why is so hard to trust people?

United States
June 23, 2008 10:20am CST
I am just wondering why it is so hard to trust people in chat.. well for me I've been burned one to many times from lies that people say and than deny them.. I have always been the kind to trust and give them 100% but now it's just to hard to do so no matter how close of friends they are to me...Here's a little about my situation... I meet someone on chat a few weeks ago and we chat every day rather it's few minutes or a few hours we talk via internet and on the phone as well not to mention text each other during the day while he's working.. He's told me he don't come on to chat unless I am online, however there has been a few times that I've come on and his picture has been changed.. So I know he's been on that morning or day.. All he keeps saying is having some trust.. Like I've said I've been burned so many times from people and lies.. We both care deeply about each other.. I think that might be the problem, I'm afraid to get hurt again... What is your oppions on this and what would you do if this was happening to you?
4 responses
@checapricorn (16049)
• United States
23 Jun 08
Hi there wisconsin, That happened actually to my close friend and whats he did, she made another account and pretend to chat the guy(her special friend on the net) and she learned that he was lying...It is very hard indeed to trust people and simply because there's so much temptation around and it's one thing we can't control, it hurts but for me, you have to find out in any way if he is sincere!
• United States
23 Jun 08
I've actually thought about doing that but yet again I don't want to feel guilty of trying either... Normally though we are on we text each other to let each other know.. I just don't understand why he would keep changing things you know the funny thing is, is that I have my profile saying I'm taking by him but he has nothing about me on his.. It may not mean anything but I let people know that way I am not interested in anything but being friends... From what he tells me he's loves me and wants to be with me in real.. I am just not sure, I have told him I don't want to be hurt (he's replied nore do I)... He says you can come on chat when I'm not here and talk I won't get mad but just don't do anything that will hurt me.. In a way I sorta said something like that too but in those exact words.. I think though trust is a huge issue in things like that if you can't trust than there is no sense of even trying.. I am wondering though if I am over thinking some area's with him such as that...
• United States
23 Jun 08
Anyway, true that trust plays a major role in any relationship, anyway, if you were talking a lot and been awhile and you do trust him, just don't entertain these thoughts and stop analyzing all that simple things since it's just bring you to always think how if and what if...enjoy life with him, continue they journey you have started but for me reserve something for yourself, like not giving your full trust!
• United States
23 Jun 08
Thank you Checapricorn I think your right cause yes I do second guess alot of things and those are the things I shouldn't be doing no matter what.. I think that people should earn trust and your right I shouldn't trust fully just yet at least until I know for sure.. Thank you for your great reply! This really helped me alot..
1 person likes this
@as2006 (5041)
• Israel
23 Jun 08
First don't be afraid because when you think about to be afraid you'll be afraid. About trust: Yes we are living in a difficuld period of time that people are hard-hearted,impudent and unfortunate. Of course not all the people are such. I recomended to take a distance from people that we can feel something wrong.
• United States
23 Jun 08
If I did take some distance from him I know he'd be asking why and I'd have to tell him why.. I have already told him I do trust him fully but something is telling me that something isn't right... I have found him on a few different dating sites. A few where he hasn't been active in 2 months and one I can't access cause you have to upgrade on them so I can't see when he was last on those sites.. I am not paying a site just to see that that would be just a waste of money...
• United States
26 Jun 08
Love is not trust. When he said, "trust me", that really means, don't trust me.
• China
26 Jun 08
hi, dont be so sad about that. I think it is normal. It's next to impossible that he just only one frined---just you! Everyone had his own circle where he can talk freely or open heart to others. However, it is hard to say that he dont care or love you at all! So leave some space to him. May you will get surprise from him. You know, closeness too much is sometimes not a good thing. Leave him some space and find your new interest. Be happy!