Are you the eldest or ' the baby' in the family?

Malaysia
June 21, 2008 8:12pm CST
Who do you think bears the most responsibility? I didn't like being the youngest in the family and getting all the pass down toys from other siblings and cousins too. I was certainly the baby but with more responsibility around the house - first to be called to do the house chores and the last to know any good news But now I am glad I have outgrown that. Do you still hold the responsibility? And by being the eldest will be you be the first to leave the home? Thank you for sharing.
9 people like this
64 responses
@hellcowboy (7374)
• United States
22 Jun 08
I am both the eldest and the youngest child in my family because I am an only child,which at times was great because it meant not having to share my stuff with any brothers or sisters,but at other times it sucked,because it was lonely,and I got stuck with all the responsibilities.
2 people like this
• United States
23 Jun 08
Yeah I definately got all the attention whether it was wanted or not,and yeah I can say I was pampered when I was younger,and very protective,and loneliness is a hard thing to get over,your very welcome for the response,and I was more than happy to respond to you, and I hope if I respond to peoples discussions they will respond too mine,have a good day,good luck in your life,and Happy Posting.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
23 Jun 08
Thank you for the wishes and certainly will be my pleasure if I have the privilege to response to your discussions Cheers,
• Malaysia
22 Jun 08
Hie Hellcowboy, I am sure you got all the attentions whether you wanted it or not everywhere you go And I thought being the only child, they are always pampered and too protective but certainly can't rule out the lonely factor. Cheers and thank you for sharing.
2 people like this
@zeroflashx2 (2491)
• Philippines
22 Jun 08
As for who has the most responsibility, it really depends. Families have different orientations and situations (some are living apart, departed, etc). I am the eldest and I'm with my mom and my sister. We're the only ones left together so I may be with them until the end. Our house is kinda big for the 3 of us as we were 8 before in the household. If I marry or my sister, there are still plenty of room around.
• Philippines
22 Jun 08
Thanks as well. Well, sometimes I tend to have down times as well but we are happy. :) Take care!
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
22 Jun 08
You are welcome and family will always be there for you
2 people like this
• Malaysia
22 Jun 08
Hie Zeroflash, I guess it is a common scenario in any household whoever is left becomes the one who bears the responsibility and more so if it's a guy. I can imagine you being the man in the houseand your mom & sister must be very proud of you. Cheers and thank you for sharing.
2 people like this
@jerzgirl (9208)
• United States
22 Jun 08
Geez - I guess I'd have to say I'm both, depending on how you view it. I'm an only child. My mom's sister's kids are 8 and 13 years older than me. My dad's sister's kids are 10 and 12 years younger than me. So, depending on which grandparents you're talking about, I was either the baby or the oldest grandchild. But, with my parents, I was it, the only, the last chance - Mom was almost 39 when I was born and had never been pregnant before despite two marriages. So, with my parents - I was both the eldest AND the baby!
2 people like this
• Malaysia
22 Jun 08
Hie Jerzgirl, you have the advantages from all sidesI guess all would have treated you differently and you have managed many roles. Cheers and thank you for sharing.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
22 Jun 08
I am the oldest out of my sister and me. Yes everything falls on me.. But my youngest sister has everything that I need to have.. Some look down on me, because of this..
2 people like this
• Malaysia
22 Jun 08
Hie Cream, it is common that the eldest bears the heaviest but that is what makes the person more responsible and matured in facing challenges of life. And they are mostly the survivors. I am sorry that you are going through some difficult times now but I am sure things will get better as you are strong and a survivor Best wishes and cheers,
2 people like this
@guybrush (4658)
• Australia
22 Jun 08
I was the eldest of two, and my husband was the eldest of five. We have four children, and the youngest (the only boy) is definitely nowhere near as responsible as his three sisters were at his age. They had left home and were independent by then, but he's still at home at 20 and is hopeless with his finances. I think we all took care of his affairs too much - and now he won't listen to advice about budgeting, etc.
2 people like this
• Malaysia
22 Jun 08
Hie guybrush, I think he will get smart when he start to have bigger dreams in his life and realize he can't depend on you & husband forever. Guess he needs further encouragement and time Best wishes and happy posting!
2 people like this
@mythreya (90)
• India
22 Jun 08
Iam the eldest in my Family.So iam more responsible for everything that goes around in our house.I have a brother and sister who looks upto me for advice in their persoal as well as educational matters.I feel happy to assist them in anyway possible. when u r ready to enjoy responsibility and shoulder then there will be no problem whether u r younger or elder in your family.Yes i will be the first to leave home.I will be happy to support my younger ones financially after i leave my home.
