Second childhood :)
By arkaf61
@arkaf61 (10881)
Canada
June 28, 2008 3:15am CST
I love my mom to pieces. I do! It was my idea to invite her over to stay for a few months and I am glad I did it.
But I have to tell you, that thing about older people turning into children again is kind of true, at least in her case.
She sulks and throws tantrums if we don't have the tv in the portuguese or brazilian channels only. She tatle tales on my kids. She only wants to eat her favorite dishes and she was oblivious to the fact that my son was sick and we were worry - well, kind of , not completely :)
I actually talked to her about a few things today. specially the tv thing. I had to because she's going to be here for 6 months, we don't mind compromising so she will watch some of her favorites, but we have to have a chance to watch our favorite programs too.
That's what I told her. If she was here for a few weeks or a month, we certainly could not watch our shows for that time, we would be glad to leave the tv just for her. But it's 6 months, we need to work out a solution that works for everyone in this house.
Also had to give her a hint that I don't like tattle telling. I never did, and the funny thing is that she never liked it either and never encouraged it when I was a kid.
Sure if she finds one of my kids doing something wrong, that's one thing. But just for the sake of tattle telling... no, please. NO need to come to me and report that my daughter was listening to her music too loud or that my son didn't take a nap in the afternoon as I asked him to do.
I understand that things didn't go as planned. WE weren't able to go anywhere special with her yet, but she has to understand she was here for about a week when Andre got sick, we certainly couldn't go around showing her all the nice places and leave the poor kid at home sick.
WHen she came I bought all her favorite foods. But hey one can't always make a feast with favorites, sometimes we do, sometimes we have to cook something else. No need for her to make a face or twitch her nose at the food I took time to prepare. Actually again she was the one who thought me that if we accept an invitation to eat a someone's place we are not to complain about not liking this and that. We might eat less, but still have in consideration the effort the person put into preparing the meal.
Oh well, she's 86 years old, I'll allow her some childish behaviour and I still love her to pieces. But when I have something to say I'll still say it. Bicely - but then again I always do it nicely with anyone - but I will still do it .
ANy experience with older family acting a bit childinsh?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
28 Jun 08
Oh Dear Twin lol
But yes I have heard that this happens I hope that things will settle down a bit and settle into a Routine, I am glad that you had a word with her and I hope she understands what you are saying
Big Hugs to you
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
29 Jun 08
I am really glad that she is here with us. I was the one who wanted her to come. She doesn't need to feel insecure about anything.
I'm afraid one of the problems is that all of us in our home are not really big talkers. We love to sit down and talk but we also like to have time to ourselves, but my mom is the kind of person that needs constant attention, she has to be talking all the time and wants us to do the same, but we're not exactly like that. She doesn't even understand the idea of personal space and time so it's hard on her too, because we're big on both:)
But it will all be fine, she knows that we're happy to have her with us.
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
29 Jun 08
Sounds like she is feeling insecure and seeking attention, but I would find that behavior just infuriating. If it were me, I'd send her to stay with your in-laws! Just kidding! But surely the thought has come to mind. Problem is they might get along just fine. Nope, better scratch that idea.
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
29 Jun 08
LOL yeah better scratch that idea it might work way too well hehehehehehe
My mom was someone that always needed a lot of attention. She doesn't even understand the idea of personal space or time. It doesn't make sense to her. She needs to talk and to be talked to constantly, she needs to be the center of attention and she needs to know that she is in control.
Unfortunately those are things that we might compromise on but not give away completely. We can have some together time each day, we always do. But we also need our private space each day.
We can give her attention but she's not the centre of attention.
ANd although she's in control of herself, she is not in control of our house. And trying to be manipulative won't make things any easier.
Still I'm sure we are doing well and working all out nicely. She is loved and wanted, but not in charge, of course :)
