Two Faces......?
By nupats
@nupats (3564)
India
July 7, 2008 3:01am CST
Do you always reveal your true feelings to people ...or you try to sound politically correct..do you try to show that you are helpful and actually do not like helping at all and later on crib about being stuck with this person...i saw someone they sound very helpful and if ever you need them they go and tell the whole world how u forced them to help ....i just stay away from them and detest such people..i am kind of straightforward and if i cannot do something to help i go ahead and tell on the face that i cannot do it...so people think i am rude and arrogant where as that is not the case i am just being honest..are u straightforward or diplomatic in your conduct? why are these guys misunderstanding me? should i also become diplomatic ? what is the point of such friends who dont understand you and accept you as you are? would you cahnge?
4 people like this
18 responses
@piichan14 (73)
• Philippines
7 Jul 08
If I can't do it, I tell them that I can't. If I'm not sure, I'll tell them that I'll try. And I hate it when people help you then tend to push that in your face. If you want to help, do it for the intent of helping rather than boasting.
2 people like this
@AnnaB7 (756)
• United States
7 Jul 08
I try to be helpful to others, but if I know that I can not help them I just try to tell them so, but I try to help them at another time.
Because I never know if maybe I will need someone sometime to help me with something,.
so I try to think of how I would feel if I really needed someone to help me and I did not have anyone to help me.
Maybe just tell your friend that you can help them another time if you can, or if you really can't tell them maybe you can help them with something else at a later time because you can not help with what they are doing.
Hope you have a great day.
2 people like this
@nupats (3564)
• India
12 Jul 08
hi dear i am also very staraightforward person...i like to genuinely help my friends and do not brag about it...if i cannot help i do tell and try to explain why?...after all one person really cannot do everything..yes if they are true friends they dont really mind and understand the situation..there are some people i just dont ask for help ever bcoz i know how they help and then crib to the whole world about the inconvenience they had..thanx for sharing your views..have a nice day..
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
8 Jul 08
I show my true face/feelings 99.9% of the time. The other 1% I only mask my feelings if it would hurt someone to know what my true feelings were.
1 person likes this
@cupid74 (11388)
• Pakistan
7 Jul 08
Hey hey hey
what a discussion, lerki why do u want to reveal real faces if they get un veiled, and i am afraid i might be one of them tooo
We to be straighforward is good and u should be following it but where u see , u r going to hurt someone, just choose words which are better and less pinching, i mean convey ur message in soft way.
u r rights , no one is perfect so friends must be accepted as they are with bad and good points. and if u have to change it should be moulding in such a way by convincing that other dont feel it
No relation can go on with forced relation
Take care
We to be straighforward is good and u should be following it but where u see , u r going to hurt someone, just choose words which are better and less pinching, i mean convey ur message in soft way.
u r rights , no one is perfect so friends must be accepted as they are with bad and good points. and if u have to change it should be moulding in such a way by convincing that other dont feel it
No relation can go on with forced relation
Take care1 person likes this
@nupats (3564)
• India
12 Jul 08
well said dear...i always genuinely try to help my friends...and yes i do take care so as not to hurt anyone but just saying No is not acceptable to some ..yes my close friends know me very well so generally happiness. i help if time and space allow..but i never go and tell the whole world how i had to help someone that is so mean..have a nice day dear..
@cobrateacher (8432)
• United States
7 Jul 08
This doesn't have to be one or the other. One can be polite without being a hypocrite. Lying is, of course, unacceptable, but we needn't be insulting or arrogant.
@leealice67 (221)
• China
7 Jul 08
I am a straightforward person too. I help when I can help and when I can't help I say it out and explain why. I don't like diplomatic talking so I never did that. But actually no one misunderstood me. Maybe you can explain a little bit why you can't help and say you are very sorry you can't help. I am sure most people will understant. After all, no one can do everything.
@nupats (3564)
• India
12 Jul 08
hi dear i am also very staraightforward person...i like to genuinely help my friends and do not brag about it...if i cannot help i do tell and try to explain why?...after all one person really cannot do everything..yes if they are true friends they dont really mind and understand the situation..there are some people i just dont ask for help ever bcoz i know how they help and then crib to the whole world about the inconvenience they had..thanx for sharing your views..have a nice day..
