Things have escilated with Kat.....

Gosh I am so sorry, I cannot believe that it has escalated into this, I am really shocked. But you have done the right thing, you are not letting her get away with it and I really hope that this will sort her out. If you let her get away with that sort of violence against you it would never end. You know that you have my support and that I am here for you, I just dont know what to say I never expected to be reading a discussion like this from you. xx

Sweetie I am so sorry you have been put through this with her I just do not understand why she is like that, I still believe that she needs long sessions of counseling, no Child should hit a Mother ever, Sweetie I am not being awful but I do hope that the Court will give her a severe punishment and also put her in a Program for this, she needs to be sorted and know that she can not do these things A big Hug to you and lots of Love coming your way with this

Has she ever been tested for any underlying mood disorder? That is not normal teen behavior. I think there could be alot of things going on with her. Usually it's the whole family constellation that needs help though. I have had alot of problems with my son too, he is now almost 20 and living with his father. He seems to be maturing albeit slowly. I hope the court orders counseling for all of you. You need it also to be able to cope with this situation.

I'm really sorry for you, I've read other of your posts about her but neve thought it could get that nasty. I'm sorry, there's nothing I can say beyond this point but to show my support.

I don't really know your story as I have only seen this post .However I can tell you a little about my daughter perhaps it can help,if not at least know I am a friend who will listen and try to help.My daughter was a difficult child right from the start.She would scream as a baby no matter what I did unless it was holding her backwards on my hip and pacing the floor.She didn't sleep much at all and screamed all the time as she grew older her screaming turned to all out temper tantrums.I did what I could do,punishment,the whole nine yards nothing worked.When she was twelve she hit me,now I had never hit her as punishment to say the least I was shocked and hut by this,and also scared because I did not know what I did wrong and when to make her such an angry child.I took her to a psychiatrist,and I was lucky she wasn't one to just put kids on pills and call it a day.When we went to her office of course my daughter was angry with me for making her go,so the doctor got to see her at her worst.The doctor considered other factors,one she didn't act up at school and did very well there,and two she mostly only showed this rage to me.The doctor said she had oppositional defiance disorder,no medication for his.I went home and researched it,got all the information and I read it every night to keep it fresh in my mind when I dealt with her.It was amazing with in a month she wasn't screaming a me anymore.Now I won't say it has been rosy since because she sill is easily frustrated but what I learned was hat by reducing her frustration in every way I could kept her anger in control some. I don't know if this is even close to what you are going through but I can tell you researching her problem and then trying to change the way you deal with her to adjust to her may benefit you. I hope this helps. Jas

As you already know, I wish there was something I could tell you to do with this kid I do hope she gets her act together, and SOON!

I am so sorry, but it seems like it will have to be out of your hands. You have tried and tried. Hopefully something will open her eyes soon. I feel for you. I hope you have someone to turn to in these hard times.

Well, first of all I must say that I am so sorry for your daughter treating you like this. Second of all, she needs a good old fashioned spanking! I know many people will disagree with me on this but I truly believe that kids are the way they are because they know all they have to do is say abuse and we can't do anything. I bet she would change her ways if she knew she would get spanked. Let's hope that the juvenile judge does something to control this kid. There is no way that if my daughter treated me like this that she would be living at home. I would have her in juvenile.

Erilyn I am so sorry that I am in this discussions so late - I seem to be so late for everything right now! Ok the picture doesn't show but that doesn't matter the fact that this has happened is more important than any picture! I am so sorry sweetheart and you know i am sending, love, hugs and prayers - wish I was closer and could give you some real support and hugs! You have done the right thing in calling the police and you have to stand firm and see things through. I think it is called tough love but above all you are a Mum and you want the best you can get for your daughter - that means that you have to follow through on whatever is needed to help her get over whatever is going with her - A mums job is to help their child make their life all it can be , not as easy as it can be! Please know that you can get in touch with me at any time - stand tall sweety and do not bend - you have lots of love coming your way! Hugs xxx

Erilyn, This is the second post that I have read from you, the first being yesterday or the day before. My heart breaks for you and I can only imagine the pain you are in. It is however time for you to go to what ever extremes necessary for her to make a dramatic change in order to have a future that is free from being in and our of jail for even petty issues and being on the road to a life of success. You and who ever she befriends or passes through life with, do not deserve the kind of treatment that she delivers, whether it be verbal and emotional abuse or the physical abuse that you have taken last night. I think it is time that the courts take over and when you go to court with her, as her mom or as the complaintant (spelling?) that you are completely honest about what happened and not try to defend her actions in any way. This is going to be a make it or break it situation. She may hate you for this now, but it is so important for her future. You can even state that you have run out of options on how to convince her how to behave with civility. She has lost all reason, and the fact that she shows no remorse and has no intention of turning to you for anything is a sign that is not good at all as you well know. I feel so very sorry for you. It will be difficult for you to see and know what she will have to go through to turn herself around. "Tough Love" is exactly that, very tough on those who have to administer it for the success of the people that they care about. There are so many things that we are not aware of that can turn our children into "monsters". In some cases in retrospect, it is obvious what has happened, but in other cases, it is just a baffling situation. I will pray for you and Kat and hope to read some positive news about you both in the very near future. Hugs to you.

