How can we teach our children through incentives instead of punishments??

United States
July 1, 2008 7:48am CST
As our kids grew we had faced certain issues that made me want to pull my hair out. Don't get me wrong they weren't rotten but they did push the limits at times. We got to the point that we felt that they weren't responding to the consequences and as parents it's our job to help them actually teach them about accountability. What we started was really awesome and worked better than anything we had ever tried. We typed up a behavior chart for each of them and went over it with them every night before bed. We made an excel document with 5 columns. The first column said how they treated each other. The second was how they behaved for my husband and I, the third was how they were at school, fourth was did they finish their daily chores and finally did they finish their homework. For each column we would give a rating of one to five with five being the highest and 1 obviously being the lowest. We told them that who ever had a minimum of 150 points at the end of 2 weeks (we only did it Monday through Friday) we would take them to a special place like chuck e cheese, the movies, amusement parks etc. This was such a great tool because not only did they see where they messed up they had to be held accountable for their actions and they also got a reward. Now this isn't all we did because nothing works 100% but it was a start and it worked wonders. What about you? What was the life saver of discipline? What did you do with your kids that taught them responsibility and accountability?
2 responses
@kingcrapper (1538)
• United States
1 Jul 08
I think you system works well for younger kids but mine are little older and the idea of taking them to Chuck E Cheese would only bring about laughter. The thing that I do with my children is 'natual conseques'. I heard about it on a radio show and have used it ever since. I pose a situation to one of my children and simply tell them what the natural consequences are. One of my children was getting ready to take drivers ed this summer but his grades where bad. I told him that if the grades don't improve the conquences was I would not be paying for drivers traing. The grades did not improve and he is stuck with his bike this summer. He made the choice not me. Just like life we all have to make choices and face the consequence of those choices.
• United States
1 Jul 08
You're absolutely right. We did the whole chuck e cheese thing when they were younger (they're now 10 and 13). So now we do things that they truly love. Thanks for your response. Another good one :0)
@coopstar (282)
• United States
13 Jul 08
We have 3 sons, and we did something simalar.We used crystals in a vase for each of them.When ever they did something good they got crystals that could be traded in for different things.Its neat how humans in a well structured invierment with perameters react posativly. sorry about my spelling