Do you "bribe" your children to get good grades?
By kbkbooks
@kbkbooks (7022)
Canada
June 14, 2008 5:16pm CST
Sometimes you hear kids say, "My parents promised to buy me a {pet, car, toy, candybar, trip...you fill in the blank} if I get at least a B average on my report card." Do you bribe your kids to get good grades? Do you think it is a good thing to do? I have never bribed my kids for grades, or for anything else that I can think of. I think it is better to let the kids work at it on their own initiative, and then feel like they really did something. I have celebrated good report cards with dessert, or a special meal or outing. I think this is a better way to do things. Good work deserves recognition, but I don't think a bribe should be a reason for success. I think it would probably encourage the kids to "study just for the test" as it were. You know, when they study so they know the answers when needed but forget them as soon as the test is over. Isn't it better to work for good grades and really know what is learned?
9 responses
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
16 Jun 08
You're so right!
Bribes don't work.
A child who learns for
the sake of learning and love
of knowledge will benefit more
than one who simply does it
for a dollar!
Be well.
Have a blessed day.
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7022)
• Canada
16 Jun 08
Thanks for the great response...right to the point. I think it's true that when we study just to pass, we don't get much out of it. I know that because I was like that. I was lucky in school because I usually got good grades without even studying. I just listened and took good notes. But when I got to college, that lack of "learning" how to study really handicapped me. I quickly lost my good grades and everything was more difficult because I didn't learn for the sake of learning and knowledge like you say. I only learned to pass, but I didn't really learn how.
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
18 Jun 08
Thank you so much for best response.
Learning and education is one of my passions.
I'm a lifelong learner and hope my
daughter walks in my footsteps.
Good education lays the foundation
for a lifetime of success and happiness!
Be well.
@lorelie78n (145)
• Philippines
15 Jun 08
As a child we were never rewarded for good grades. What motivates us to do well in school are the following:1. My dad talk to us how he struggle just so he could finish school (lawyer at that).......walking miles because he cant afford to ride public transportation.....sometimes going to school in slippers just because he cant afford to buy his shoes......having to swallow his pride to borrow his law books from classmates just so he could study.....having to eat just rice without the viand just because he has no money to buy......
Hearing all this makes us want to do good in school since we are provided for.
2. Relatives who previously studied from the same school and did well (either valedictorian, magna cumm laude and summa cumm laude). So we dont want to be compared.....ego speaking
3. Threats from my dad to transfer us from private to public school if we don't do well.
4. We know the value of education. We have been trained to be disciplined and have control.
@lorelie78n (145)
• Philippines
17 Jun 08
True and I think it really all depends on the children themselves. I think even if there are good examples, they are well provided for, they have the best education.....if the children themselves are lazy or has no ambition, the attempt for good education and grades will only be futile. Since the child has no motivation nor ambition.
@limcyjain (3516)
• India
15 Jun 08
well i do sometimes restrict some things for my children and tell them that they would be given the same if they get a good score. It could be things like going out for a grand holiday tour. This i dont consider as a bribe but an incentive to give that extra push to the children by something for which they find some reason to put in extra work.I dont find anything odd about this. Dont companies offer commissions according to the business generated then why cant we give some extra push to our children after all their heigher ranking is going to benifit them in the long run as they would be able to get admissions in top colleges.
@graceandowen (1637)
•
15 Jun 08
I cant say that i bribe my children to get good grades as they are too young for that at the moment - they are only 2 and 3 years old.
But I do find myself bribing them to behave or to help tidy up there toys etc.
I wouldnt exaclty call it bribery tho lol i would say its more of an encouragement and an incentive to complete a task and to look forward to a reward at the end of it lol :p
@cathyt1557 (173)
• Canada
15 Jun 08
Sometimes bribery is the only way. I had two sons that hated school work so I bribed them. They got better grades. My daughter didn't need to bee bribed as she had good grades, but I rewarded her for her good grades. It's just like being out in the working world. If you do a good job, you are rewarded with a raise and if you slack off, you get fired. I always felt it was the same thing with school. They were rewarded for good grades, but had to answer if they received bad grades.
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7022)
• Canada
15 Jun 08
My stepson had no personal motivation for school work whatsoever and it never mattered what kind of incentives or bribes we offered him. He didn't finish high school and now he is 19, jobless, and having a hard time finding a job even though he lets employers know that he is trying to complete his high school level studies at adult education. Sometimes even bribery doesn't work. The children sometimes need a little experience in life before they realize what they will be missing.
@lyzabelle (1668)
• Philippines
18 Jun 08
That practice is not good. A child must learn
to perform his best with or with out any bribe.
I think parents should emphasize in thier childs
mind that doing good and great in school will
prepare them in obtaining a bright future ahead...
not because you will reward them with toys or any
material things...
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
15 Jun 08
hell no! I tell them they have to get good grades because its a necessity in their lives if they want to go to a good college or university and have a great job..BUT there have been times when we've given them a couple of extra bucks for an absolutely outstandingn report card..
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7022)
• Canada
15 Jun 08
I agree honor report cards deserve recognition, but I don't think it should necessarily be money. I think this sends the wrong message to the kids. We don't always get monetary recognition in life when we succeed. Quite often the recognition is only verbal and often enough the one who should be acknowledging accomplishment just takes it for granted that you know you did a good job. I'm not saying that this kind of taking for granted is right. I'm just saying, that's what real life is like. However, I do think it's really important to acknowledge our children in a positive way in all aspects of their lives.
@optimisticgrl23 (397)
• United States
14 Jun 08
I personally think that it does not matter. The child is only going to perform well if they have self motivation. I was never rewarded for receiving good grades and I made all A's and B's throughout all my years in school. My sister on the other hand is just the opposite and had struggled during high school. My parents have boughten her all kinds of things (like a car!) and paid her for good grades but she is still failing the majority of her classes. It makes me a little bitter because I was not rewarded for my achievements but she gets a car because she is "trying." I think it depends on how much effort the child is willing to put into school work, regardless of the reward they may or may not be getting.
@kbkbooks (7022)
• Canada
14 Jun 08
It's definitely not fair when one child gets rewarded just for "trying" while another is achieving and not getting any sort of reward. What a skewed way of doing things. For sure, children need to be motivated just for the sake of education rather than for what it may gain them in material terms.