I'm so sorry you're going through all this. How can we give love and get hate in return? I don't know the answers. Many years ago, I ran away from home. It never occurred to me to stay and keep fighting. Does Kat want to go? Maybe she should? I know it sounds horrible, but nobody deserves abuse, least of all a loving mother. You're in my prayers, always.

I am very sad that things seem out of control with your daughter. I am glad that you call the authorities tho. And you are in my thoughts and prayers.

I am sad so to read about your problem. It looks like you are handling her alone by your yourself. I think you have done enough at your capacity do protect. So it is time you let her go under the care of some professional trainer for teeage. Maybe you can send her to a juvenile detention camp for teeage where they have to go through a lot training on physical endurance as a means of caunseling. During this trainig she will to learn to survive on her own. You must refrain yourself from seeing her until she recovers. Dear members, are there any such training camp for teenager you can reckomend to Erilyn?

I know that there are kids like them. I'm just shocked that they could really hit their family member physically. I think she had a psychological problem. Sometimes it's a birth defects. I read that in in a health related books. Hard as it may seem she really needs a medical attention to treat her moods. To calm her. If she really start to hurt others and herself. It's better for her to be far away from you and put her somewhere where her ilness can have the right attention that it deserve. I'm praying for you and your daughters situation. May her situation will be better in the future. Please, have faith and don't lost hope. It's the only one you've got. I just wish i can hold your hand and say that everything will be alright. We can only give you encouragement, pray and comport you with our words. You must face this painful stage in your life bravely. Be strong and i know you are.

I am so sorry to hear this and I know you are hurting more on the inside than the bruises on the outside. I will be praying that she gets the help she needs and that God will give you the strength to deal with all this. As I was reading your post and have read several others I couldn't help but think this person might be bi polar - Do some research on the net and I will be praying for you. We are always here to give you support and you have many friends to turn to. God Bless.

Erilyn, again I am playing catch up. Now is the time for tough love. I have so been right where you are now with my middle son. If I could not protect him from himself and his self destructive ways. then someone else was going to have to. I went to the judge and the DCS myself to find help. My husband and I had to put him into a structured school setting so that he could get not only his education but counseling and behavior classes. We all participated in family counseling along with my child. he hated us for it. He told outlandish lies about us to strike back. Now one believed them, as he was clearly out of control. These are some of the things I want to talk to you about. I know also if you take this path the quilt you will suffer and I can be a great shoulder to lean on. My email address is angelwhispers@frontiernt.net use it.

Sounds like the best thing you can do for her and yourself is tell the judge exactly what you are telling of of us here. Tell him/her that you have tried everything you could, that nothing works, and go through with charges against her, tough to do, but it might just be what she needs to wake up and smell the coffee! And if she shows no remorse what so ever.....then let her face the consequences. Whether or not you should or shouldn't have done whatever it was after being pushed to that point by her is not important, what is important is the way she attacked you. If it were anyone else but her, would you gladly press charges against them? Well, show her that she needs to learn that you can't just do whatever you want without taking responsibility for your actions. Let the judge decide what her punishment will be, and although it might be hard, don't try to 'save her' from it. sounds like it is past time for some tough love.

erilyn I think your daughter might p ossibly be bi polar and needs to get immediate doctor help and possibly mental health help. she is acting irrationally and be bizzare also. You cannot handlethis by yourself and she needs medication to control her violent episodes. see your doctorand get some help at once. the way she is now she could even conceiveably kill you when she is out of control.

I'm so sorry its reached this point with your daughter. But, maybe this is what she needs. The juvenile system may be what it takes to straigten your daughter out. While its a scary thought, maybe if she spent some time in juvie she would learn from her behavior. I know it took a month on the streets for my son to "grow up" and learn from his mistakes. He now knows that the tough love I used was what he needed. I hope it all works out for you and your family.

Wow. I cannot imagine having to go through that. My kids are still little so unfortunately I have no advice other than prayer. God can work miracles if we let Him. Good luck to you.