Can I ask help from you?

@ayessa (1586)
Philippines
July 12, 2008 3:24am CST
I have started a discussion yesterday about a friend who really needed a big help. Since I can't able to give her the help she needed I think of asking help from others too. For those who does not know about my discussion yesterday this is the summary of it. I have a friend who has 6 children and just recently gave birth to a twins her husband has work but he earns so little that is not enough to feed them all. My friend does not have a work and both were not able to finish thier studies. They only have elementary diploma which is very impossible to look for a good paying job. Now I would ask some help from all of you guys. It can be in any form. May it be an advise or what I will appreciate it a lot. I am doing this not for myself but for the children cause I really feel for them. Thanks in advance!
2 people like this
12 responses
@amrishkj (297)
• India
12 Jul 08
You have not told where this family is. I mean which country??
1 person likes this
@ayessa (1586)
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
This family lives in a small room in the philippines. Though they are not renting it thay also need to pay the electricity and water that they consumed.
@ayessa (1586)
• Philippines
14 Jul 08
I was also suggesting adoption to her but she denied it. I also brought her to hospital to have a tubal ligation but she did not sign the waiver so the doctor will not be able to do the process. I guess that's all the help I can gave her.
@amrishkj (297)
• India
14 Jul 08
Its very sad to know that your friends doesnt want to give her children for adoption. If she can do that the next best thing would be to get some work as fast as possible otherwise her children may suffer from malnutrition.
@fwangaa (3058)
• China
12 Jul 08
i want to help them.but i have no many money.My fund has fall a lot. and i havs lossed several thousand RMB.i have bought a house that spend me 150 thousand RMB.and i aslo loaned 50 thousand RMB.i want to help you,but i don't know what to do for you! could you tell me that how i to do for you?
1 person likes this
@ayessa (1586)
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
Its all up to you. Thanks anyway!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
This is tough. They need financial capabilities to meet the needs of the family. If they wish to keep the children, I would suggest that they work double-time for it. I dont want to sound rude, but, this is the result of whatever decisions they took. With an elementary diploma, they can get blue collar jobs like sewing or contractual-based jobs that can feed the family. We were in the same situation when I was a kid. Mom and dad with elementary diploma, 5 children, etc. But my Mom and Dad supported the family by what they know best - making clothes. The wife can do sideline by learning manicure and pedicure or hair cutting. Both parents can go to the local government and ask about microfinancing. The Philippine government is big on this. They can sell in the market with whatever capital they can get. The government will also put them through financial budgeting in a small scale industry. Next step, upon reaching daily sustainability, both of them can go to TESDA, the Philippines' technical school and learn some skills that both of them can use to earn. Then, apply it. While doing all of these, both of them has to really plan and budget. lesser personal expenditure, more work and more pay. And, I would encourage them to go back to school and finish their education. I am sure, like my family, they will make it through. All they need is a positive outlook and hardwork. Good day, kind-hearted ayessa.
@ayessa (1586)
• Philippines
14 Jul 08
That was such a good suggestion coming from the one who experienced the same problem. This will be rally a big help to them. My friend also know to make clothes and do some manicure and pedicure so I think she can still take care of her children while doing these things at home. The only problem now is to have her a sewing machine which will help her in making clothes. Anyway thanks a lot.
• Philippines
17 Jul 08
They can start by working for a small-industry tailor shop. Again, my parents started this way. Then, they looked for second hand sewing machine. They had it as an installment and eventually made a living out of it. I am sure they will make it through. They can even start by investing a little amount of money for manicure and pedicure. Or they can look for micro-finance from the government. Good day!
@ayessa (1586)
• Philippines
17 Jul 08
Do you know a micro-finance here in the Philippines?
@akrockz (306)
• India
15 Jul 08
you would have got some good answers by now but anyhow i thought of giving mine.. first both of them should start working whatever the job may be.. just do the jobs you know well.. they shouldnot sit in home in such a condition.. first thing they need to concentrate is on the financial aspect.. then they should plan their daily budget and go for it.. they should educate their children without fail.. and in free time they can do some part time jobs too...
@ayessa (1586)
• Philippines
15 Jul 08
The husband has a work already but the woman has no work cause she can't able to leave the kids. Thanks anyway!
