looking for feedback, what do you think? any ideas on a title?
By littlepunk81
@littlepunk81 (21)
Canada
July 2, 2008 11:18pm CST
Standing
On the cliff
The edge of
My life
Chance is the
Air I breath
Happiness
My parachute
The drop is
Reality
Fragility
Of the human wings
Never
Meant to fly
Clipped, tamed
Even broken
Yet
Still I soar
On air
With happiness
And here I am
Standing.
copywrited. 2008
1 person likes this
3 responses
@littlepunk81 (21)
• Canada
4 Jul 08
thank you so much!! the ultimate goal of all my work is to be painless for the reader. No matter who you are or what you've been through, i like to think anyone can relate to or even just "get" my writing. your idea for the title actually gave me a new insight on the poem itself. Great suggestion!!!
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Jul 08
littlepunk nice poem, Happiness my Parachute would be a'
great title or On Human Wings may be a better choice, anyway
those are my choices for titles. I like your poem very'
much. another title might be Still I Soar.
@littlepunk81 (21)
• Canada
4 Jul 08
thank you so much for your comments and suggestions. im new to mylot and really am hoping to use it as an outlet for some my mental ramblings ha ha.
@nanayangel (7879)
• Philippines
22 Aug 08
Hi there Little Punk!
That is a great poem. Thank you very much for sharing it to us.
