When you send out Invitations......

Canada
June 23, 2008 11:27pm CST
to your child's Birthday Party is it too much to ask that the people actually RSVP..... Does no body respond to these any more? I sent invitations to the school to be sent home with the children almost two weeks ago now for my Son's party that is set for this Sunday and have only spoke to one parent who unfortunately cannot attend as they are going away for the week-end but she is bringing a gift for my son to school on Wednesday...This is fine but where is everyone else and is there not going to be any children at this party? Our family is all adults and so they will all be there but no little ones to share my son's cake etc..... Sorry but if this is because my son has Autism then that is really sad and I will be heart broken if no children show up!!!! How would you plan for this party in lieu of all this...Should I still do treat bags? This has never happened before...when he was in pre-school children always came....So frustrating and I must say again heartbreaking!!! Have you ever experienced this before with only five days left to go until the party? If so, what did you do or how did it make you feel? Thanks for listening! ~Heavens~
4 people like this
12 responses
@sminut13 (1786)
• Singapore
24 Jun 08
for us here, we're not in the habit of sending out invitations and personally, i prefer talking to them personally rather than sending out invitations as there's no guarantee that they'll respond as you know. thus we don't even know if they will attend. also, even though the invitations might be sent maybe via school and all, the children might actually forget to give to the parents, that's why we might not get responses as well. if we call them or meet them and let them know, then it's so much more convenient. we'll know whether they can make it or not and we would have let the parents know regarding the party and all.
• Canada
24 Jun 08
Thanks so much sminut! I just have a couple problems with this... First of all my son is in Kindergarten and so I know the teacher put them into the back packs Second, I do not know any of the children's parents Third, these were the only children I could invite as this is his only outlet he has to make friends and these are children that my boy seems to be attached to (He has Autism) Anyhow, I agree that would be the best way but impossible for me to do it that way! ~Heavens~
1 person likes this
@sminut13 (1786)
• Singapore
24 Jun 08
i'm so sorry heavenschild that i forgot about your son's autism. i should have read more carefully. i can understand your situation about not knowing the parents as well. it's tough. i'm sorry that i can't provide much help to you. but since you're continuing the party, i hope it will be a great party and that your son will enjoy himself.
2 people like this
• Canada
25 Jun 08
Thanks so much sminut! Of Course I will have the party hwe is a big five and he deserves it! I am still hoping that even a couple kids show up but if not I shall just have to try enjoy myself as a lot of our family will be there and my boy can play and have pizza and cake and ice cream...He'll likely be happy with that to be honest but still I'll be disappointed!! ~Heavens~
1 person likes this
• Philippines
25 Jun 08
When my son turned one, i sent out invitations. And some of my friends who live far from us, I called them and told them the details. Too bad then, there was a storm and only few relatives came for the party. Honestly, I cried. I waited for this event to happen and I prepared for it. I made the goodies bag, everything. But I tried to be happy for my son. I want him to enjoy the party. This august, he is turning to and I'm really preparing for it. As early as now, I'm praying for a storm not to come. I really don't know what I will do and feel if the same scenario happens again.
2 people like this
• Canada
25 Jun 08
I do so hope that the same does not happen this year! That is very heart breaking! Happy birthday in Advance to your boy and I hope it is a great one! ~Heavens~
1 person likes this
• Philippines
25 Jun 08
Thank you very much heavenschild.. Same to you. Hope everything goes fine on your child's birthday. Thanks!
2 people like this
• Canada
27 Jun 08
You are very welcome!~ I'll keep you posted! ~Heavens~
@minnie_98214 (10558)
• United States
24 Jun 08
I dont do these kind of parties anymore. I got so tired of it fast. You get all this work ready and people either dont show who said they would or more show than had RSVPed.
2 people like this
• Canada
25 Jun 08
Do you just do family then and have no children at all? ~Heavens~
2 people like this
• United States
25 Jun 08
Not really we just do something special with the kids sometimes family will come too. We dont make a big deal of it and they dont mind. The get a better present if they dont have the party as I save alot of money lol. But they do get a choice they can have a party but they wont get a big present so they choose.
2 people like this
• Canada
26 Jun 08
Good idea! Thanks for the advice.....I am thinking that I may have to re-think some things for next year...We will see! ~Heavens~
1 person likes this
@irishidid (8712)
• United States
24 Jun 08
My heart really goes out to you. My youngest daughter is also autistic. She's never been invited to a party. No one calls her on the phone and although the people at her job are nice to her, she's never been included in anything. I wish I knew what to tell you to do other than just have the party whether any show up or now.
