Have you ever felt torn between what is right and what is not?

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I mean have you ever in your life really started thinking of things you should not because of your station in life? Like if your married have you ever thought of what it would be like to be married to someone else? Or have you ever wondered if you had waited to get married if you would still of gotten married? sometimes I wonder, I think if I had of waited to get married I would most likely never of gotten married, but I don't really know. I am afraid sometimes though that if my husband were to leave or to die, that I would be alone forever and I really don't want to be alone because I don't like being by myself do any of you feel the same? or are you confident that you would be able to marry again if something were to happen that you were no longer married.