is it okay to clean out your friends list?

United States
June 18, 2008 7:41am CST
I have a bunch of friends that do not respond to any discussions I start. These friends asked me to be their friends and then do not take the time to post a reply to anything I post. Now I understand that not everyone will be able to answer every question I may have but surely they could answer just one once in a while. I don't post very often because I don't want to post a bunch of stupid stuff on here to just try to get a few cents earned. I usually only post things I really would like to know the answer to or need help with. I don't feel like I am asking to much to have friends that really want to make an effort to be well friends. I do have a couple that do take the time out of their day to answer my post and I thank you for it. I did invite a couple of people to be my friends to get info on making money online but I know that was what it was for. My questions are. Is it okay to delete these friends that were only for info? Is it okay to delete these friends who invited me to be their friend for no real known reason? Will they know they got deleted? will they even care? Should I send a note out and let them know I am deleting them? or should this notice and no replies by them be enough to delete them without me feeling guilty?
2 people like this
6 responses
@ch88ss (2270)
• United States
19 Jun 08
Hi, Good post. I surely have the same in my mind. However, I think if they have not responded to any of your post for a long time it probably would not hurt if you delete. They probably don't even know. or maybe they have intention to respond to your post but don't know how to find your post. It took me awhile to realize there is a notify button. Otherwise I used to spend hours looking for discussion to respond too. Which did me no good because I was not making any friends. Now I see there are a few friends that reply to my post. and I love that, and in return I always try to make sure I reply to their post too.
• United States
19 Jun 08
Very good point. I also didn't know about the friends notify button until recently. In fact I think it was just a couple of days ago that I found out I could do that. I also like to try to respond to my friends post as well and thank you so much for responding to mine.
@ch88ss (2270)
• United States
19 Jun 08
wow, I thought I was the only one not knowing about hte notify button. I guess tehre is a lot of members too. I am glad to share my opinion with you and like wise, thank you for posting responses to my post too. So, do you have "notify on" for me ?? LOL haha
• United States
20 Jun 08
of course I have the notify on for you. I have really enjoyed your responses and having you on my friends list. Thanks for being a great friend on my friends list. I hope that I am able in turn to be a great friend to you as well.
@moondancer (7433)
• United States
20 Jun 08
my goodness travi. If you feel the need to delete some people then I think that is your right to do so. I am like you. I don't post much either for me. I only put in things I want to or need a reply on. I don't know if they would know if they were deleted or not. It's up to you if you send them a note or not. I'm not sure if I would or would not. It may be the respectful thing to do. I believe though that this notice, should they read it would be enough. I'm sorry that you feel slighted by some of the people here. I'm sure we all have some on our list that have not replied to anything we put out. I know I have many that do not. Likewise there are others not in my list that do reply to mine. Do as you wish dear, no one should be upset at your reasons for deleteing them. I know it would not offend me if I was one of them.
• United States
20 Jun 08
Thank you for such an awesome reply moondancer. You have made me feel a lot better about my descision. Maybe the best thing for me to do is just turn on my notify button for those who have taken the time to respond to my discussions and leave the others on my list but only respond to theirs if it is something I really have an opinion on. I did notice some of them are no longer active on my list and I did delete them. I would not delete you, you are one of the few who have taken the time to respond to me and I truly appriciate it.
@drannhh (15235)
• United States
22 Jun 08
I should think that could and would delete "friends" who prove themselves utterly uninterested in acting friendly! In fact, I am getting better at just declining some of those folks in the first place. I have started to take a closer look at people's profiles and activity before accepting them. No, I sure would not feel quilty! Those are not friends. But, no, I sure would not send them a note. They do not deserve a note! If they don't even want to read our discussions, why would they want to read a note? They would not care.
• United States
23 Jun 08
You really bring up a good point in the decline department. I always feel bad about hurting someones feelings so I always accept. I need to start checking to see if they have a million friends already and if they even post things I might be interested in answering. So I appreciate that advice as well. I have learned though through posting this that maybe I should not take it so personally but it is hard to when you have no one responds to a discussion not even the friends that are on your list. Thank goodness I finally found some that do take the time to be a true friend and those are for sure keepers. Thank you so much for taking the time to make me feel better about cleaning out the ones that are on my list for whatever reason I don't know. Thanks for the advice as well on looking over their activities and profile.
@cream97 (29163)
• United States
20 Jun 08
Well, this is entirely up to you. If you feel that they have not been active then, I guess so.. Only delete them if you feel that it is necessary.
• United States
21 Jun 08
Thank you I have decided to only delete the ones that are showing no activity for a couple of months. I guess you can't have to many friends on your friends list.
@luvstochat (6914)
• United States
18 Jun 08
I think alot of people have been cleaning thier friends list. If you have friends who are not responding to your posts they will most likely not even notice if you delete them from your friends list so I would delete them without feelign guilty.
• United States
19 Jun 08
Thank you for helping me to not feel bad for cleaning out my list. I bet you are right most of them will not notice.
@ctrymuziklvr (11059)
• United States
18 Jun 08
When I was more active on mylot I "cleaned up" my friends list often since many of them stopped responding. You will find that a lot of people who don't respond aren't even active any more so I see no sense in keeping them on our lists. If you're feeling guilty about it you can always pm them to let them know you are going to delete them and if they are still around they may respond to you if not then don't worry about it.
• United States
18 Jun 08
You bring up a good point that some may not even be active any more. I never thought of that. Thanks for making me feel better about deleting some people on my list.