Can you take control over yourself?

@gxnfly (1147)
China
June 14, 2008 11:59pm CST
Life is filled with situations that make you want to lose your temper. Can you control yourself when you're about to have a tantrum ? We all know that angry outbursts are negatively affecting our relationships with family, friends, co-workers and even complete strangers.So the problem is how can we change the way you express anger? I was told a tip, that when you feel like you are about to blow up, count 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and then decide how you will act. Have you ever tried this tip?Do you have some method has definitely helped? It's really uneasy for me to control my temper.It no big deal when I work at home.Now that I just got a job,it's really a big deal.I had a little dispute with another coworker,I was upset when raised her voice,so I just got her back.Now I wish I never had done that.
4 people like this
23 responses
• United States
15 Jun 08
Just because I have a hair trigger temper doesn't mean I have tantrums. In fact i find that I think clearer when I am angry than when I am not.I can't control what others do. And I can't promise it won;t make me angry. But I don't go and do something in a rage. It is always well planned, proper revenge. And most of the time, doing absolutely nothing is the best revenge I find.And as long as the proper revenge is executed, then I am fine.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Jun 08
Thanks for the best response.
@monaliu (344)
16 Jun 08
such as you I aways lose my temper . it is also my problem. give you one suggestion:you can write what's you want to do dowm and pack it in your bag.You can do it if you also want to do after one day! let it to be you habit,everything will be ok easily!
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
16 Jun 08
I have tried to control my anger or bad temper. First of all, i tried to be aware what happen in my heart beat. For example, when somebody told me that i am lazy, i knew that at this time i felt uncomfortable. So, i ask why i am so uncomfortable because of that. They key is being aware.
1 person likes this
@littleowl (7157)
15 Jun 08
Hi gxnfly temper is a funny thing my temper used to be really short specially when I was married for the first time but my ex used to let me blow my top then after he 'd say can I have my say know? That made me even worse cos he never argued with me!! But it taught me to take things as it comes and now it takes a lot to make me lose my temper but when I do BEWARE cos I'm not nice-yet the method of counting or walking away from the situation is a good idea and could well help-your friend littleowl
1 person likes this
@checapricorn (16049)
• United States
15 Jun 08
LOL! I have tried that a lot gxnfly, and sometimes I will just turn my back and will imitate my co-worker's face..LOL! It will relieved me for a while but I remember before when I think and believe I have the reason to defend my self, I raise my voice to my boss and after I was able to say what I want her to hear, I walk out from her office Make me feel good!LOL!
1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
15 Jun 08
It's hard to control oneself while they are about to flare up.. Normally wat i do, is to turn away for awhile, put myself in their shoes and i will clam down abit.. If not, i will just stare into empty space, pretending that i'm listening to their ranting, but instead, my min will be juts in a blank.. SO in order to to disperse the flame inside of me, i will go for my runs after i'm done with everything and jhave time for myself.. Always control while u can, as one tend to do the wrong things when we get heated up..
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
16 Jun 08
I'm already a member there.. U are too late.. haha
@subha12 (18449)
• India
30 Jul 08
yes i can take control over myself many times. it is a gift for me. i may be verry angry at times. but then i do not show it and control this myself.
@coffeeshot (3785)
• Australia
30 Jul 08
Unfortunately, I find it difficult to suppress my outbursts. They don't happen very often but when they do I am scary. My mother is Sicilian, I think I get the firry temper from there. Other than that, I'm pretty chilled out most of the time. i do think that some people lose their temper way too easily and this can cause serious problems among families.
@julyteen (13256)
• Davao, Philippines
30 Jul 08
if you allow too much temper it will turn to destruction. i admit sometimes i can't resist my temper and almost got in trouble when my feeling back to normal i ask apologized to the one i am shouting off. Lately, i observed i am mature enough, i can now control myself because i need to do so to avoid trouble.
@jer31558 (3683)
• United States
18 Jun 08
I generally have little problem holding my temper. It takes a good bit to get me angry. When I do get angry though I am not so mild mannered. I would never hit anyone, but I don't mind raising my voice.
