try to evaluate yourself as a Sister!

United States
June 26, 2008 12:32pm CST
Hi friends...being away from my parents and sister for a while and being jobless for 6 months, I have so much realization in my life..I never had the time to reflect how I was to my sister before since I am very active in any organizations and to my job even before I was a student. Yes..we shared food,things,even bed,eat together but when it comes to my activities, I didn't invite her to be with me. I didn't exert a lot of effort to take her and guide her all the way..Although, I also came to realize it was good since she learned to become very independent and responsible like me but I have still some regrets as an elder sister.Maybe those were the reasons why we are not very close as far as telling our secrets or experiences with each other is concern..We do enjoy hanging out together but there are stories in our lives where we prefer to share it to our friends.. How are you as a sister? are you very close?
4 people like this
14 responses
@jairgirl (2877)
• United States
26 Jun 08
hello che, my sister and i have the best relationship (IMHO) and i feel that i am very blessed to have her in my life. anyway, my mom got separated when i was at a young age but i have told her that i would like to have a younger sister coz my estrange brother and i dont get along well (yea from childhood till now) so i am very happy that when my dad left he left with a baby that i can take care of. i am 7 years older (but others say she looks older than me haha) than her but that gap never becomes an issue and she becomes like my little sister con kid. i said ":kid" coz my mom works full time and she often left my sister with me and take care of her while she is gone. anyway, that helps us bond more like a mother-daughter, as she grows up she will tell me everything and ask me anything, it makes me smile thinking about thsoe times that we will go to the mall and she will give me subtle hints that she wants something (which she often gets - yeah she always comes first before me) her line is often like this .... 'oh that is so cute, all my classmates have that except me' and give me that puppy look haha! so before we go home she will get whatever it is (of course if my budget permits) she never have the problem of being spoiled and one thing that she always tell me that she have learned from me is NOT TO LIE... when she is a kid she will always make up something and i told her that one day i will not gonna be there to believe her and that will be because she trained me not to believe her by fooling me often. since then she tells me everythinga nd never lied to me coz she respect and love me more than i can imagine. it is funny that i always try to protect her growing up but when she grows up she is the one protecting me coz i am more of a girly kind and she is the protector kind. she lived with us when we are in china coz she prefer to stay with me than my mom and that makes the bond more stronger. when she met her hubby (boyfriend then) she is so shy and was like a craazy cat when she asked me if i can talk to her. i have supported her all her life and she often tells me that she loves me more than our mom, i told her she shouldnt feel that way coz that is not good but i guess because she sees me as a mother figure than our mom. anyway, she is my precious gift and i cant wait to see her again. she is living in finland now and studying there but we always talk and communicate as much as we can. so the month of december is something very special for us coz she is coming over with her hubby for 3 weeks. lot's of fun and catching up (as if the calling and sms is not enough LOL) she is a greaat person and i amm happy that she grows up the way she is. that makes me happy and proud coz i know i have directed her to a life that is rightful for her. i couldnt ask for more. you're bad che! you make me miss her so much,,, hmmmmmmmmmm takecare!
• United States
26 Jun 08
LOL! Wow! What a great sister jairgirl...You make me feel I am bad also...hahahahah..Joke friend! Anyway, I love that story and for sure, you've touched her life a lot and you were her inspirations all these years..You have done your role great..Congrats for that! I never tried taking care of my sis since our gap is just a year..LOL, and we grew up like dog and cat during our younger years and even up to Hign School..My mom is always our referee since dad that time was working far from us..So, we are both close to mom..We both played together but 1 hour is too long for us not to fight...LOL! I am trying to be good now and I know until this time she is more mature(mentally) than I am..LOL! Thanks for sharing!
• United States
27 Jun 08
wow! That's great jair...I am sure time will come your brother will just realized it...and about your mom, great thing that she got a good and responsible daughter like you! Keep it up girl! I know in the future you will be a great mom as you're a great wife to your hubby! Cheers!
