Husbands
By Momofagirl
@Momofagirl (23)
United States
July 2, 2008 4:33pm CST
I don't understand it anymore. Whe my husband and I got together 4 years ago it was all happy, happy. Now it is totally different. We are always angry it seems. Granted almost all days start off good, but then he says something and I just go off.
We had a baby 16 months ago, and for the first week our relationship was back to what it started as. Then that all changed.
I know that a relationship can't be like the movies, and all romantic or anything. But I mean come on. We used to have romance, and we went places together, we just were happy. There is no romance anymore. Its like he doesn't have to impress me anymore because we are married so whats the use.
How do we get that romance back?? How can we get back to the way we used to be??
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
2 responses
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
• United States
2 Jul 08
Well let's see.. I've been married 5 years, with him for 7... and I still don't have much romance, lol.
I think a lot of it boils down to communication and knowing when to give each other space. You need to say what you're truly feeling. If you're upset, you have to say why and not just pick at stupid things to yell at him for just to vent your anger. Having a baby is stressful, and sometimes while you may just be stressed at the baby or life in general, it's easy to take it out on him. This is a good time to give yourself space from him until you calm down. Sometimes he may just need some space too, or some alone time to do some of the things he enjoyed to do before the baby came along.
Try to get a friend or family member to watch the baby so you two can have a date night and discuss some of the problems you've been having. And read some relationship books. The Dr. Phil Family Matters book really helped me.
@Momofagirl (23)
• United States
2 Jul 08
You are right. I do find myself yelling at him for things that he didn't even do. It is stressful with a baby and sometimes I don't think he really understands because he doesn't have to do it on a daily basis.
As for the alone time together. I don't have anyone to watch her for a night. All my family and friends work and then they have their own families to attend to. However, I think I will try to plan a dinner and a movie after the baby goes to bed. Light candles and try to be somewhat romantic.
I will definatly look into the Dr. Phil book, I watch him on TV during the day and I love him.
Thank you so much!!
@ci_svufan223 (24)
• United States
9 Jul 08
If your the one yelling at him for things he didn't do, than stop yourself. Think about it before you jump on him. Maybe things will mellow out if one of you chills out first.
I have to work different hours than my husband, so right off the bat, we don't have too much time together. I make time though. I get up with him in the morning and just sit and hold his hand, and kiss him goodbye when he's off to work.
When I come home, fisrt thing that happens is we greet each other with a kiss and a long hug. That drops any irritation toward him, and him toward me. Once we are mellowed out, we can talk and spend the rest of the night having quality time with each other.
@knightrider (1083)
• India
10 Jul 08
to say the truth it is difficult, becos it has to start in the mind and after 4-5 years of mariage the mind does not function as it was in the beginning becos there is no burnign desire to achieve anything,
then how can you solve the situation?
divine intervention is one option
on the human level, each of you try to understand yourself, understand you body, the mind through simple ways liek we teach children to talk and realise its not all play after 4-5 years of marriage,
to keep the love intact, its trying to understand each aspect of your existence and be patient