• United States
16 Jun 08
I keep my temper and anger in check for my family's sake. My child does not understand anger or crying, so I try to control myself in front of her. I do have deep feelings and express them online at my blog or MyLot. Having a creative outlet helps me to keep myself and my emotions in check.
• Philippines
16 Jun 08
i actually been having a hard time controlling my temper oftentimes. i find it so difficult especially when i really feel so much anger that i feel i just wanna blow up in madness! and i do sometimes also feel regretful of the things iv done after. but i can honestly say that after giving it a blow, i felt relived. so much relived. but i worry doing it usually i really don't intend to be so rude to people so maybe i will try your tip. i hope it will work for me.
• United States
16 Jun 08
I have a difficult time with anger.For me I let many thing build up before I blow.At home I have been to through a thing or two.I have managed to pass this down to my daughter without even realizing it.Today she got angry with me over something and was yelling and slamming things around.I put my headphones on and that further infuriated her.She came in my parlor and through my fan breaking it,and knocks my books and cds' all over the place.At this point I got angry right back and went in her room and knocked some of her things down,and said there hows' it feel.She has done this to me many times and I have tried to ignore it,because I blame myself for her anger.Today I had had enough of her breaking my things.I know this is not the proper way to deal with anger,I guess I don't have the answer either. Jas
• India
16 Jun 08
i always taken my frequent angry outburst for granted i would be an angry peron too but now i recogniozed that my anger was seperating me from every thing but i controlled it by watching people loosing there temper screaming on some one yelling for some thing and i felt that how bad they look when they lost there cool I had an oppurtunity tyo examine my own vision of life as well as the belifs and attitudes underlying my depression and anger i tried to develop an inner calmness and insight to deal with these situations in an appropriate way The decision has transforemed my entire life.Today i am happy optimistic confident about my future
@naseeha (1383)
• India
15 Jun 08
I try to control my temper by keeping my mouth shut but i do not always succeed. Sometimes i just blast off and then wish I had shut up.
• Philippines
15 Jun 08
Sometimes it is indeed trying when our temper is tested to the limits. Especially when it comes from people who aren't family. I've had my moments of outbursts in the past with my people at work.These were usually those related to the job.Long years in the administrative world has taught me a lot on patience and had me face plenty of people with different personalities along the way.It taught me to be less reactive and focus more on processing in my mind a hundred times what i will say and how i will react to the problem presented before i let myself loose.Most times,putting it off for the morrow, usually helps.This is especially after i give myself a good night's sleep and a cold shower.It taught me to believe on "breathing space"--in every essence of the word.This definitely gives me the time to think things over before i say my piece.It makes me become more calm and more relaxed when its time to confront or talk with the person.It is effective for me.I get to choose my words carefully and say my piece with more clarity and get my message thru without hurting the other persons feelings.For me,Its better that way than reacting right away and lashing out with angry words or sour comments , which i know would'nt make me feel any good after.
• Malaysia
15 Jun 08
Angry felling is really hard to control. When angry come to me just try the thing to cool down your angry feeling, you known shut the mouth off..and avoid anything that can hurt your hand and leg.
• Philippines
15 Jun 08
just like you, i also count from one to ten just to release the tension.
@anex08 (868)
• Philippines
15 Jun 08
Sometimes, we cannot avoid to control and hold back our temper but we always have the reason not to. But, taking a deep breath would really help to lossen up and cool down. It is always my practice when tempted to burst out, I give myself a few minutes to deeply breath in and out for 20 times until I can slowly feel my system starting to cool down. Always remember friend, when we are angry, we cannot control ourselves that will make us appear unreasonable. Try to have a little talk to smooth things out. If your co-worker refuses too, then let it be and dont mind her at all.
@dragon54u (31627)
• United States
15 Jun 08
You should tell her you're sorry. It will save you from trouble in the future. She shouldn't have raised her voice, but if you apologize first she will probably return the apology and not raise her voice again. I don't have a problem with my temper anymore, I'm so used to controlling it during my childrens' childhood that I still don't get mad easily.