2 people like this
• Malaysia
22 Jun 08
Hie Mythreya, that's good and I am sure you are very responsible & filial to your family. Your family is fortunate and blessed to have you. Best wishes and thank you for sharing
2 people like this
@mizcash (685)
• Canada
23 Jun 08
I am the eldest and I have three younger brothers. the thing is growing up I had no responsibilities, the boys did all the work. They were and still is very over protective,m I like being the only girl
• Malaysia
23 Jun 08
Hie Mizcash, thank you for the response. Aren't you lucky to have brothers like that Cheers and have a good day!
• United States
23 Jun 08
I am the eldest of my mother's four children. It is hard to be the eldest in the family because I have to do everything. My other sister barely does anything so i'm left doing most of the chores. I'll rather do them anyways even though I'm tired because she doesn't even do them right. But I do have to be responsible and so far I have. I graduated from high school and am in college. Whenever I can I help my mother out with money and with the groceries and stuff.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
23 Jun 08
Hie Ayumi, you are indeed a very responsible and caring personand that's wonderful. Best wishes and cheers,
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
22 Jun 08
I'm the eldest in the family and alot of responsibilties do fall on me, including taking care of my family and supporting them.. BUt luckily i'm a guy, i'm not really expected to do houseworks, but i will still helpout when i'm needed.. Other than that, it's actually quite good to be the eldest in the family as i'm the next biggest after my parents and i have the authority.. lol =D
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
22 Jun 08
LOL ^_^ I've only a younger brother.. But i dun order him around to do things, instead he's the one because he's the baby of the family.. lol
• Malaysia
22 Jun 08
Hie Kun, it's nice to be the man around the house...huhI can imagine you ordering your other siblings to do chores for you Anyway I am sure you are a very responsible guy, that's good. Cheers and thank you for sharing.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Jun 08
im the eldest if the three siblings in the family.. but i can consider now myself as the youngest! lol.. my two younger siblings are taller than me.. sometimes i joke around with my little sister that she's not our baby anymore because she's already bigger than me.. i tell her that im the new baby in the family! lol.. she would try to stop me then we'll laugh together..
2 people like this
• Malaysia
22 Jun 08
Hie Baebie...that's cute, you wanting to be the baby. I wish I could trade places with you. I don't have any sisters but two brothersMust be great to have them, to be able to share all those girls stuffs so easily, you are so lucky! Cheers and thank you for sharing.
2 people like this
@ch88ss (2271)
• United States
27 Jun 08
Being the eldest has turn my life into misery day after day. In our culture the eldest sacrifice everything for the younger etc. For example, as the oldest once I knew how to earn money, I was expected to help my siblings pay for college, and also be the primary caretaker of my parents and be responsbile for all the bills at home. Even after the other siblings are out of the house and grown up. So it was never fair to me. When I got married by parents did not pay for my wedding. While working part time as a teen, my parents kept all my money and did not give them to me when I got married. They claim the money went towards raising me. I thought it was their duty raise me, I did not know I had to pay for them to raise me. Well now that my brother baby of the family getting married. My parents is paying for the wedding and when I confronted them. They simply told me I am their eldest and that is just the way it works. I did not pay for my siblings college because I felt it was unfair. I did however paid for a lot of bills for my parents which my brother was never around to help pay. I do feel betrayed because of what has happend.
1 person likes this
@ch88ss (2271)
• United States
28 Jun 08
Hi Desierra, Thank you for your response and kind regards to this matter. I am pretty much upset with my mom and probably will be for a long time. I rather spend my money on my own kids and never ask them to pay me back for raising them. Thank you for posting this discussion.
• Malaysia
30 Jun 08
You are welcome and thank you for the response. Take care and best wishes in your future undertakings
• Malaysia
27 Jun 08
Hie Ch88ss, I am sorry to hear that you have gone through a lot. But I am sure things will get better soon I think traditional orientated families feel very strongly about obligation and duty of the children to the parents. Foremost the firstborn who is a male and is bound to take care of other siblings & the whole household. Best wishes and thank you for sharing.
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
22 Jun 08
I am the eldest in the family. People expect you to be the role model. I never failed in that though. I left home when I was like 23 years old to be independent. I still support my family in some ways although we are not in good terms at present.