@roniroxas (10568)
• Philippines
27 Jun 08
i have only two sister and we dont have a brother. i am the middle born, so that makes one sister older than i am and one sister younger than i am. me and the younger one grew close. we shared a lot of things together. she is married to a japanese and is now living there. but last january she got pregnant we are all so happy because she is married for 5 years now and we are all excited to see her baby. i have four children and i am a single mom. since i know a lot about babies my younger sister decided to go home here in the philippines and to wait for the delivery here. now we are always together. we share a lot in common. we are both singers, we love cross stitch. we love watching movies and talking. now i am sure you are wondering where is the older sister. we grew up like this. she thinks she is superior and grew up bossing us around. she never even teach us in our assignments and she always call herself intelligent. now that the youngest is here in the philippines she just text to us.... not everyday but sometimes once a week only. but dont get us wrong we love our ate so much. we buy her clothes, and stuffs. i even gave her a cell phone when i came home from japan but still she was not that close to us. i hope she realizes that she is so lucky having us as her sisters. she has no boyfriend (still single) and she always have new sets of friends (no permanent). i dont know if she is happy with her life but me and the younger one hopes that she is happy. even on relatives get together she is not present. we always reach out to her but..... ouch my response is getting long already. i hope i didnt bore you. i just hope that my ate realizes that we love her and we are always here for her. and as for you it is not yet late. reach out to your sister, we only have one life to live why not make the best of it.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jun 08
Hi there roniroxas, thanks for sharing..I am not bored at all, it's a wonderful story and maybe this time, your ate is insecure with what you and your sister achieved, I am sure she is not very happy especially if she has no permanent friends, maybe she has an attitude problem, Anyway, i am hoping also that she will realize soon...When my best friend and I had a conflict, it was the time I realized that I was not the best sister for my "bunso" and I started to be one but I can't deny that I am hurt when I think those many wasted years that I was quite mean to her..Thanks for dropping!
@roniroxas (10568)
• Philippines
27 Jun 08
still it is not yet late to build a nice relationship with your bunsong kapatid. you realized it now and still can do something to patch it up. goodluck with that. i know it is not easy for your sister might not feel at ease when you sunndenly start to be extra caring and extra sweet for her, but it is still worth the try. goodluck and have a blessed day
• Turkey
26 Jun 08
My sister's and I are pretty close but sometimes I see where we aren't. We do a lot together and we share mostly everything with each other but I noticed as we grow older more things get in the way. We all are married and it's sometimes almost like a competition. I noticed that I fall prey to this a lot as well. I never really mean to but I guess it's part of human nature at times. Sometimes it's so stressful because I love my sisters but I get sometimes get envious or jealous of them without realizing what I'm doing. Also, we all seem to nip pick on each other and the others husbands. It's really sad because I want us to remain close but at the same time it's frustrating to see things that go on and you can't help but get upset about little things here and there. I guess the important thing for us to do is to remain as close as we can and never let these little things get in the way of being sisters. Sisters are a bond that is special and we're apart of each other whether we like it some days or not...
• United States
26 Jun 08
Hi there MrsFairWells...I truly understand what you feel and I agree with what you have said that sisters should be strong enough to conquer all these human attitudes that sometimes ruin great relationship! Thanks for sharing!
1 person likes this
• Turkey
26 Jun 08
You're welcome :-)
@karjyo (830)
• India
30 Jul 08
I just have a brother. But i do have cousin sisters with whom i used to share my stories and experiences.Now all of us are married and settled at different places, so we don't get to meet each other very often.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Jul 08
Hi karjyo, Thanks for sharing...Distance really matters in most of relationship!
@gr8life (6252)
• Malaysia
30 Jul 08
Hello checapricorn, I am the youngest sister and I have six elder sisters. I am not really close to all of them except my eldest sister. But, I was a very secretive person and I never shared any of my problems (whenever I had one before...) with my sisters. We shared a lot of things together and whenever I think of the pasts, I missed being around all of them. Things changed slowly after they get married - one by one. Their concerns and attention differed. If before, they only had me to think of, to pour their loves for, it changed day by day after they have their own family. As the youngest, I was a spoiled brat and too much pampered by my parents and siblings.As a sister, sometimes I do feel that I didn't do enough for them, to be with them but alas, we can't turn back the time.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Jul 08
HI gr8life, WOw! I can imagine how great was that, to have 6 elder sisters! LOL! Anyway, Like you I am quite secretive too. I will only choose what to share..LOL! But, at least you have good memories with them and I am sure one of these days, you are going to gather again! Thanks for sharing!
1 person likes this
• India
27 Jun 08
I am very close to my sister from childhood itself. We are like good friends and share every thing and there is no secrets between us
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jun 08
That's great padmameera..Thanks for sharing!
@syanika (60)
• Australia
27 Jun 08
Hi well i am the opposite. I grew up with only brothers and then my mum and dad seperated and then my father re-married. He married a woman with only girls. I had always longed for sisters as i had only had brothers. In the first meeting i was very uptight as in didn't want them to tread on my teritory, but in getting to know these girls we are now the best of friends and do everything together. They are the sisters i always wanted lol
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jun 08
Hi there syanika, that's great for you and truly it's wonderful when your wish will be granted! Enjoy!