@Kanutchie (343)
• Philippines
14 Jul 08
three way help to your friend. first convinced your friend to ask doctor to ligate her as soon as possible bec she need a family planning to stop getting pregnant again. second do a little business which he can start at home. as what you have said a sewing machine may do, she can saw rags, matt, dresses,bag made of textile, wallet, short and he can do pants repair etc, or she can do sell ground meat, hotdog at home,she can stocks it on her refrigerator. Fund worth one thousand can do. in this simple way she can help her husband to feed their children and while their children are growing she can do this this step: she must go the nun office i think somwhere in bicutan they really accept children who wants to study . If she reach th e nuns office, she can tell them her problem that they dont have enough money for the study of their children. and they can only provide food to feed them. this association of the nun really accept the children who cant afford to study. or she can inquire to pldt directory the for the tell no. so she can locate the address. hope it my help thanks GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS FAMILY.
@ayessa (1586)
• Philippines
15 Jul 08
Thanks for that kanutchie! Her three eldest were already accpeted by the church to sponsor on thier studies. I think they were also getting 1 kilo of rice per day although its just an NFA rice it is a big help to them.
@magojordan (3254)
• Philippines
14 Jul 08
I think maybe it's about time they consider permanent family planning. Also if they don't mind they could ask help from their relatives too right? If they don't want to put their kids into adoption maybe they could try letting their other relatives adopt them. I think what actually inhibits them not to put their kids into adoption is that they don't know who will adopt them. I think that if it is done by a relative they wouldn't worry that much.
@ayessa (1586)
• Philippines
14 Jul 08
Yeah maybe that's their reason for not thinking of an adoption. Thanks!
@robert19ph (4584)
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
Hello ayessa, That's very kind of you to try and help your friend in need. You should be given a medal for trying. Anyway, the best way to help them is to stop them having more children. You can convince your friend to have a ligation so she don't have to give birth anymore and can concentrate on taking care of the children and looking for work. You are right, with only elementary diploma, they'll have limited opportunity to get a decent job. If they can read and write and speak English it is a plus. Maybe you can introduce them to online money earning. You can share your PC and internet connections with them it is possible. If a job is not possible, how about starting a small business. Buying and selling is a good way to earn something. You can let them borrow some capital from your earning here and help them put up a small store. This might work. Good luck and I hope I can be more of help too.
@ayessa (1586)
• Philippines
14 Jul 08
Thanks, I was planning to have a fund raising event for them to buy my friend a sewing machine which I know can help her in making clothes. I just hop ethat this will turn out good.
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
13 Jul 08
I'm not sure what you think strangers on the internet here can do to help. I sincerely hope you aren't thinking they will offer money. While you seem a kind and sincere person we really don't know that for a fact and people would be foolish to offer financial help to a stranger here. I'm sorry your friend is in this position, but it is very irresponsible of them to keep popping out children if they cannot afford to care for them. There are too many hungry mouths in the world to feed now. My advice? Tell your friend and her husband to use birth control from now on.
@ayessa (1586)
• Philippines
14 Jul 08
I know that most of here will think that I am asking from financial help but YOU ARE WRONG. I wouldn't dare do that to anyone. Specially to those STRANGERS. Thanks for that advice I appreciate it.
@checapricorn (16065)
• United States
13 Jul 08
How about seeking help to their parents or siblings..I am sure as a family, they are willing to assist them... What they need to do is just budget hard to what her husband is earning and maybe she can join MYlot for extra income when the babies are sleeping!
@ayessa (1586)
• Philippines
14 Jul 08
The parents of the man is also poor and they also eat when they have work but if they don't work they have nothing to put on the table. The girl was an orphan already. They bothhave no knowledge in computer and they can't afford to have nor rent PC.
@snowbitz (487)
• Philippines
12 Jul 08
God Bless you!! you are a good friend.I would suggest try to help them in any way you can may it be in financial or advice.And try to tell them stop making baby(hahaha) seriously speaking they are not the only one who will suffer its the children its unfair to the children they did not ask for this kind of situation.And maybe they could set up a small business.Or maybe if there is a vocational course for free let them attend one by one so that they can look for a better job in the end.I pity the children the parents are so immature they did not think of what will happen to their children.
@ayessa (1586)
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
That's is what I am trying to do but I also can't help them financially cause I also need some to pay my debt and I also have a baby that I need to support. Thanks for the response.
@rookiekan (883)
• China
12 Jul 08
why not ask help from the local goverment.if they can not help ur friends' family although actually they can,it's their negligence of duty,sue them.in addition,i completely believe that they can look for a job which could earn enough money to feed their children.there always be a corner in the ruin way,belief!!
@ayessa (1586)
• Philippines
13 Jul 08
That maybe differ from the government. Here in our country its really hard to ask help from the government and they only gave a little amount of money that will only fit for a day of food. I can't sue them too cause I don't have enough money to get a lawyer. Can you tell me what kind of job will a grade school graduate can get?
• China
13 Jul 08
I don't know which country are you in but no matter where you are, it is obviously that born so many children would sure cause many problem. I don't have many minds only wish you luck~~