How would you feel if you lost your kids?...

... -  My kids are my life picture for my post about parenting.
United States
June 16, 2008 8:38am CST
I have a friend,who husband and her agreed to let the granparents take their 2 kids for a few months. well a few months is now almost a year. and before i knew her they had the one child for 7 months. so for about 1 year out of his life they have actually had them. Now I just dont understand why it is they dont have their kids, he works makes 10 an hour, and she doesnt nothing but stay at home during the day. she tells me and tells me BUT my gosh i cant even IMAGINE my kid being away from me. i dont understand how people can not have their children and be okay with it.. How would you feel if you didnt have your kids?.
2 people like this
18 responses
• United States
16 Jun 08
all i have to say is that I WOULDN'T be away from my kids that long!!!!! That is absolutely absurd for this to be going on! I go insane when my kids spend ONE night at 'nana & papa's' house. I couldn't even begin to fathom that long! Sounds like they don't deserve their kids if they are not concerned about it!
2 people like this
• United States
23 Jun 08
Well its not that they dont care, they do. I think the husband has gotten use to not having the kids around. wich i cant really say for a fact that ishow he feels i dont talk to him about their kids. but the wife we always talk. the first time she told me. they were getting their kids back soon as soon as they get there maariage together.. i can see now they are never ganna get their marriage together. ive seen first hand. ao.i just dont see why. she doesnt fight for her kids back.. if she has to leave the marriage. then dont waste time do it and get ur kids. thats what i tell her. but she just says i know. ans i think everything goes in one ear and out the other... but i dont know.
• United States
16 Jun 08
I don't have any kids. But I could imagine how a parent would feel. I would feel like there's nothing left.
2 people like this
• United States
23 Jun 08
I know right.. thats exsactly how i would feel im sure.. thanks!
@Amberina (1541)
• United States
16 Jun 08
When I was a young mother I let my two older kids stay with my mom and my grandma it was for almost a year but after that I grew up and wanted them back and I have had them ever since. I just needed to sow some wild oats I was a mother at 17 yrs of age and I really wasn't grown up enough to take care of two little one's. So my family helped out for awhile. The kids don't remember being there that long I was always around and I seen them pretty much everyday. Today my two oldest one's are grown and they have their own lives and I miss them when they are gone I enjoy seeing them sometimes I wish they where little again just so I could do fun things with them but that won't ever happen I guess thats when Grand Parenting gets to be fun, spoil them and send them home
2 people like this
@beth214 (68)
• China
16 Jun 08
now i am still a young girl.but as a daughter, i know my parents love me very much .if they lost me ,they would like lose everything.so i think children are parents` everything.
2 people like this
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
16 Jun 08
I have a daughter who I do not have custody of and don't get to see very often. The feeling is like your heart being torn out and dragged across that distance. I hate not being able to see MY baby grow. Our over the phone relationship is definently not enough for me. There are so many things I have missed out on that I will never get back. I missed my babies first steps. Her first words. It is awful. I really cannot express how bad this feels in words. It is not good. I am NOT okay with it.
2 people like this
@sharay (2775)
• India
16 Jun 08
Oh..God, that can never happen in my life, i am so very careful when it comes to my daughter, i just keep her in my eyes...i wud just not be alive if anything like that happens (i was even afraid to write that sentence)
2 people like this
@Liasonfan (1702)
• Canada
18 Jun 08
I couldn't imagine being apart from my kids for that long when they were younger, either. When my younger daughter was in grade 8, we moved (still in the same city though) at the end of September. Because we were moving out of the school district though, they were going to make her change schools. She was very upset, because she had been going to that same school since junior kindergarten. So my inlaws let her live with them until the end of the school year. She came home on week-ends though. It was very strange not having her in our house every day. I could never have left my kids especially when they were younger, in the care of anyone else for longer than a holiday. Even grandparents.
• United States
23 Jun 08
Yea, i would totaly hate changing schools id i had been going for that long!. thats cool that she could stay awhile with yor in laws. i bet she was happy!:)... thanks for your responce:)
@chari_dc (493)
• Philippines
17 Jun 08
i cannot stand even one night that my kids are not with me, in our house. there are times my parents "borrow" them for one night to sleep over and i let them, but i feel something's lacking when they're away like that. once, they went on vacation for 3 days with my parents in baguio (that's 6 hours away from where i live) and i missed my kid terribly. my husband feels the same way too. sometimes, we talk about how we'll get through their teenage years coz now, our two kids are below 6yrs old.
• United States
23 Jun 08
Hahaha me to i am always thinking about when my one is a teenager.and what i would do and how i would handle things.:P its better to be prepared for the worst and expect the best..
• Canada
16 Jun 08
I could not imagin it. My son is almost 3 and I have never really spent any time away from him. I don't even think I could do a week-end yet. LOL
@krissy32 (205)
• United States
16 Jun 08
I hear you there. I could not imagine life without my own two. They are 10 and 8 now, but they never spent a night away from home until they were at least 4 or 5, at least this was the case with my oldest, my youngest did not want to until she was 6 1/2 and that was only for one night with my mom and since she lived close enough to us, it was ok even though i called every few hours to check on them. Obscene, but the house was so darn quiet I couldn't stand it. I could never leave either of them for such a long time. No way, I would go out of my head with worrying about every possible thing that could go wrong.
