Affair good for marriage ?
By alokn99
@alokn99 (5717)
India
June 28, 2008 10:20pm CST
This was a newsline in the news paper that I was reading this morning. AS per an American Psychotherapist withover 30 years of experience in Marriage counselling " An extra maritial affair can help save your troubled marriage".
I have not read this book, and do not intend to , but even suggesting something like this is totally Wrong.
1 person likes this
6 responses
@Barb42 (4214)
• United States
29 Jun 08
For a Psychotherapist to suggest an extra marital affair will help save a marriage is silly! If anything it will help kill a marriage! My daughter has a friend right now who is going through this. She has cancer and her husband has never run around on her.They've been married many years. But, he thought he couldn't cope with this (me, me, me) so he started an affair with a woman with 3 kids! This is tearing this marriage apart! So don't tell me that an affair would help to save a marriage.If it happened to me, it would end mine very quickly. I think when a man and woman marries, any thought of an affair should never enter their minds.
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
29 Jun 08
You are absolutely right. I think sometimes people just write this in their books so that they can get some attentions and their books can sell. This Psyscotherapist is drawing a lot of flak since she published this book and this statement has been made public.
@Barb42 (4214)
• United States
29 Jun 08
I believe that some of these Drs or analysts actually believe what they write! But nothing could be farther from the truth. Adultery is one of the worse things to hit a marriage. People have become selfish and think only of self. They never think what the other person is going through. I believe communication is the one thing lacking in these marriages that have so many problems. They sure do not need an extra marital affair to help them out.
@jammyt (2818)
• Philippines
1 Jul 08
How can an affair be good for marriage??? A lot of people will get hurt. The kids, the spouse and so on. Also, in the eyes of God, it is wrong. Read: The 10 commandments.
I really dont understand how people can have an affair. Some say its because they love the other person. Well I have news for them, they entered into marriage meaning they are committed. So they should live up to that.
@keep_onwatch (2680)
• India
30 Jun 08
now thats something new, and absoulte rubbish i have heard. It would only destroy, with temporary or permanent destruction of marriage. In any case, it wouldnt last. May be the author has that comparision or whatever, but what if, the other person is much more better in every way?In my case, its an end to my marriage.
@cjgrooms (4456)
• United States
30 Jun 08
Men have been using that excuse since the beginning of time. It was stupid then and it is still stupid now. Betrayal will not help your troubled marriage, it may help end it but that is about it. I swear that some so-called intelligent people doesn't have the sense of a gnat! This type of stupidity just irks me to no end. How can people be dumb enough to not only read that tripe but actually believe it?
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
29 Jun 08
yes i think its wrong to assume it will help a marriage. most marriages it dont. maybe 1 out of a thousand or so. i say that because, with my first marriage my husband had an affair. i forgave him, but just couldnt forget. i thought stupidly if i had an affair (i was only 20) i could move on. not letting him know, but in my mind i'd have gotten him back and things would be fine. but, alas, the guy told him about us!! so, he forgave me, but, needless to say, it tore our marriage apart. i met the guy a few years ago,(this has been 40yrs ago.LOL)and he is still with his wife and swears it saved their marriage. go figure?
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