• Malaysia
22 Jun 08
Hie Jolie, yes, they always expect a lot from the eldest child. But that is good in a way, you get to be more independent and responsible later on in life. Best wishes to you and hope things will get better soon. Cheers and thank you for sharing
2 people like this
• United States
22 Jun 08
I'm the oldest of eight. I have three sisters, two brothers, one adopted sister, and one adopted brother. I think that being the oldest puts a lot of the attention on me. Every mistake I make sets an example for all of my siblings. And I hope I'm the first to move out. :) I want to move out soon. I'm 20 and I haven't moved out yet, my younger brother who's 17 might do it before me. lol. So it's a bit of a race.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
23 Jun 08
Hie Power, thank you for the response. Sooner or later somebody will leave the house, it's part of growing up. Best wishes to you Cheers,
• United States
27 Jun 08
I am the oldest in one family and the middle in one. I dont really care to be the oldest but I hate being the middle. The oldest has the most responsibility forsure!!
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
27 Jun 08
Hie Megan, I guess being the middle one will always be pushed around to do errands or etc. by the eldest in the family. And more so you have been the oldest all along Cheers and thank you for the response.
@underdogtoo (9579)
• Philippines
22 Jun 08
I am neither the eldest nor the youngest but I certainly bore the brunt of the chores that needed to be done. My older sister and older brother could not be bothered to do mundane things around the house. My younger siblings were too young and immature to be trusted with things so I had to be the one to help out otherwise the burden would fall only on my mother. With so many kids in the house, maids seldom stay for very long.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
23 Jun 08
Hie Underdogtoo, thank you for sharing. You were the caring, responsible and matured middle child then and I am sure your mother appreciated that Cheers and have a good day!
@jaded22 (828)
• Philippines
22 Jun 08
I am the eldest. In my case I hold most of the responsibility but I've been used to it. :D What's kinda disappointing is the fact that when something goes wrong they blame it on you. But the heck with it. lol. its fine. xD
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
22 Jun 08
Hie Jaded, you are very positive and fun loving, that is good and enjoy life no matter how it takes Cheers and happy posting!
@roanne05 (1290)
• Oman
22 Jun 08
i am the eldest, but since i am the only girl...they treat me like a baby!hehehe!responsibilities..just the same!
• Malaysia
23 Jun 08
Hie Roanne, you are indeed a very lucky girl, dotted and responsible too Cheers and thank you for the response.
@misty99 (736)
22 Jun 08
We are 5 siblings,3 boys,my sister and me-the youngest.I never experienced any hand me down toys or clothes.Between me and my sister I get the most favor.Maybe because i was never shy like my sister when it comes to buying stuff like toys or clothes.I say what i feel and what i think.If i don't feel like doing house chores the other siblings can't force me.I am the baby of the family...the untouchable,the spoiled brat.But things really change as you grow up.Now with my kids ,the youngest never enjoys any of those i have enjoyed.
• Malaysia
22 Jun 08
Hie Misty, wowww, you were the boss in the house for sureMust be some terror then and you have grown up to be fine, that's great! Cheers and thank you for sharing.
@lazeebee (5461)
• Malaysia
22 Jun 08
Being the eldest child means that there are a lot of 'first time' for the parents. My parents were very strict with me - first date, first time on holiday away from home, first time to college, etc... my siblings have an easier time, as my parents had gone through the experience with me. And not only this, the additional responsibility of caring for the younger ones, and being a good example. Having said this, I still enjoy being the eldest - no pass-down clothes and shoes, new toys, etc.
• Malaysia
22 Jun 08
lol..sounded like some experiments on you but you turned out to be fine And the good thing about 'the first time' you get to have the new things unlike me being the only girl and getting second, third hand stuffs from my brothers Cheers and happy posting!
• Australia
22 Jun 08
Hi Desierra1004! Like you, I'm the only girl and the "baby" in a family of 3 siblings. Everyone thinks that I'm the "spoiled" one but not true in my case. In fact, I'm the most mature, most responsible and most level headed amongst the 3 of us. We're all mature adults now and have our own families but my 2 brothers are the ones relying on my help all the time. And yes, I was actually the first one to leave our parents' nest and lived independently. Sometimes I'm wondering if our parents have just cause a jamble in our order of arrangement...I really think I should have been the eldest instead of the youngest in our brood.
• Malaysia
22 Jun 08
Hie pink_bunny, that would be the slimmest chance I have always thought I was adopted then as I behaved so differently from my parents and brothers. But my brothers treated me like a little sister and I felt grand Cheers and thank you for sharing.