Family you never knew you had!!!!!!!!!!!!!

United States
June 17, 2008 11:39pm CST
I am 33 years and just fining out I have two sisters I never knew about.By a stranger. I have one brother that I am five days older then. which by that statement you can imagine what my dad was up to. This lady came up to me at work to day and asked me who my dad was. I told her and she said that she was my sister! I said I do not think so! I would know if I had a sister. She then told me all the details of her mother and my dad. Which I was left thinking my dad was a cheating jerk because my mom and him were married then. I was so dumb founded and did not know what to say. I sat there looking at her thinking does she look like me....Does she look like my dad? I came home and now I do not know what to do! There was never any dna test so I really do not know for sure if she is my sister. My dad was a dead beat dad so she can try to have a realationship all she wants with him. I have not spoken to him in 15yrs and really do not want to hear about him. My question now is do I try and make a realationship with this woman? If it does not work out it would hurt myself and my kids. Ive lived this long without her. I thnk Im still shock. What would you think?
5 people like this
11 responses
@momalisa65 (1983)
• United States
18 Jun 08
Oh wow! That would be weird. I recently found my birthmother and found out who my father was too. I contacted his sister-in-law and she gave me the names of his other children he had with 2 other wives. The one wife he had at the time that my birthmother was his girlfriend! When I expressed my desire to find my half brothers and sisters, my father's sister-in-law contacted the first wife of my birthfather. She was the one who was married to him when I was born! She said she did not want her son to meet me. He actually hadn't spoke to his father for years and disliked him very much. So I respected that she didn't want her son to know about me. He probably wouldn't have liked me anyway considering the situation. However, there was another whole family that he had with his second wife. I believe there was a girl and two boys. I would really like to meet them someday if I could. In fact, I put a message on a genealogly website asking about them by name. I'm sure if any of them ever read it, their response will probably be similar to yours! Just give yourself some time to think about it. After the shock wears off, go with whatever you feel. It might be nice to get to know her. I've become friends with my birthmother. We live 2 hours apart and only see each other once or twice a year, but we talk on the phone every week or two. So it hasn't changed my life a whole lot. But it's nice to know that I know all the facts now.
2 people like this
• United States
18 Jun 08
Your're 33 and like you said you can live without a new found sister, but there is nothing wrong with making a friend. If you decide to pursue this don't worry about embrassing her as a sister, see if you could even bear her as a friend first. I have a few friends that a like far better than some of my relatives. You Know What I Mean?
• United States
18 Jun 08
Now that the shock has worn off! I think you are right! I should at least try and be Friends with her! It is not her fault. The more I think about it today I think I should get to know her and then if I like her bring the kids into the situation. Thanks for the advice!
1 person likes this
@jerzgirl (8170)
• Gloucester City, New Jersey
18 Jun 08
For me, I would LOVE to find out I had siblings somewhere, even if they were gotten the old-fashioned way (illicit). I'm an only child and I hated it - although I've grown to appreciate it in recent years seeing what siblings can do to one another in the most hateful of ways. It wouldn't surprise me to find that my dad played farmer, planting seeds here and there. He's gone now, so it's too late for it to matter. But, I've been approached throughout my life by people who thought I looked like someone else. So, that thought has occurred to me more than once. If you were burned by your dad, maybe she was, too. Maybe she needs someone to compare notes to - she's not at fault for his actions. He is. Although, her technique of letting you know could have been better.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Jun 08
that was a surprising and shocking thing you'd encounter. Im glad that your supress your emotion and gave her a chance and a benefit of a doubt. Accepting the fact and raises some questions in you're mind. I think you should also pity on her, because she is also a victim in that situation. Although your are a legimate child but, then she its not her fault also. Just give her a chance to show that you came from the same blood.
1 person likes this
• China
18 Jun 08
That's really weird enough,this moment was just appeared on TV but never come out around me,so it's a bit hard for me to understand it and sorry for giving you some useful suggestion. By the way you should think about it carefully and don't fall into a trap.
1 person likes this
• Nepal
18 Jun 08
In my case it didn't happened ever but you can do dna test and emotional thing may work just try that . you can talk and find their interest and then you can find the taste of blood. May be you are of the same blood than you can match you talk and speech.
@patzel88 (3311)
• Philippines
18 Jun 08
thats make shocking for the surprise, but i think you have to open your heart to the truth.
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (23759)
• Philippines
18 Jun 08
Well trying to accept that you have a sister is a start already. I think it is a much better option than ignoring them at all. They are your bloodlines even though its half of it only. These are the things that are events that we are not in control. What we can do is accept things as they are. I do not think that your sister is up to something not good. I guess she is trying her best to connect with anyone that relates to her existence. Acknowledge her and maybe perhaps the past will be healed in time.
@sanell (2113)
• United States
19 Jun 08
yeah I think I would want more proof than that and what made her think to ask you who your dad was or even make a connection that the two of you shared a dad? Did she know who your mom was? and what about this Brother? ANd the other sister? I have an older half sister, I met her at the age of 24-25 and I found out about her at the age of 17. My mom gave her up before marrying my dad, My dad knew about her before I was even born but she looks like my mom, we have some similar mannerisms which is strange, even our kids look a lot a like. I love her and she loves me and she loves my kids and I love her kids, sometimes i wish we were closer but we aren't but we have been friends for the past 11 years now so we know we are family! it is just more on a friend level...we are only 3 years apart too so that is cool for us too. She never thought she would have siblings that close in age to us, She is 3 years old than me, 5 years older than my sister, and then she has two siblings from her bio father's side, but they are just 20 and 16 years of age....so at least a good 18+ years younger.... anyway, it can be a mind boggling thing that is for sure....I would say to give you some time and just let her know that maybe you would not mind knowing more about her and trying to figure out like how she knows you are from the same dad?
@freedomg (1684)
• United States
18 Jun 08
I'm in a similar situation. I'm 31 and just found out I have 2 sisters as well one of which is only 1 month older than my youngest daughter (4 years old). I gave it a chance and my other sister that is 27 and I get along great. I have yet to get a chance to meet the younger one but I talked to her on the phone once and she was very sweet. So I would say give it a chance but take things slow and keep things with the kids for after you feel her out a bit. If it doesn't work out then you can go back to where you were before if it does than you'll get e chance to add something really wonderful to your life.
@kenzie45230 (3560)
• United States
18 Jun 08
Just because someone says she's related to you doesn't make it so. Anyone can say anything. Only you can decide if you want to have a relationship with this woman. Before I'd embrace her as a sister, I think I'd be checking with your father to make sure that part is true. Then, if you want a relationship, fine. If not, that's fine too.