@akumei1269 (1749)
• India
7 Jul 08
I also am like you to certain extent . Previously I was also sad feeling just like you are doing . But , now I am brainworking on it . I behave in a varied range of ways . By doing this , i have compelled most of my critics to accept me as I am . Because they have had to admit that since I am not callous in my attitude deep in my mind , I have every right to point out others' faults that directly affects me . I seldom take interest in matters that are controversial , involves some two or more persons amongs my friends and collegues but doesn't involve me at all .
1 person likes this
@nupats (3564)
• India
12 Jul 08
very good dear i am still working on it i am not too good with this..i am also a very staraightforward person...i like to genuinely help my friends and do not brag about it...if i cannot help i do tell and try to explain why?...after all one person really cannot do everything..yes if they are true friends they dont really mind and understand the situation..there are some people i just dont ask for help ever bcoz i know how they help and then crib to the whole world about the inconvenience they had..thanx for sharing your views..have a nice day..
@prasanta (1948)
• India
7 Jul 08
When someone you know does not want to help but just shows off, it is better not to keep them close to you.
As for as denying the help, one can still be polite and politically correct. If the opposite person does not like "no" for an answer, you can create some lame excuses.
Why to get upset if they get upset? Just let go. Be spontaneous. They may ultimately understant!
@nupats (3564)
• India
12 Jul 08
very true dear..i am also a very staraightforward person...i like to genuinely help my friends and do not brag about it...if i cannot help i do tell and try to explain why?...after all one person really cannot do everything..yes if they are true friends they dont really mind and understand the situation..there are some people i just dont ask for help ever bcoz i know how they help and then crib to the whole world about the inconvenience they had..thanx for sharing your views..have a nice day..
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
7 Jul 08
nupats just be yourself honest to yourself and to others, do not change, I am honest and open and straightforward and if othersdo not like that, tough patooties. I am who I am and cannot be
anything else. I do likehelping people as I spent most of my'adult life working as a nurses aid in my local hospital and enjoying doing so. I am honest with p eople and if I cannot do something I will be op;en and say so.
1 person likes this
@blackmantra_x (2732)
• Philippines
7 Jul 08
good day...I can say that I have a way of telling people if I can or can't help them. Though it's harder to turn down people specially when they are desperate and depending on your help.
@nupats (3564)
• India
12 Jul 08
thats very nice and i think that it is the correct way to handle it as well...why hurt someone by harsh words the message can b put across in a politer manner..that is the way i would also like to handle it..i also find myself in tough conditions at times...thanx for writing in..have a nice day
@kerriannc (4279)
• Jamaica
7 Jul 08
Hello Nupats, I will not change myself for no one. I am a straightforward person and whatever hurt me I will let you know. I am also helpful and love to do this but there are some person who does not understand when someone is helping them and not abusing them. Since being involved with my boyfriend I have realized alot of personalities that person have and makes me think twice in helping others. So before I give a helping hand I consider it before because the experiences that I have learnt dealing with his relatives makes me realized that people is not the same everywhere. This I wouldn't consider as changing but adjusting one self according to the situation.
1 person likes this
@nupats (3564)
• India
12 Jul 08
hi dear i am also a very staraightforward person...i like to genuinely help my friends and do not brag about it...if i cannot help i do tell and try to explain why?...after all one person really cannot do everything..yes if they are true friends they dont really mind and understand the situation..there are some people i just dont ask for help ever bcoz i know how they help and then crib to the whole world about the inconvenience they had..thanx for sharing your views..have a nice day..
@TessWhite (3146)
• United States
8 Jul 08
I am what I am. I see no point in trying to win popularity contests or in being someone other than myself. I do my best to give my honest opinion. And I do my best to do it as politely as I can. In some cases that just isn't possible for me, I've just got to express my true thought and opinion.
When I was four I stuffed my mouth full of bread. My grandmother after finally pulling the toast out asked me why I had done that. I responded - because mommy said if I can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. LOL So apparently its been a life long issue for me!
