He won't show that he cares.

United States
June 17, 2008 5:30pm CST
I am at the end of my rope, here. I have been dating the same guy for four years and the past year we've been having some problems. He can be a real jerk and he can be mean and then he says he doesn't know he was being a jerk and he's sorry. He doesn't treat me like his girlfriend, he treats me like his buddy. And he won't show me that he cares. I've broken up with him at least six times in the past three weeks because he won't show he cares and he keeps saing he'll try and I give him another chance. The thing is, it's not hard to show you care about someone. At least not to me. And the kicker is, I keep telling him things he could do to show it or I keep giving him opportunities to do it but he just lets them pass right by. I feel like I've done everything I possibly can and I don't know what else to do but break up but I really don't want to. Is there anything else I could do or tell him? Are there any other things I could do or say something to get his act together? Honestly, I feel like I've been trying my best for the past four years and now it's up to him and it seems like he just doesn't want to try but he doesn't want to break up either. Please, any help is greatly appreciated. Thanks.
3 responses
@baileycows (3668)
• United States
25 Jun 08
I can understand what you mean. But in my opinion unless you stand your ground he is going to keep doing it to you. Why dont you tell him to go figure whatever it is that he needs to figure out and give him space. If he moves on he didn't want you anyway.
@risris24 (712)
• United States
17 Jun 08
Honestly i am going through a similar situation except we have been together fo r6 years and it isnt that he doesnt show he doesnt care if anything it is that he does which is all the more confusingabout our situation. But enough about me, lets handle your situation. I know yo love him and you dont want to break up, believe me I know, but you are right it doesn't take much effort to show you care, and if it was a new topic that you only discussed with him for the 1st time, I woul dtell you to give him the benefit of the doubt an dstay with him, but since you broke up with him so many times after speaking to him several times about it then I think you should leave him for good, show him that you dont care and let him see how it feels. Give him a taste of his own medicine. If it is meant to be then he will come back to you and if not then move and and learn a lesson from it. I know it is easier said than done believe me i do but like I said I am going through it right now and it isnt worth it. Be strong, you will be fine, I promise!
@spalladino (17922)
• United States
17 Jun 08
You can't turn a mule into a stallion and you can't change any person. Your boyfriend knows what you want, it's not that he doesn't understand what you've been saying to him. He's either not comfortable showing that he cares or he's not willing to put forth the effort. So, you really have only two choices; either accept him as he is or break up with him because there are no magic words that will make him change.