PARENTS and those who speak evil to them will be condemned. So my answwer would be... We do have the right to feel bad whenever they make some faults but we do not have the rights to hate them for they are still our MOM whom God made as His instrument to mold us what we are today. If God can forgive who are we not to forgive?! Are we faultless? For sure no one will say yes, then again i hope... Pls forgive her. and do tell her that you are hurt and pray that you'll never experience that anymore especially with your mom. By the way, have you asked her what made her do that? Maybe, she is just afraid to tell you their problem and just need your assurance for them not to be shy telling the real story behind.
• United States
16 Jun 08
awwwwwwww!That is sooooooooo nice of you jhordie.I was flatterd of what you say.I know it will work out for me and my mom someday,but so far we need a lil space but it doesn't mean I will not keep in touch with her anymore.
• United States
16 Jun 08
Oh.Thats nice words from you jhordie.Thanx a lot.Maybe you're right that she is shy only to tell the truth thats why she lied to me.I am a tyoe of person anywya that easy to forgive.Thanx for dropping by!
@Jhordie (5115)
• Philippines
16 Jun 08
I never thought that you'll appreciate my response... IT ONLY MEANS THAT YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON INSIDE AND OUT!!! Thank you so much for respecting my opinion. It means so much for me. And I am so sorry for the heartaches you've experince from your mom. Hope all will work out someday. I do pray for that.
• United States
14 Jun 08
I have to disagree with the other folks. I hate my mother, and I have very good reasons to. If she is just bringing you down too much, you just have to cut ties with her. Don't give in to what it is that she wants. If you want to talk more about this I will add you as a friend and we can talk(don't want to air that whole situation here).
• United States
14 Jun 08
Thanx latoyahall.Anyway I respect your opinion that you don't want to air that whole situation here.Thanx for dropping by.
• United States
14 Jun 08
oh...im sooooooooooo sorry to hear about your brother in law kaleegirl.That is really sad....sighhh.I guess some mother they don't know how to love their own children.
1 person likes this
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
22 Jun 08
I actually have the same problem and it had hurt like hell when I found out. I felt soo betrayed. But blood runs thicker than water. It's been a month since I haven't spoken to my mom. It will take some time. I don't hate her. I just hate what she did. One cannot fully say they hate their own mother ya know.
• United States
26 Jun 08
Im sorry to heard about that jolie that your mom not even say sorry....sigh...Anyway forgive and forget is the best way,right?
• United States
23 Jun 08
Your right jolie....blood is thicker than water.My mom did not txt me anymore like she used to do.Maybe she realized what she did,but just like you I did not totally hate her.I only hate what she did.
• Philippines
24 Jun 08
The thing that hurt also was I've never even heard a sorry from her. The first time I found I tried to call her but my call was rejected three times.
• United States
15 Jun 08
Parents and mothers are people. Like all people, there are some gems. Then there are some rotten apples. If you have a rotten apple who happens to be your mother, you should separate yourself in order to hold on to your person-hood because hate simply eats you alive. * If separation is not geographically possible, or some other reason causes it to be difficult, set tight boundaries so she cannot hurt you with her behavior.
• United States
16 Jun 08
Your very welcome.
• United States
16 Jun 08
Thank you crafty for your nice comment.I appreciated it.
1 person likes this
@pinkista (892)
• Philippines
28 Jun 08
For me, we shouldn't hate our Mother. We, as her daughter is obliged to help her with her needs also. She gave her life and took sacrifice for the sake of us. No matter what happen, she's still your mother and they should be treated in a nice way. Hate is a sin. WE MUST LOVE OUR PARENTS it's clearly stated in the Ten Commandments. Just be patient, pray to God that your Mother change that kind of attitude.
@pinkista (892)
• Philippines
30 Jun 08
Haha...thank you dear. No problem.
• United States
30 Jun 08
awwww...I was touch with your comment pinkista.Thanx a lot to your wonderful comment.
@chrissieatu (1033)
• China
14 Jun 08
Hey baleleng. I don't know what I will feel if my mom do that to me. But she probably will not. That's not her anyway. I guess I can't never really hate my mom even though I have already had a lot of problem with my mom in my opinion. If my mom keep doing that one day, I will just tell her to ask me directly. I am her daughter. I can't never pay her back what she has devoted to raise me. Now she needs that money, I will do what I can to help.
• China
16 Jun 08
My mom is kind of straight forward person. And she's quite used to solve the problem by her own. I learn that from her. But I am not a direct girl.
• United States
16 Jun 08
Thats good to know chrisseatu that your mom didnt do that to you.Well im so proud of your mom!
1 person likes this
@jerrly (74)
• China
14 Jun 08
I don't think you really hate your mom, I guess you are just angry with the situation. I understand how you feel about your mom but I believe in every problem there is a solution... If my mom lied to me I'm going to talk her and tell her how I feel. But honestly speaking, my mom is a wonderful mother! She's very responsible and always take good care of us. That is why I missed her a lot... Take care baleleng2008.
• United States
16 Jun 08
Your right jerryly that I don't really hate my mom.Im just angry but I always forgive her no matter what.Thank you for you wonderful comment.Have a good one!
@jerrly (74)
• China
16 Jun 08
I'm glad to hear that you don't hate your mom. We need to remember that our "moms" are not "perfect moms". They also make mistakes just like us. :) Take care and GBU!
• India
23 Jun 08
i think you do not have a right to do so. if your financial condition is not too tight and you are not under stringent conditions, then you should give your mother what she wants. do not interfere how she spends or on what ground she has asked the money for. and yes, mother is a very elite term. you never even think about forgiving her. she is too superior to be forgiven. ask for her blessings. did she ever hate you when you did vomit at the wrong place or urinated at the wrong spot? come on , tell me. of course, it is a big negation, i know that. so be dutiful and if in financial constraints, explain your problems calmly and tell her about her problems calmly. sorry buddy, i was too harsh with you. very sorry.
• United States
30 Jun 08
oh no,no,no!You're not harsh to me bcoz I definitely not hate to my mom.This is just a questions only and you jump right away into conclusions...lol!But yes we really don;t have a right to hate our mother bcoz we only have one mother in this world.But it doesnt mean its okay for me that my own family lied to me bcoz im not picking the money here,I work my as* with it!
• India
30 Jun 08
extremely guilty for unnecessarily howling at you. i could never just estimate that it was only a question. sorry once again. happy my lotting and enjoy.
@msedge (4011)
• United States
30 Jun 08
No matter what she is it can never change the fact that she is your mother.There was a point in my life that i got upset with my mom and we had exchanged hurtful words but inspite of that i never hate her.I always think that she raised me and i know she loves me.Sometimes we have to lie for a reason.It may be good or bad reason.I know you are old enough to think what is right but don't hate your mom.Just do something that would learn her a lesson.I know you still love her,theres just something she did that made you mad.Lets say, don't send her money for awhile just for her to learn from her mistake.But the love for her still remains.
• United States
2 Jul 08
Thanx a lot msedge for your nice comment.Yes you are right..I still love my mom no matter what..
@msedge (4011)
• United States
15 Jul 08
Your welcome