People who advise on parenting, but have no kids of their own.

United States
June 16, 2008 1:11pm CST
I have a friend who is neither married nor does he have kids. However, he does seem to be free with advice on how I should be with my wife or how I should raise my daughter. I find this excessively annoying. Have you every been particularly irritated with those-of-no-experience trying to give advice?
1 person likes this
6 responses
• United States
18 Jun 08
Thank you so much for turning this issue into a discussion. I'm often frustrated at my own parenting discussions with other people who don't mind giving me their "honest" opinion on how I should treat my child, when they are self-confessed singles, who never plan to have children. These people couldn't possibly understand what it's like to deal with tantrums and toddlers or defiant four year olds with a mind of their own. It's frustrating trying to deal with people who claim such amazing parenting knowledge without having earned it from real life experience. Most of my best parenting advice comes directly from on the job training. I read all the parenting advice books and watched hundreds of parenting how-to videos, but nothing but real life experience could have prepared me for the job of being a mom. And I'm sure the same would be true for a dad, too. You don't know until you have been there. Before I had a baby, I would look at the way other people were dealing with their kids and wonder why they couldn't make their kids stop acting up and getting into everything at the Walmart. Now, I'm the frustrated mom running around after a four year old who won't listen. It's at times like that, that I pull out my trusty supply of Dora the Explorer stickers and start making deals! Thanks for the enlightening topic. It's nice to hear that other parents share the same frustrations with non-parents and their "advice"! Be well.
• United States
8 Jul 08
I can certainly hear you. More than a time or two, I've commented to other parents who seem embarrassed by their child's behavior, "I have a child, too. I know how they are." Or something similar... :) Thanks for reading.
@sweetyethot (1738)
• China
24 Aug 08
i give comments when asked. im single and have no kids.i know something about parenting from books, tv,magazines, ect,and also others'experience.i think you shouldnt get irritated,just hear him out,and analyze what he says.if there is something new and right, take it;but if all that he says are cliche,stop him before he give advice next time.hehe,happy everyday
@secretbear (19460)
• Philippines
24 Aug 08
hi daddyoftherose! i'm kinda like your friend. i am not married and i don't have any kids. but i give advices to my friends who are married and with kids. but even if i give advices, i still don't sound as if i know everything there is to know about marriage and parenting. i mean, i know i am not experienced and the advices i give are general ideas, usually the ideal thing to do which one can think of using common sense, and the usual things marriage couples and parents do which i see on tv, movies, i read on magazines, stories based on true lives, etcetera. and i don't tell my friends that it is the best thing to do like they should follow it. i don't know if some of them finds it annoying, but my close friends don't. i also give advices to married people and parents here in myLot and i hope i didn't annoy them or something.
@ersmommy1 (12595)
• United States
17 Jun 08
I have a friend like that. And annoying doesn't begin to describe it. This friend for aslong as I have known him has never been able to sustain a relationship for even a year. But yet feels free to hand out advice to my hubby and I who have been together 13+ years. More than 1/2of that time married. Makes me want to scream "turn your advice on yourself". One day I just might.
@sk66rc (4257)
• United States
17 Jun 08
I do understand where you're comming from... Just hear him out... I know it's annoying... Some times it doesn't take greatest gourmet cook to know when the food doesn't taste right... Some times people say, "pair of fresh eyes" or "fresh Ideas" or "too close to the situation to see it clearly"... Granted that he may not know all sides of the stories, in his doing so, he probably meant well & in the mist of his ignorant ranting he might say something that you might find helpful... How's that saying go? "Give a monkey a typewritter & in long enough time, it might just type a word"... I have a daughter of my own & I do try to listen to people with no kids... It might be rare but some fresh ideas did help...
@praveenjena (1304)
• India
16 Jun 08
hello daddy of the rose, well there are a lot of people who like to give comments and advices on matters where they have no experience of their own. well among them we too are included. haven't we ever commented on a football match and have scolded players on the basis of performance. while we would not have played that ever. i think you shouldn't hear him much. and if you hear you should not care much as when you comment on matches and politics the politicians and the footballers never care. well here you may be the second person...... but still you must treat yourself in a way that you are not concerned so all will fall in line. and have a good day.... and no harm intended!!