Complainers -

@trish32 (1471)
United States
July 2, 2008 1:40pm CST
It occurred to me the other day as I was listening to a friend of mine complain, again, about the same things she always complains about that many people spend far more time complaining than they do trying to solve their problems. This is a behavior I simply don't understand. Yes, I complain, too. However, I'm not the kind of person to simply complain. I will voice my complaint and then attempt to find a solution or resolution to the problem. My friend, on the other hand, complains endlessly. She has people giving advice and attempting to help her, yet rather than taking the advice or attempting to find a solution of her own, she seems to just ignore it all and continue to complain. To be quite honest, it's putting a strain on our friendship, as all she ever talks about is the same complaints and I'm quite tired of hearing it. So, do you all have complainers in your lives? If so, how do you handle the situation with them?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@YoungInLove (1254)
• Canada
2 Jul 08
I complain alot I find. But its only because when people ask me whats wrong or something when Im upset I tell them. They never ask about when im not upset so they hear more of the complaints then the positives.
@trish32 (1471)
• United States
2 Jul 08
I have no problem with someone venting their frustrations or fears. What I have a problem with is hearing about the same problems all the time when I know that the person isn't truly trying to do something to resolve the issue. I'm also the kind of person who will ask my friends how they're doing whether they're happy, sad, upset or otherwise.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
2 Jul 08
oh yes but this Aunt of mine lives in a different state so am no longer subjected to her tiresome long list of complaints whiche never ever seeemed to vary but she went on and on'about them every time I saw her. now days if I meet someonelike that I excuse myself and walk away. I will not listen to that as its' just too too depressing. I may complain but I do do something about my complaints rather than just stew about it.
@trish32 (1471)
• United States
2 Jul 08
I agree. I find it exhausting and depressing to listen to. It's gotten to the point where I just don't answer the phone, sometimes for a couple of days, when I see that she's calling. I know it may sound mean, but I just don't have the energy to listen to it. I've even told her that, and she always promises to change the subject, yet never really does.
@owstalaga (4707)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
ah i really don't like it when someone complains endlessly and doesn't even listen to anybody's advice. That person will not succeed in life i believe. Perhaps that person is not aware of how much it affects the people around her or him or maybe it's just because they are not aware of what they are doing. Some people are blind to their faults so they need to realize it but if you force them to realize it they will fight it more. It's not helpful to complain unless it's something that's really painful. Indeed we all must take action about what we want to complain about before we complain about it. Bringing other people down by complaining won't help anybody. =)
• United States
2 Jul 08
I know exactly what you mean. There's a friend that I don't speak to very often who I only just got back in touch with this summer... and as horrible as it is to say, I'm almost regretting it. All this friend wants to talk about is how horrible their job is, how much they hate it, how they want to quit, etc. I can't blame 'em, considering what I've heard about the job, but... what I don't get is why they aren't accepting any advice/help from anyone (including me) on what they can do to fix the situation.
@trish32 (1471)
• United States
2 Jul 08
That's what I don't get. It seems they expend far more energy on the whining and complaining than they would on solving the problem. My friend, for instance, has a son living with her who's an absolute bum. Granted he works, but he doesn't pay any bills, talks down to her constantly, blows his money and won't finish work in the house that she paid him in ADVANCE to do. She complains about the situation with him constantly. He makes enough money to get his own place, and is running her bills up to the point where she's having a hard time paying them. She tells him how much he owes and when the bills are due, yet when he doesn't pay her (which has been the case repeatedly) she just complains. I told her she should tell him if he's late on the bills again he'll have to leave, and that she should follow through with it. I also told her that she should tell him if he doesn't finish the work she paid him to do that she'll be forced to ask him to reimburse her for the portion of the job he didn't do, and if he doesn't pay she should show him the door. She always says it's good advice, but never takes it. It's very frustrating to listen to all the time!