2 people like this
• Canada
24 Jun 08
When my boy was in pre-school he was invited to parties and children came to his. School seems to be so much different! I plan on having the party as planned and I know all of our family members will show up...He'll be happy just to eat pizza and have cake and he'll likely sing happy birthday to himself but it is all so discouraging and very unfair! So sorry to hear this of your daughter...I wish I knew what we could do to change all of this!!! Is there still not enough awareness out there!?! How old is she? ~Heavens~
1 person likes this
@irishidid (8712)
• United States
24 Jun 08
My daughter is 20 but as you know this is something that doesn't go away. She's doing great but still has issues. With kids being mainstreamed so often these days kids need to learn more about disabilities. I can remember my son coming home upset because someone called his sister a freak. I told him the joke was on the name caller because your sister doesn't care what people think of her. It guess in some ways it's a good thing as autistics aren't caught up in what people think of them.
2 people like this
• Canada
24 Jun 08
Yes, I guess in some ways it is good as he will not know the difference when no "Friends" show up...Like I said he'll be happy to eat his cake.... It's Mommy and Daddies hearts that will be broken!! ~Heavens~
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
25 Jun 08
Well I hope that they do let you know as it is also manners to let you know, you need to know how many you are catering for and that It does not matter what Party it is People should always let you know as there is also the food and that to think of I do hope Sweetie that there will be some Children there for him and that the Parents will let you know Love and Hugs
2 people like this
• Canada
27 Jun 08
Well it is 10:30 on Thursday night and still no phone calls!!! I'm still going on as planned and hoping for the best! ~Heavens~
@suehan1 (4345)
• Australia
25 Jun 08
what i would do heavenschild is contact your sons teacher and tell her your dilema,so they may be able to remind the other parents for you and give you some contact numbers to give them a call.i hope it all works out for you.cheers sue
• Canada
26 Jun 08
Thanks Sue but they are unable to give out phone numbers and as of today school is out for the summer! ~Heavens~
1 person likes this
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
24 Jun 08
people just don't RSVP anymore. trust me in the last year i've had a toy party, a party lite party and 2 birthday parties. i sent out invites to all of them and no one called to say they were coming. the only reason i knew a few people were coming is i happened to talk to them and asked them if they were coming. Do you know these kids parents? i would just start calling and asking to see if they are coming so you know how many to expect. it may be they just got too busy and forgot. my daughter was invited to a party and i lost track of the days and didn't remember to call till the day after the RSVP date.
• Canada
27 Jun 08
These are children from my son's class at school and no I do not know them and have no access to phone numbers...My son has autism and so it makes it really hard to get to know anyone! ~Heavens~
@mommy7 (84)
• United States
24 Jun 08
I think that is very necessary to ask that parents rsvp for their children. I ask that on invitations for my kids. I haven't always done that, but I wished that I had. Once I was giving my son a party, and he passed out invitations, and only 2 kids showed up. We all have very busy schedules, even kids now days, so it's a very good to ask that they rsvp because it is heartbreaking for the child, and then you feel bad, and on top of that, you have all of the food, decorations, party favors, and whatever else you may have spent money that you get stuck with. So as for your son's party, I would still do everything that you planned, just not as much. Do enough so that your son still enjoys himself, and maybe have some party favors and treats bags for backup just in case other kids do show up. But I just think that it is inconsiderate of the other parents not to rsvp to say if there child will be attending one way or the other. I hope that son's party turns out to be great!
2 people like this
• Canada
27 Jun 08
I feel it is inconsiderate as well...I am just glad that I only invited five.... Welcome to My Lot and thank you for stopping by here! ~Heavens~
@vicki2876 (5640)
• Canada
24 Jun 08
I tend to call if I can go to the party if they ask for rsvp. But if that isn't written or if I can't go then I won't call. Usually cause I don't know the person and feel bad calling just to say I can't go. I call cause like you say there are some planning to do. I had a party for my daughter in September and only had 5 girls confirm. I had 14 girls show up. There was "make you own pizzas" and "make your own bracelets" so numbers would have been nice to know. I bought enough thinking that if they don't show up we could eat it all ourselves but still was worried that I spent money I couldn't afford. It worked out for her which was good. Though I think it would be nice if people would phone you to let you know, I hope that you son has a fun day regardless of the number of children that come. Happy Birthday!
