Guilty feelings?

United States
July 11, 2008 7:44am CST
A very long time ago, just before my husband and I started dating, I said something about him to someone else that I shouldn't have said. It got back to him and I lied and told him the person was making it up. All these years later I still have not told him the truth. On one hand, it's really not a big deal, as it was so long ago, the statement wasn't really true anyways, and the person it was told to doesn't even know us well. It was a coworker at the time, but I didn't stay with that job long. At the same time, telling him that I thought that of him at the time may hurt his feelings. I'm not really sure how he will take it. He may see it as no big deal because of how long ago it was, but he may be hurt and angry that I lied to him and said it in the first place. The problem is, this has been on my mind for some time. I often bring up conversations about that time to see if he will ever ask about that situation, I guess to give me the chance to come clean. Last night I came very close to telling the truth, I really wanted to, because apparently this is eating away at me. It's on my mind a lot more often than it should be. Chances are he has completely forgotten it. But I am still afraid to tell him because I don't know how he will take it. I'm worried he could get angry. What would you do?
1 response
easymoney75503
@easymoney75503 (1702)
• United States
11 Jul 08
we dont know what this thing said is so it is hard to say. my thoughts though if it is driving you crazy then you need to come clean on it. i mean how long ago was it. how well did you know your husband at the time. if you have been together and it was something like he wasnt all that good looking or etc then come clean if it bothers you that much. i mean you have a good marriage now and you love each other things change thoughts change. i am sure he hasnt always said you are perfect.
katsmeow1213
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
11 Jul 08
I don't want to say exactly what it was, it was a bad thing to have said about him. I did know him very well at the time as we'd been friends for 2 years already, had dated briefly but broke it off. Honestly I wasn't interested in him yet, but eventually became so, obviously. He knows all of that. He knows all of how I felt at the time and all that. This is the only thing he doesn't know. Everything else we've been totally honest about. I suppose knowing what was said would give you more insight, but I really just can't say it here.