@Vankis (30)
• Portugal
17 Jun 08
I agree with you. I dont understand how this can happen. If it is my kids i don't let them to be away from me so many time.
1 person likes this
@DreBoi (79)
• United States
17 Jun 08
I don't have a kid but I know if I did I don't think I could ever forgive myself for letting something like that happen to me.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164221)
• Garden Grove, California
17 Jun 08
I cannot even begin to imagine my letting anyone have my kids ever. and I never did either. we visted but we never let my mom have our kids. they were our kids, our hearts blood, and we loved them and nutured them.I would have felt just awful had my children been with someone else like that. no way.
@SwtJenlove (1090)
• United States
16 Jun 08
I couldnt even imagine how i would feel if something ever happened to my kids. I would feel empty i know that because each one of them fill a special place in my heart and if something happened to them that space would be empty because they werent there.
1 person likes this
• Canada
16 Jun 08
I Would DIE without my kids. When I was a single mom, I had to move to a new city to finnish my degree, and I had to leave them with my mom until I got set up. and until my son was done his term of grade one. This was about 2 months and it was the most difficult time I ever had. I miss my kids so much when they are gone from me, I can hardly wait until they get back home to me safe and sound again. I don't know what some people think, but unless it were really in the childs best intrest, I would fight tooth and nail to have my kids with me at all costs. I can not imagine that there are people out there that don't accept having kids as a great privilage in life. If they don't want kids, they should be able to get fixed so they don't have any!!!
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22936)
• United States
16 Jun 08
I have known a couple ppl over the yrs who've sent their kids to live with others...On in particular sent one child to the Islands for a yr and the other was living in the Northwest Territories for a long time too...I PERSONALLY wouldn't do it "just cause" or for no good reason...I DID have to for ONE MONTH (3 weeks to be exact) becuase I'd gotten evicted and having my kids live in a hotel just wasnt an option for me but other than that time which was in the best interest for them (and me so I could work double shifts) I'd never dream of it....I've always been the type of mom who hates her kids being gone for a weekend nevermind LIVING somewhere else....
1 person likes this
@bontheka (65)
• Hong Kong
16 Jun 08
My older brother and his wife both work. She's a flight attendant so sometimes she's got a stretch of days off, then other times, she's away on work for up to 2 weeks. They've got two daughters. The elder girl will be 5 in September and the younger one will be 2 in November. My brother lives and works in Malaysia's capital, which is a 5 hour drive from both my parents' place and his mother-in-law's place. Since her birth, the eldest girl has been shuttling back and forth between the grandparents' although she's now mostly at her maternal grandma's house and she's going to a local kindergarten. The younger one has also been with that grandma since birth. My brother comes back to see his kids at least once a fortnight. My sis-in-law also visits the girls whenever she's got the time off. I feel so sorry for the girls as till now, they've never spend any significant amount of time at their parents' place, not to mention that the parents are not there all the time to watch the girls grow up. Maternal grandma complained that the girls are a handful, so my brother got her a domestic helper to help out. Unfortunately, the maid tells us that grandma spends most of her time watching soap operas leaving the maid to do housework as well as care for the children. The 5 year old is not even potty trained for a number 2! She's an intelligent child but because the parents are not around, there's no one around to enforce discipline. She still drinks from a bottle although she also knows how to use a cup. My mum tries to remove some of the bad habits when she comes to visit but the problem is when she goes back, other grandma is not bothered and lets everything slide. By the way, the in-laws don't get on. Before the younger girl was born, my parents tried looking after the older girl, but my mum's not a very healthy person, and she found it difficult to look after her. Of course, my sis-in-law prefers to have the girls at her mum's so she can visit them and her mum at the same time. My husband thinks the girls are going to have some psychological problems in the future. If you're wondering why my brother and his wife don't want to take the girls' back to their home and have the maid look after, it's because he's so afraid of them being abused by the maid when he and his wife are away at work. I've met the maid and I don't think she will do that. She's got a child, that she's left behind in Indonesia with her family, who is the same age as the older girl, and of course she misses her son a great deal. In any case, it's my niece who sometimes 'abuses' the maid!
1 person likes this
@lvnstn (35)
• United States
16 Jun 08
i cant imagine letting them go theat long. i could use a break domtimes but it would be shoort lived because im a stay at mother and its just drives me incsane when my kids arent here. i know someone also that used to pawn her kids off to her mother and i mean for long long times then shed want them bacj like they were never gone. and the mother would let her,,,that is so wrong those kids deserved stability
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Jun 08
I could not imagine letting my children go live with any one else. I have let my kids go stay a week some where once or twice in their life times and missed them terribly. I have even been on a romantic vacation with my hubby and still missed the kids so much I had to call them. I could not leave my children in some one elses care long term. I don't understand how any parent can walk away from their kids like that. Even having them on weekends or phone calls would not be enough for me. They are the reason I am alive and my life would be so very empty without them in it to make me laugh and smile.
1 person likes this