2 people like this
• Canada
25 Jun 08
Thanks Vicki! I only invited five and already one can't come so we are down to four that we know nothing about and so it is very possible there will be no children I actually purchased some treat bag items when I purchased the invitations as it went with the theme and the stuff was on clearance....No children will mean that I will be out money!! I'm not worried about food there will be about fourteen adults and my boy abnyway and the menu is Pizza which we will get the day of when we know how many arrived....then the juice, snacks, watermelon etc....I still have to decide on how big a cake to get but fourteen adults can make a good dent in a good sized cakle anyways! So Disappointing!!! ~Heavens~
1 person likes this
@someonesmom (5765)
• Canada
25 Jun 08
Hi heavenschild, I'm glad to see that you're on here tonight. Actually, this is the first time I've been on myLot in the last couple of days. I really haven't felt up to it. I'll be having an early night tonight, and hopefully will start to feel better. By the way, I hope you received the e-mail I sent. Your situation really saddens me, and I'm not sure why those that you've invited are behaving this way. I certainly hope it's not because of your son's autism. Do the parents of the invited children know he's autistic? It's really too bad you can't get ahold of their phone numbers, but I don't suppose you have their last names? While it's great that there's going to be lots of family on hand, it's still not the same if it's just adults. When some have mentioned here, that they just have family parties, I'm concluding that there may be other children in their families, who would attend. Your son needs this opportunity to interact with kids. I guess it's too late to invite any children from your church? As for loot bags, since you don't have a number, maybe you can just buy something edible to hand out at the end, if they show, and a small toy to go along with it. I'm sorry, I don't know what else to suggest. I do understand though why you're feeling the way you are. Love and hugs to you.
1 person likes this
• Canada
25 Jun 08
Hi Mom! I just read your E-Mail now and thanks.... Sorry I had just went into my My Lot folder not really checking the In Box! I am so glad to hear from you as I was wondering why you had not appeared here yet! I do hope that you are feeling better soon and for your birthday on Friday Etc. No, I do not have the last names as the school just provided first names so that is useless and I can not contact them....If there are no children I will be out some money as I already have some goody bag stuff (Mostly dollar store) but I guess this still can not be helped! It has been so long since my boy has really been at church that we were not inviting any from there and now would be so short notice anyway...not going to happen! I'm going to have to really re-think things for next year!! That's really all I can say about this! Going out with my Husbands Mom tomorrow and doing laundry on Thursday but I shall try to call you at some point! Love and Hugs! ~Heavens~
1 person likes this
• Canada
26 Jun 08
Love you so much Mom! Wish we did not have to do all of this talking in the forum...I really miss talking to you but so busy! Feels like an eternity since we have seen each other once again but I know it was earlier in the month...I just have so much to do with preparing for holidays and planning my boys party and wrapping B-Day gifts and cleaning my apartment and.....Well you get the picture! I must say, she did not say much when I told her about the children or lack there of but There may actually be at least one child and she was happy to hear that! I may E-Mail you to let you know how my day went...It was nice to spend time with my hubby's Mom only we had a lot to do and it was all day at the mall!!! Hope we can catch a little time tomorrow if only to talk about the week-end and how the party is going to go etc. Love and Hugs ~Heavens~ P.S I do hope you are feeling better now
1 person likes this
• Canada
26 Jun 08
I am feeling somewhat better, as far as my stomach goes, but didn't have a good day otherwise, with my legs, and 'that other pain.' Since my daughter's finished school, we've been doing our spring cleaning, even though it's officially summer now. She's taken a lot of the responsibility, and I've helped where able, hence the pain. We still have more to do for our upcoming weekend guests, etc. I'm glad to hear that there may be a child coming, and am curious as to how you found out about this. Hopefully a parent called you. I'm hoping that we can talk for a bit today too, but we'll have to put a time limit on it, as we both have so much left to do. Love and hugs to you too.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16268)
24 Jun 08
I am sorry to hear that no one has RSVP to your invitations, I always make sure that I let a parent know if my child is going to go or not, it is just good manners to do so. I really do not know what to say to you with regards to doing treat bags, if you do not do any then guarantee that they will all turn up! I have never had this problem before, but this is only because I do not do birthday parties for mine. We always just do something together as a family instead. I think if it was me then I would be inclined to try and catch hold of the parents of the children that had been invited and just double check with them to see if their children are going to come or not.
1 person likes this
@Elixiress (3882)
24 Jun 08
I have a younger sister and I have found that less people are replying to the RSVPs than they did back when I was a child. Some people just tell my sister they are coming, but my parents would really like a phone call from the parents to me sure, because children may say something but then do something else. What my parents tend to do is just ring them up and explain that they want a rough idea of numbers, so they can do party bags and whatever and enquire whether that parent's child is coming.
1 person likes this