Should men be allowed to marry more than one wife?

Malaysia
July 9, 2008 9:46am CST
Divorce cases are on the rise. Most of the time it is due to the fact that there is a third party. Men will divorce their partners and marry the new one. Instead of divorcing which is disallowed or disapproved by some religions, the authorities should legalised polygamy. Do you agree?
2 people like this
7 responses
• Malaysia
16 Jul 08
I think this is an old issue. I think it depends on the individuals involved in such marriages. Here in my country it is allowed but a man who wants to have more than one wife would need to go to court and convinced the judge taht he can be fair and earn enough income to support his wives. He must also have the consent of the other wives. I think it should not be a problem if people are OK with it. It is not as easy as you described.
• Malaysia
16 Jul 08
Yes, this is an old issue. But no one have a perfect answer for it. Your country allows men to marry more than one wife. That is very interesting. In some countries, a couple cannot even have more than one child. To get a second wife, the man is required to get the wife's consent. This is a good rule, so that there will not be any cheating. The first wife is aware of the husband's intention. The man must be fair and able to support the wives both financially and sexually, I suppose. What if the wife refuse consent. Will they end up in divorce because the man wants the other woman as his wife?
• Malaysia
16 Jul 08
Well, I don't think that polygamy is to be blames if a guy wants a new wife. If a guy wants a girl so bad that he is willing to divorce his wife then he will divorce her even if there is no polygamy rule. So there's no relation with polygamy rather it's a problem of infidelity.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
16 Jul 08
In a country where polygamy is unlawful, if a married man wants to marry another woman, normally he has to divorce the current wife first. He divorces his wife because the law do not allow him to take a second wife. If polygamy is lawful, he don't have to divorce the current wife. He can keep both of them and be fair to them. In the situation where both husband and wife cannot get along (always quarrel and fight), then it is a different reason for divorcing. You are right that when a man wants a woman, he will go for her but he don't have to do it at the expense of the current wife. He can love both unless the current wife disagree which is normally the case.
• India
10 Jul 08
Hi hearmy, I have nothing against men marrying as many women as they want, provided I am not one of their wives. Cheers and happy mylotting ;)
• Malaysia
11 Jul 08
I believe many women have the same view as you. No woman wants to be one of the wives of the same man. This would be the ideal position. The problem starts only when there is a third party. In this situation, how would a wife think? Is it going to be either she or me? What if you already have a kid or 2? What if you still love him very much? There is something written by lazybee, about a woman with more than one man. What will happen if you are in this situation? Your husband love somebody else while you have fallen for another married man? What will you do? A bit confusing isn't it? Thank you for your input.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
16 Jul 08
You have got a mindset that women have to do all the house chores. Women have all the resposibilities including sexually satisfying men. As for men, it's all about sexually satisfying themselves. So it is about time things changed. How about these 5 men go out and work and bring back money for you and your children. They can hire one or two maids for you. You just have to supervise and make sure all the house chores is done according to your wants. You will not be under unnecessary presures and will have more time for your 5 husbands. You can then find ways to satisfying your 5 men. You could be more inovative. You don't have to be their slaves. There should be a paradigm shift. Hope you agree this time.
1 person likes this
• India
16 Jul 08
I have no problems agreeing with you. As I said before, I have no problems either with polyandry or polygamy. But, I wouldn't go in for it. The picture you painted looks good, maybe some women will really enjoy it. But, again, that's not the sort of life I want. I love the way I am living now. So, I definitely wouldn't marry even one man, let alone five men, even if they offer me heaven. It is just the way I am made. Cheers! :)
• United States
9 Jul 08
I don't think that polygamy should be illegal, not because of the reasons you state, but because I think that it is a valid lifestyle choice and if all parties are aware and agree to it then they should be allowed to do it. Although I find the lifestyle to be strange, and I would not agree to it in my own life, I can see an upside to having this kind of lifestyle.
• Malaysia
9 Jul 08
What if he can financially support and make both wives happy. Is that ok for you instead of getting a divorce?
• United States
9 Jul 08
No it's not my type of thing, I wouldn't want to share my man with anyone. I'm the jealous type.
• Malaysia
10 Jul 08
I doubt anyone is this type. However, You don't have to lose your husband when he falls in love with another woman. He may end up loving you more. Never thought that may happen?
@lazeebee (5466)
• Malaysia
9 Jul 08
Polygamy means 'the practice of being married to than one spouse at the same time' (Wikipedia) Well, if the authorities approve polygamy, and women are given equal rights, so I guess this is fine. The only issue is, do you want to share your man or woman with others? Personally, I won't; I'd rather divorce my husband than share him with another woman. After all, if he has interest in another party, there is no reason to continue with the marriage. So why torture myself with such matrimonial ties?
• Malaysia
10 Jul 08
You do not have to torture yourself. Sometimes a couple choose to divorce just because of some disagreement or some short comings which is really unnecessary. If they can work things out, both can still be together with some adjustments. You do not have to lose your spouse if he has fallen in love with another woman. You also mention that a woman may have more than one man. This is better than a wife commiting adultery. It should be alright provided she can also care for both men. Can she do that?
1 person likes this
@lazeebee (5466)
• Malaysia
18 Jul 08
My dear friend, thank you for the Best Response. It was indeed a very pleasant surprise.
@anndocs (249)
10 Jul 08
I think, there is a religious group allow it. And there is some country strictly not allowing it, some are need to be documented. Anyway, just for me, it's a No' until He is still bond in marital agreement. Thanks!
• Malaysia
10 Jul 08
When we are not in this situation, we will say no When we are in it, we might give in to the man. You just want him to be fair to you while having the other woman. It might be arkward at first but eventually you will get use to the new lifestyle.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Jul 08
i dont know.. i believe a polygamus relationships can work but i couldnt picture it being a legal thing (as in legally marrying each person).. i dont know why.. i guess even if you made it a legal thing that there would still be divorce just because some people would get to where they dont want to be anywhere near or connected to others instead of just adding some one.. but heck i wouldnt be against it.. but then again im very open minded.. even if people wouldnt do it themselves that shouldnt stop the option for others in my opinion
• Malaysia
10 Jul 08
This may sound ideal provided the man is fair to the two women. The other woman must make it easy for the triple relationship. She might make it difficult for you so that you will ask for the divorce. She wants the man totally for herself. So it boils down to the man again. Can e be fair to both and punish the trouble maker?
• United States
9 Jul 08
I would not want my husband to have another wife. I would rather get a divorce if he did not want me as his wife. I do not like to share. I do not think it is morally ok for a man to have many wives. It is hard enough to keep up with one. How could you keep many happy?
• Malaysia
9 Jul 08
He still wants you. He still care for you. It's just that he happens to fall in love with another woman. He will continue to finanially support you and give you whatever you want and within his means. What if he can financially support both women. Most important he can keep both his wives happy? Instead of going for a divorce?