share your love problems here
By eliren
@eliren (91)
Philippines
8 responses
@avalanzce (124)
• Philippines
25 Jun 08
Thanks..
I've been loving this girl almost 7 yrs now.
She's my friend and a classmate. At first and the time I expressed my feeling towards her I had no hope but I never gave up so easily. I guess I did at lot of things for her and didn't court this girl , is it just I wasn't sure about her feelings towards me by the time we're getting closer so I'm staying to be as her friend.
As year goes by...I'm just an observer, protector and a guardian angel according to her but never did anything over the line to be as her friend..I've realized to let her go and I've told stories(lies) to her friends that I'm having a girlfriend that time and she heard about it. As I'm watching her while shes talking and asking about this "girlfriend" I have, I just saw that shes a lil bit curious, I'm expecting that she would say she's really happy now for me and I never saw if she looked sad or not, just a plain face.
More months after, I've found out that she'd got a boyfriend but unfortunately didn't work out and so I called her on phone. We talked about the relationship she had, and as she talks more about them...It really hurts me more and more, I'm crying that time while talking to her ironically pretending to laugh just to be heard. I felt that she really does love that guy, there's really nothing or any part of me inside her realizing it. And so this was the last time we had talked.
after 3 years and presently, we saw and talked each other again and I'm still never forgotten her for quite a long time. She has a boyfriend now and they're 3yrs related and me as she asked how bout my girl, I said that the so-called "girlfriend" long time ago didn't also work out.
This is my main problem:
We talked a lot recently on the net, she's really happy to be with her again and she said that I made here days not boring..and I'm happy that she said such words for me. So I had this chance to say what I really wanted to know
"Did you love me before?" something like this way.
She said "No there's nothing" as I expected.
But, there's a friend told me and I've known after the last phone call we had...
"This girl really giving me some time to do more for her, so I must wait for a while and then she'll definitely be my girlfriend for sure, she already loves me without me noticing."
Until now I'm keeping these words, and try not to tell about it..
She's going to marry her boyfriend next year.
And still...I love her.
What do you think would I do now for her and for me?
Thanks!
@eliren (91)
• Philippines
26 Jun 08
so u mean, the first time that u expressed ur feelings for her, she turned you down?
and as a result, u stayed beside her thinking that her feelings for u will change.
but years gone by, she treated you as a REAL FRIEND.
so to top it all, for u to be able to know her real feelings for u, u took a chance, u told your friends that u have a GF.
and your planned worked, but not the way u want it to be.
u thought that she was curious about it but she was not, it seems like nothing had happened.
after this incidence, she got a BF which didnt worked out right. (u had this chance to comfort her, but still, nothing happened.) this should be the time that you can tell her wat u felt but u let that moment slipped away. u chose to stay silent instead of bursting your heart out.
@eliren (91)
• Philippines
26 Jun 08
and now she is soon to get marry.
AVALANZCE the girl u knew for the very long time is still the girl u know today.
i admire the girl for telling the truth to u.
this is a one sided silent love.
there are instances that u coud tell her how u feel about her, but u let those days pass. u even tried to wait for years thinking that her feelings for u might change. but all your thoughts were wrong, she still doesnt love you and for her you're just a FRIEND.
now ur getting confused, coz she told u that u make her happy even if she is soon to get marry. and your heart wants to shout out loud how much u love her. u can hear clearly those words of her, but u cant hear her say the words everytime she tells u that ur a great FRIEND. u just want to hear want i want to hear from her.
@eliren (91)
• Philippines
26 Jun 08
u know that ur still under the state of denial. i think u cant accept the fact that she already found the man of her dreams. and you? your still here waiting for her love, which you know that it is impossible to happen.
u should try to think the consequences that might happen if u burst out u feelings:
she might change her mind and not marry.
she might realized wat she had done to u
she might get confuse.
she might not talk to u anymore
she might laugh at u
u might get hurt
u might wush that u should havenot tell her about it
u might not forgive urself if she still turn u down.
the consequences that might happen if u stay silent:
u will just love her silently
u will get hurt everytime she's happy with her fiance
u will get hurt everytime u talk to her.
u will get hurt even more wen the time of her wedding approaches and wishing that u tell her everything and thinking that u should be the one walking with her on the aisle.
then again, think of the consequences that might happen if u tell her about ur feelings.
@sutanhartanto (4122)
• Indonesia
25 Jun 08
my only problem is the distance. my girlfriend live in a town, 750 miles from my place. so we rarely meet. that's big problem, since i love her so much and i always miss my gf and want to meet her more frequently. so far we are communicating by phone or sending text message.
so, what's your advice? thx.