1 person likes this
@nupats (3564)
• India
12 Jul 08
hi dear i am also a very staraightforward person...i like to genuinely help my friends and do not brag about it...if i cannot help i do tell and try to explain why?...after all one person really cannot do everything..yes if they are true friends they dont really mind and understand the situation..there are some people i just dont ask for help ever bcoz i know how they help and then crib to the whole world about the inconvenience they had..thanx for sharing your views..have a nice day..
@latriciajones (846)
• United States
7 Jul 08
i only help if i can and i if i cant then i let them know so they wont be expecting anything from me. and if they have a problem with it then whatever.
1 person likes this
@nupats (3564)
• India
12 Jul 08
i always genuinely try to help my friends...and yes i do take care so as not to hurt anyone but just saying No is not acceptable to some ..yes my close friends know me very well so generally happiness. i help if time and space allow..but i never go and tell the whole world how i had to help someone that is so mean..have a nice day dear..
@krayzietam (832)
• United States
7 Jul 08
I used to be very straightforward with people but that often offended others. I learned there are ways to be honest yet use tact. That's very important if you want to build a relationship with others. Sometiems, there are just those people who claim to want to know the truth yet get upset even when you say it in a nice way. I dont like being around those types of people either because how can you be yourself? Now, I just say things if I have to. Just because I have an opinion doesn't mean I always have to share them.
@nupats (3564)
• India
12 Jul 08
hi dear i am also very staraightforward person...i like to genuinely help my friends and do not brag about it...if i cannot help i do tell and try to explain why?...after all one person really cannot do everything..yes if they are true friends they dont really mind and understand the situation..there are some people i just dont ask for help ever bcoz i know how they help and then crib to the whole world about the inconvenience they had..thanx for sharing your views..have a nice day..
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
7 Jul 08
People always know how I feel! I don't believe in being phony. But rather than say "I hate strawberries" I'll say, "I don't care for any, thanks" to people I don't know well. I won't tell them they're full of crap, I'll just ask why they feel that way. If we're close friends, I'll tell them I think they're nuts! 
But I usually try to be diplomatic while letting my opinion be know. It's just common courtesy.
But I usually try to be diplomatic while letting my opinion be know. It's just common courtesy.1 person likes this
@cjgrooms (4456)
• United States
7 Jul 08
I am pretty much one of those "what you see is what you get" people, I will tell someone that i am unable to help if i can't help. However i try to NEVER EVER hurt anyones feelings not because i am being politically correct but because i hate having my feelings hurt.
1 person likes this
@nupats (3564)
• India
12 Jul 08
hi dear i am also very staraightforward person...i like to genuinely help my friends and do not brag about it...if i cannot help i do tell and try to explain why?...after all one person really cannot do everything..yes if they are true friends they dont really mind and understand the situation..there are some people i just dont ask for help ever bcoz i know how they help and then crib to the whole world about the inconvenience they had..thanx for sharing your views..have a nice day..
@ynigz1 (472)
• China
9 Jul 08
I don't think I always reveal my trur feeling to people. I don't like to do that, except sometimes I feel lonely or feeling sad want to talk to some one about myself. And I will just talk to my best friend. When I with other people, I don't like to talk about those, and I don't to pretend myselft also, but true feeling always can't be express to them.
@lazeebee (5461)
• Malaysia
7 Jul 08
It depends on the situation. Yes, I agree that people who are 'two-faced' are really not nice to know. However there are situations where we have to hide our real feelings and be diplomatic, for example, dealing with clients. We sometimes cannot afford to let our feelings get the better of us.
At other times, I can be very direct (but polite) and say what I feel, especially dealing with difficult colleagues. I try hard to focus on the issue and not the person, so that there will be hopefully, no hard feelings after the confrontation.
1 person likes this
@nupats (3564)
• India
12 Jul 08
well said dear...i always genuinely try to help my friends...and yes i do take care so as not to hurt anyone but just saying No is not acceptable to some ..yes my close friends know me very well so generally happiness. i help if time and space allow..but i never go and tell the whole world how i had to help someone that is so mean..have a nice day dear..
