In love with two people.....

I think you are take the risk of your Husband falling in love with this other woman. It is very risky. What if they get rid of you.? It is something to think about.

I have been in love with 2 men at the same time. But they couldn't stand each other, so the thought of having a relationship with both of them would have been a nightmare. I don't believe that anything is impossible when it comes to emotions. You could end up falling in love with this new woman, you could end up hating her. Same with your husband. I think it's very risky. Personally, there is just no way I could ever share my husband. I'm way too insecure for that! I'd be too afraid of being compared! Either way, I wish you the best of luck and hope whatever you decide it works out for you!

i haven't experience anything of this kind.. but i think that it is very inappropriate.. you can't love two persons both at the same time.. you maybe attracted but that does not mean that you are really in love.. although it will be alright at first.. time will come that you have to choose from the two and there will be someone that might get hurt.. i do believe that you don't want that to happen.. maybe as of know you are just confused or not contented because as you said you were the one initiating to have another girl in your relationship.. i really think that having another girl will evetually lead to a problem..

well. sometimes it is possible. You know I admire you and your hubby for having an open communication and trust to each other. It happens to me loving two guys who are closely related - they were cousins. thats the sad part. I lose the two of them so that nobody will be hurt. I miss the two of them

I think so much depends on how the others involved all feel about the situation. Your hubby sounds a bit worried and that makes me think that this may not be a good thing. I have never been in that situation. What I have heard from others that have is that more often than not someone will get jealous and it can all backfire. I do know of one lady that did this with another guy and amazingly her relationship has worked and they are soon getting married. She did not however, fall in love with the other guy. Not saying that it can't or won't work out for you as I know it happens...tread carefully.

What a discussion! Well I think obviously love has no definite quantity limits. As humans we are definitely capable of loving more than one person. I guess what I am having some difficulty understanding is that if you are happily married why is it that you are searching outside of your marriage for something else on an emotional level? It seems that your husband is pretty accomodating and open minded and is willing to do whatever it takes to make you happy and sustain your marriage. It would seem that you wouldn't have to go outside of your marriage for whatever your search is for. I definitely think there is way more at stake than a pre-discussion between your husband and you can predict. Even if the two of you decide that from an emotional standpoint that you can handle this, it could be quite different once the wheels start rolling. And emotions just aren't that predictable. Neither of you can be sure where your feelings will end up. And definitely you can't be sure where it end up for the third persons feelings will go. If your marriage is as happy as you say and you love your husband as you say, are you willing to risk this for a fantasy? I'm also wondering if you have even remotely thought of the possiblity that though this is your idea, it could end up that you are on the losing end? Have you considered that the new girl and your husband could end up being the two in love? Or what happens if shortly after you realize that the thrill is gone for you desire for this undertaking and your husband then somehow feels that he now has your permission for another person in the relationship? Wow, I could go on and on about the what if's. I think at the end of the day I just would not be willing to subject a good relationship and marriage to the possibilities. Of course this is just my opinion.

I think it is entirely possible to be in love with two people at once. In college, for about a year I was involved with both a guy and a girl who were not involved with each other, but would gang up on me if I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing as far as my health or something like that. I think the most important thing in polyamorous relationships is honesty and rule setting. Once you make the rules, don't break them. No matter how tempted you might be. I also think it's important to ask yourself, as I did, could I possibly love this person anymore if they were my only person? I can to the conclusion that I couldn't and so it was ok with me to be with two people. I don't know how I would have felt if I would have realized I could have been a better girlfriend to only one person. I'm glad this wasn't the case.

I do know if that is possible but I guess it's happening...I have not known anyone in real life who experienced that but I heard from people.... Classifying it as bad or not depends on one's personality,culture and belief and for me, that is the thing that I can't and will not do!

What your husband said was a joke. He's still the luckiest man in the world for having a wife like you, wanting to give him a threesome! Believe me, divorce is the least of his worries right now! Man, some guys have all the luck!

When you bring a third party into your most intimate relationship you are forming a bond with that person and, yes, you could fall in love with her and decided that you want to be with her more than you want to be with your husband. Or your husband could fall in love with her. I understand wanting variety in your life but why include a third party into the emotional part of your relationship? That can ultimately lead to pain for at least one of the parties involved so is it worth it?

Yeah that would be pretty bad. People aren't built to love that way. Confusion will eventually set in, and the problem with confusion is that you can't be sure of what side she will take.

Hey fafinette, I don't think it's possible to be "IN LOVE" with 2 people. You may have love for them both, but if you were really and truly "in love" you wouldn't do anything to hurt either one of them. When you are in love with someone you would never say or do anything that would cause that person pain. Being "in love" with 2 people would definitely be painful for these people. So I think you might think you are "in love" with them, but I don't personally think that it's possible.

I thought that I was in love with 2 men at the same time. I was very young, just married, and I found out, in time, that my marriage had some problems that I just didn't want to face. It took me a long time to figure this out, after a painful divorce from my husband. By the time that I got divorced, I knew that loving this other guy was just my chicken-s--- way of ignoring a problem. It's my personal belief that we should all be free to choose whom to love, but sometimes family and friends have other ideas. Good luck to you.

I guess that's possible and is a normal thing, but still you have the control over that. You have to choose only one. Think of who makes you happy and who would be there for you for the rest of your life through thick and thin. Maybe you are just confused right now and would love adventure. Think a million times cos if you have lost your husband, that would be a total pain...