@eliren (91)
• Philippines
25 Jun 08
im from the philippines, and my bf is from malaysia.
2 different countries right. very from each other
like you, we only uses cellphone and thru chat.
i alwys see him every night. on web cam. i find myself satisfied from it.
i only see him every christmas.
wat he does from me to stop missing him is to,
wake me up every morning (calling me every morning)
calling wen its time to eat lunch
calling wen he is on the way home and
chatting by the internet.
be satisfied on wat u have right now..
dont let doubt ruin ur relationship
the enemy of long distance relationship is TRUST once u created an alliance to doubtfulness, ur relationship will end up nothing.
missing someone especially the one you love is natural to all lovers in the world, just keep on waiting until the day u will live with her.ITS WORTH THE WAIT, i tell u.
distance is not a hindrance for the two ppol loving each other. for their hearts remains close to each other ^_^
believe on the day that u and her will live together happily ever after ^_^ like a fairytale.
@sutanhartanto (4122)
• Indonesia
25 Jun 08
waw eiren, it's great advice. thx so much. i'm sorry you face the same problem (even worse...i mean longer distance 
) but i like the way you solve your problem. thx for the great discussion 
) but i like the way you solve your problem. thx for the great discussion 
@ajesh_pullad (2251)
• India
26 Jun 08
Hi friend, i am quiet worry about my present situation. I am fell an love with my girlfriend. Our relationship is 7 year old. Problem is that i am afraid to tell my love towards her. Also i can't bear if she refuse my proposal. Thank you. :-)
@eliren (91)
• Philippines
26 Jun 08
u should try to consider some current factors.
u said that ur in a 7 years relationship with her and u r planning to propose to her.
but the thing is ur afraid if she refuses.
try to think if there are things that might stop her from answering u a YES.
is she the bread winner of her family? if yes, try to consider that her family still needs her and she still needs to support her family. try to support her in this situation.
do u have stable job that can start a new family.
nowadays, it is hard to get marry, think well if u two are both ready.
dont rush.. plan everything.
have u met her family? wat does their reaction?
have u introduced her to ur family? do they like her?
u can marry her anytime u want but make sure that u are prepared for everything that might come up.
marrying is easy, but living in a married life is not.
is this wat ur question is all about?
@yullar (129)
• China
25 Jun 08
Hi here,thank you,
and i have a problem, my girlfriend is beautiful,and we are loveing for 5 years from our college,now we are ok and we are in the same postgraduate school,just when we are together she always say she will leave me,and find some one more handsome,more maney.i know she is joking,but just..I am bothered by that.
@eliren (91)
• Philippines
25 Jun 08
for 5 years uv been with your GF, u should know her better.
u know wen she makes a joke and wen she is serious.
is there any instances that in your 5 year relationship that she cheated u with another guy?
i also utter that joke to my BF, my reason is that, for him to get jealous and love me more and protect me more. he is very confident that i wont do that coz he knows me more than anything else.
he is not bothered by it coz he is very sure that im a good girl and wont do anything bad that will hurt him.
as for your gf, maybe she just wants u to make her feel that u are afraid to lose her, so in return, make her feel that u need her and ul be there for her everyday.
i think she wont stay long with u if she will just find another guy right?
@avalanzce (124)
• Philippines
25 Jun 08
Yeah Eliren is right.
As for me, please don't take it too much. It might be a frank joke but when it comes to love and as what you've said both of you are now 5 years having a relationship, mostly girls like to joke like that but deeply inside of them their hearts have been locked down towards you. I don't recommend this but I you replied "then go find someone who's better than me" your girl would get mad at you or maybe she would replied "Just a joke!".
It's just a test, so don't you ever let go of her ^^ fight for it and I'm sure she'll definitely love you more.
@avalanzce (124)
• Philippines
25 Jun 08
It is nice to know that there's a discussion like this..
But...It seems people aren't too open for this, I'm sure this would be fun if there's more people came and shared something.
@avalanzce (124)
• Philippines
25 Jun 08
Ok I'm going to share sooner or later, I gonna tell a bit long story and I hope I could make it shortened or summarized.
Thanks!
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
25 Jun 08
Are you a counsellor or something that or you have done some course on 'love problems'? It is a great gesture on your part that you wish to help others in their love problems. Best of Luck to you.
@eliren (91)
• Philippines
25 Jun 08
im not a counsellor, anyone can help, like u can help too.
i have my own experiences which maybe can help other ppol with their problems.
maybe u also have one that u can share to anyone, i think it can help ^_^
u can share your experience here though. thanks.
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
25 Jun 08
Are you a counsellor or something like that or you have done some course on 'love problems'? It is a great gesture on your part that you wish to help others in their love problems. Best of Luck to you.