@lingli_78 (12834)
• Australia
27 Jun 08
i don't have a sister and i always envy people who have sisters to share their clothes, secrets, problems, etc with... i only have 2 brothers... 1 elder and 1 younger... and i can't share lots of things with them because they are male and the way they think is totally differenty from female... anyway, i love my brothers and i am grateful to God for giving me a family... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jun 08
HI lingli, thanks for sharing! Enjoy life!
@yogeshdhusa (2236)
• India
27 Jun 08
hey checapricorn, i am not that close to my sister. it may be because i had a responsibility and i was in the suprior position. I thing getting close to her means letting her to do what she want.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jun 08
Hi there yogehdhusa, so you're the disciplinarian, wow! I would say she is lucky to have you and to watch as well as guide her in life..She may not appreciate that but when she will become more mature, she will be thanking you for the effort,care and love!
@ellie333 (21018)
26 Jun 08
I haven't a sister so I really can't answer that for me but my own daughters are sisters and they share everything with each other more so than they do with me and as mother and daughters we are close. They go out and have fun together but always confide in one another which I think is lovely. They have girlie nights in eating pizza and watching DVDs and just being silly but I am sure they also have things that they just share with their friends probably about the sister LOL. Ellie :D
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Jun 08
Hi ellie, thanks for sharing...I remember your relationship with your kids as my mom and sister, every time we will go out and dad will nto be with us, people will just tell us that we are just like siblings..LOL! ANyway, I feel good now about your statement that there are instances in life that siblings shared some thoughts/experiences with friends and not all with sister...Have a great day!
@littleone3 (2065)
26 Jun 08
Hi I have a sister who is three years older than me. When we were growing up we use to fight terribly and i would come off worst. But as soon as we moved out of home and both had our own places we got on alot better. Before my sister moved away we did use to go out together usually shopping. Now that we live in different towns we don't see each other as much, maybe twice a year, but we both know that we will always be there for each other when we are needed. We also text each other regularly to see how our families are doing. So i would say that we are quite close now that we are older.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Jun 08
Hi little one,this is an inspiring story and I wish I will be able also to let my sister know that I do love and care her!
• United States
26 Jun 08
It's good that your sister is like your best friend. In the perfect world, everyone would have a big or little sister like you! I don't have a sister, so I try to be a sister to all my friends and care for them, like I'm their mom, except without all the positive nagging! LOL! I'm a mom, too, so I know about nagging. It's just done out of love and not mean spirited.
• United States
27 Jun 08
I agree with that beautyqueen, There are times that I will nag to my close friends especially those who will always be negative about life, I will be giving them lesson like a mom,,LOL, and I guess that made us more closer because I am open to what I think to them....I only wish that my sister and I are very open to each other but we started our lives with some reservations...I still respect that since I know I failed to be a perfect sister to her!
@gemini_rose (16268)
26 Jun 08
I am an only child checapricorn and so I do not know what it is like to have siblings. I always wanted them you know, it was lonely at times being alone. I sometimes see sisters that are so close they have no need of any other friends they always have each other and I envy that closeness. Where I live there are a lot of sisters who are really close. I wonder if I could adopt a sister!
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jun 08
Hi gemini, I understand your feeling since growing alone is also lonely but it you had your cousins before whom you can play I am sure, it was still a great childhood. But, I know it's different not to have siblings who are with you 24/7..Good thing that you are giving your kids brother and sister...LOL! ANyway, I am also blessed to have sister but maybe due to our gap, a year, I wasn't able to help mom to take care of her so we grew up fighting a lot during our childhood! LOL!
@chitchat (179)
• United States
26 Jun 08
I have 3 sisters-1 older and 2 younger. When we lived in the same house we pretty much hated each other, having to share a bathroom, having to see each other every day. We all fought alot. Now that we've grown up and we all live in different places, we get along much better. We call each other on the phone or we text message at least a couple of times a week. When we do see each other it's like a party b/c we don't see each other that much. I think I'm a good sister. I try to be. I am extremely fiercely loyal to them. I would (and have) dropped everything to help them. I am their cheerleader. I want them to do well in life and I hope that they want the same for me. I love them even though they can be annoying sometimes. I'm sure they think the same of me too.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Jun 08
Hi chitchat, thanks for sharing...I know my sister is more loving than me, I realized that now and I am trying really to make up...Gosh, It's sad to know I was not the perfect sister she has! I am trying to improve and she knows that I do love and care her and I will not anymore prioritize my close friend over her!