Would you Allow your Friend or Partner to see you Text Messages?

@poohgal (6845)
Singapore
July 2, 2008 11:06am CST
I have a friend and whenever she's bored, she loves to take my mobile phone and look at the text messages and photos inside. Initially, I was quite uncomfortable with it as I thought that's invasion of privacy. However, after a while, I got so used to it that I just let her do what she wants. She is my good friend and I see nothing wrong in allowing her to see the contents of my mobile phone. When I was with my ex-boyfriend, he liked to look into my mobile phone too. I am perfectly fine with it. However, when I tried to do the same thing, he scolded me. Life is so unfair. Humpf.. Anyway, would you Allow your Friend or Partner to see you Text Messages? Please share.
7 people like this
62 responses
@Barb42 (4214)
• United States
4 Jul 08
I don't have text messaging on my phone. But I think it is very irresponsible for someone to just grab your phone and start looking at the things on there. Your phone and what you do on it is your personal business, not that of the public. My granddaughter had a boyfriend who would grab her phone and check out her friends and messages and then he would never let her see his phone! It really ticked her off! Now, my husband can look at anything he wants to look at because I can look at his, too. But that is completely different than a friend or boyfriend.
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
4 Jul 08
Yea. Your grandchild is too good for him. He does not deserve her.
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
4 Jul 08
Yea. Your granddaughter's bf is a real meanie.
@Barb42 (4214)
• United States
4 Jul 08
He is an X-boyfriend now.
@bombshell (11256)
• Germany
3 Jul 08
for me in my marriage my hubby and i has respect to each privacy and even friends respect to each privacy.its ok if you are the one who showed it not just friends or partner look on it.so tell your friends and partner to respect to each privacy .have anice day.
1 person likes this
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
4 Jul 08
Yea. I'll tell her. Have a nice day too.
@bombshell (11256)
• Germany
4 Jul 08
thank you.
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
3 Jul 08
No... unless that other person is my wife, there is no reason for them to look at my messages. I do not like to fiddle people's phone out of respect. Even when I do handle someone else's phone with permission, I do not go into folders that may contain personal information. Just explore the phone features and then return the phone. And I expect the same respect to be accorded to me as well. I find it a tat rude for people to go into my folders or messages to read them. It is one thing to play with the phone. Another to read the messages. Other than my wife, no one else is allowed to read my messages.
1 person likes this
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
5 Jul 08
Yep yep yep! Will not be conferred the title of a wife if they don't!
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
4 Jul 08
Yea. Wife always have special privileges.
@munhozmib (3837)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
3 Jul 08
Hello, poohgal! I feel uncomfortable if somebody start seeing pictures of me or reading my mobile phone messages. No matter who is the person, it can be my mother, my father, or my girlfriend. The same happens if somebody reads a text written by me, or a poetry, or a music that I composed. I feel strange! Perhaps I'll get used to it if people just keep looking. They always say it is nice, but I don't know if they say this because they don't want to let me down or if it is because it's the truth. Respectfully, Munhozmib.
1 person likes this
@munhozmib (3837)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
6 Jul 08
Haha, thanks! They are my friends, why would they lie? But it's still hard to believe.
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
4 Jul 08
I'm sure they mean it when they say it's nice.
1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
2 Jul 08
haha.. Life is always so unfair.. I dun mind sharing with frenz or my partners whom i'm comfortable with.. But i dun like people to take my phone without my permission and read all my messages inside.. NO matter how close we are, i will still turn round against them.. BUt so far, i have not taken a look in any of my frenz messages because i think it's an invasion and they wun like it too.. hehe
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
4 Jul 08
Yea. Of course permission must be granted first. I tried once but never try after that again.
1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
4 Jul 08
It's always better to allow some privacy.. hehe
@zeroflashx2 (2491)
• Philippines
2 Jul 08
Well, it's ok for me. I let my girlfriend look at my phone and even go into the messages and the pictures. (Oh wait.. I have to delete something.. ) I won't mind though and she let's me see her phones and messages as well. But mostly on important messages such as important events or information. Or usually just to confirm if we got the message sent by the other. I had an experience before though when a girl looked at my phone and checked the messages. She was a close friend but gotten a bit closer than expected. I did not appreciate her telling me to delete messages from another girl immediately. I just told her, "Please mind your own business. I have other lady friends too you know?". I never handed my phone to her ever again. That is unfair.
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
4 Jul 08
You friend is too unreasonable. It's ridiculous for her to ask you to delete messages. But well.. girls can be irritating at times..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Jul 08
Yeah, I agree to that one. She is really irritating when that happens. Take care!
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
4 Jul 08
i think there is no problem if he would see my messages. if i am not hiding anything, why would i be scared to let him see my messages. of course i have to know if he is checking my phone out. but if he sneaks out on me and checks up on me behind my back, that would mean he does not trust me at all.
1 person likes this
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
4 Jul 08
Yea. I hate it when that sort of thing happens too.
@dopey22girl (3319)
• United States
3 Jul 08
I have a friend who does that too and I really don't like it. I do have personal messages that I don't want other people to see, and I think it's very rude of my friend to do that. Whenever she does that I pretty much have to beg her to give the phone back. I think it's just rude.
1 person likes this
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
4 Jul 08
Beg? Does she like your phone so much? Well, you got to be more assertive if you really do not like her looking into your phone.
@moondancer (7433)
• United States
4 Jul 08
I would have no problem letting my husband see my text messages. I don't have anything to hide from him. I guess I have a pretty boring, (by some standards) life. It's not that I don't have a lot to say when talking to friends, I do have very much to say. It's just that I don't have anything going on that I would ashamed of or wouldn't mind him reading. We do respect each others privacy and don't read anything the other writes unless invited to do so.
1 person likes this
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
5 Jul 08
Yes. Indeed. If there's trust, there's no need to look into each other's personal stuff. Thanks for sharing.
• China
7 Jul 08
Actually,I don't want my freinds even my best friends to the the Thxt message as I think the is the act of invasion to other people's privicy.. I don't like that kind of person ,It is not to say I have something don't want others to know ..what raelly matters is taht I don't like that kind of act.. Molly;0
1 person likes this
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
7 Jul 08
Yea. It can be irritating at times. Thanks for sharing.
@rhane7315 (5649)
• Philippines
4 Jul 08
in my partner, yes. but if it is my friend then no lol even though she's my best friend or whatever, i just don't feel like it and i'm also very uncomfortable with it just like you
1 person likes this
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
4 Jul 08
Partner always has special privileges.
@nut_nut (251)
4 Jul 08
no way lol. maybe my best friend but not through pictures come on now lol. i have stuff from my girl on there! lol
1 person likes this
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
5 Jul 08
Yea. Some people do have personal pictures in their mobile phones.
• United States
3 Jul 08
I almost never communicate by text message, and when I do, it's always with one friend who likes to send me silly little messages that involve an RP we partake in together. If anyone else read them they probably wouldn't get what was going on, but aside from that, I wouldn't really mind or care if anybody else read my text messages.
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
4 Jul 08
Haha.. I see. Thanks for sharing.
• United States
3 Jul 08
To be honest there is no good reason for anybody besides you to be looking at your text messages so they should atleast give you some respect and ask to look at your text messages. The keyword here is "yours", they are yours dont forget that. I really dont think you should let your partner look especially if he wont let you do the same. Thats kind of wierd dont you think? Dont let a guy run over you, i hate to see that happens to our beautiful women in this world. As simple as he says "no" to you you can simply say "no" to him. To sum it up yes u should be a little more secretive with your things because from the way it sounds it looks like youre a bit of a pushover(not to be mean or anything). One day you will forget you had something to hide and a certain someone will either be surprised or mad.
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
4 Jul 08
Yea. I have learned to say NO! I was naive then but now.. I know better.
@YoungInLove (1254)
• Canada
3 Jul 08
Uhm, If i have nothing to hide then i dont mind when people read them. But if someone sends me a text with a secret, or my boyfriends texts me, those are the kind that I dont want people reading.
1 person likes this
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
4 Jul 08
I totally understand what you mean. I wouldn't want people to see those too..
@maclanis (2354)
• Belgium
3 Jul 08
Well, I guess it depends on which friend it is and what text messages I have on my cell phone. If I have some really personal ones or something I guess I wouldn't let them read it. But I don't even think my friends want to read my messages! :D It would take a while to read them all, and some are interesting for me and the person who sent it, but others sometimes don't even understand so I guess they don't really have a reason to read all of my text messages! :)
1 person likes this
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
4 Jul 08
That's good. Your friends are not as 'curious and nosy' as mine.
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
3 Jul 08
Depends on the friend. If I've known her long enough, then I don't mind letting her read my text messages. My ex did check my phone once in a while to read my messages. I was a bit shocked when he first did it because I really felt like it was an intrusion. I only got used to it when once I checked his phone, he didn't react negatively at all. He even encouraged me snooping around for his bags to see what I could possibly find out. Haha.
1 person likes this
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
4 Jul 08
Yea. If he allows me to check his, then I wouldn't mind in checking too..
@kaytee717 (188)
• United States
3 Jul 08
Sometimes I grab certain peoples phones, my boyfriends, mothers, brothers and read their text messages. I dont mean to be noisey but I'll like to see whats going on in a innocent way! I do it out of boredom but they all yell at me so i dont do it anymore. They could go through my phone if they wanted to :-)
1 person likes this
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
4 Jul 08
You are like my friend.
• Philippines
3 Jul 08
hi poohgal!!if its a friend and she asks you in a nice way i think there's nothing wrong with that.unless you have several text messages that you think that she must not read.everyones deserves privacy.But about your partner browsing your phone and doing it in his phone getting angry with you!!maybe you should think that your not that numb to just take it for granted.You know what i mean,maybe you have to do the talking now.it's really unfair for you.fight for the right!!
1 person likes this
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
4 Jul 08
hi sakura, yea.. I guess that's the reason why the relationship did not lasted. I had nothing to hide and he had something to hide (that's why he didn't like me prying into his mobile phone).
• United States
3 Jul 08
It's definitely situation and person dependent for me. I'm a very private person, and unless I pass someone my phone for the purpose of them viewing a text, I'd prefer that they not. Though I'd have nothing to hide from my boyfriend, I have a problem with people who feel that they need to verify that you're not doing anything wrong. So for me, an occasional looking through the phone would be fine, but to do it regularly to "check up" on me would show a lack of trust, and I wouldn't tolerate that. I have a friend whose girlfriend went through his phone and called every girl who he had any type of flirting text message with and told them that she though they were terrible bc he was in a relationship. Granted, dude was pretty shady, but her insecurities and need to find information are what I think people try to avoid by not wanting anyone looking through their phone.
1 person likes this
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
4 Jul 08
Yea. Agree. Your friend is too insecure. She should really communicate and trust him more.