What should I do to help my friend?

China
July 13, 2008 7:03pm CST
Luo is my best friend.He lived upstairs.He and I played and grew up together like peas and carrots. So did his father and mine. We share many habbits and interests, such as football. However, Luo and I were different people and destined to go in seperate directions. When in junior school, I worked very hard on my study while he was a little lazy and spent much time hanging out with friends rather than reading a book.As a result, we went to different high schools(Of course,mine is better).Then now I'm at university while he is in a sucked technical college.I don't think he is fond of the idea of being a automobile technician. I tried many times to persuade Luo to toil for his own dreams instead of to waste his precious youth.But my effort was usually of little use.Gradually,we tacitly avoided talking about that when we were together. Luo's problems still exist.As a friend, I really want to help him.But what should I do?
2 people like this
17 responses
@yenwie84 (1345)
• Malaysia
14 Jul 08
Since you already advised your friend for so many times but he still could not figure out the problem himself,I think you should let him be. As a friend,maybe you can give him supports and give him some time. I think he is big enough to think about his own future.
@magojordan (3254)
• Philippines
14 Jul 08
As a best friend the least you could do now is to actually let him do what he wants but make sure that he is still being lead to the right path. If you think your efforts are of no use to him, surely he'll realize one day that what all you said was true and when that happens just be there to support him all the way. Best wishes to you and your best friend!
• China
14 Jul 08
Thanks for your response and your wishes. Have a nice day!
14 Jul 08
Hello tyt2222006, You cannot help him as much as you want to ,each of has to find our own destiney and no matter what you do you cannot map his, all you have to do leave him alone to find his own way in life but be there for him when he needs you. We all want our friend to do well in life but if they go another way that is their life just you live your own life and stop worry about your friend he will be o.k. Tamarafireheart.
• China
14 Jul 08
Thanks for your response. I think I have known what I need to do now. Have a nice day!
• Colombia
14 Jul 08
I have some friends in the same situations, some of them study in a good university, but they don'y take advanntage of that opportunity... I've tried to help them... BUT it is not possible, they don't want to listen... that's a problem that just them should solve, they should realize their situation... because it's difficult that they beleive what you say to them.
• China
14 Jul 08
Thanks for your reponse. There are always something that we see is happening,but we are powerless to help... Have a good day.
@alori61 (344)
• United States
14 Jul 08
I think Luo is a big boy and needs to make his own choises in his life. Just because you chose a certain path does not mean it is right for him. Maybe as a friend the best thing you can do is let him live his life the way he chooses. As hard as it is to allow those we love to make mistakes sometimes we have to. Just because you don't agree with his choosen path does not mean you can not still be his best friend.
• China
14 Jul 08
Thanks for your response. Maybe you are right. "As a friend the best thing you can do is let him live his life the way he chooses." Have a good day.
@akrockz (306)
• India
15 Jul 08
Well, it happens everywhere tyt2222006.. Your friend should be brilliant enough to choose his path.. this is his life and he should be more careful.. at this age whatever others say, he cant accept it straight away bcoz nobody wants to hear advices.. Instead he should come down and ask some help or assistance.. you just do your work as a friend.. tats it.. have a nice day.. CHEERS!!!
• United States
14 Jul 08
I also have two friends whom I played and grew up togther just like you and your friend. We chose different ways to develop. One went to a famouse university and got the degree of Master. Another one went to a technical college, after graduated she can live by herself. The other one just finished her high school but also got her ideal job. We are still good friends. We can't say who is right and better. Just let them choose their own path and be friends.
• Malaysia
14 Jul 08
that person that you say should be "big boy" right now, he should know what is the best for him. You should support him from the back.
• Malaysia
14 Jul 08
I think he has his own reason of choosing to continue to be like that. As a friend, u already advised him. What u can do is giving some support for his choise. Give the helping hand if he is in trouble in future. He is lucky to have u as friend .. He will be just fine.. no worry
@kaesta (37)
• Kenya
14 Jul 08
let him kno wthat you ask him coz you care and not that you feel you are in a better position.
@roanne05 (1291)
• Oman
14 Jul 08
it would be up to your friend only. .ou already done your part as a friend. the ball is in his court now. just guide him when he ask you too. good luck,
@NYANJURU (57)
• Kenya
14 Jul 08
It is a difficult situation you are in but i am sure you have done your best. Be there for him because I know if he does not follow your advice, tough times are still ahead of both of you and he will need your shoulder to lean on. Be happy and thankful that you are a good and wise head on your shoulders and that God has favoured you with knowledge and wisedom. He will come around one day with your help. You are what friends are made of. bravo!!!!!!
@maxilimian (3099)
• Indonesia
14 Jul 08
Well, i think that both of you were different, did you know what his dream really is? Luo has choose his path in his life, you as Luo friend can only give him a suggesstion and support him for what he wants to be, let he decide his choice maybe something sounds good to you might not good for him, by supporting him you already help him ^_^ Give him a suggestion when he facing a problems in his middle of the "road"
14 Jul 08
I don't understand! what are his problems? Not everyone should go to university. Everyone os different, different skills and aptitudes. And if he has a trade he will have job security and probably end up earning more money than you.
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
14 Jul 08
I think the best way to help him out is to encourage him to work hard and complete the course that he has taken up. Its important that he completes it rather than getting stuck with it and then dumping it. He may find this interesting and make a career out of it.
• Philippines
14 Jul 08
i know how it feels to want to reach a friend but just resists it. if you've already talked about it to him, and he doesn't want to listed, then i think you've already done your part as a friend. if he refuses to be helped, then we couldn't do anything more. it is not our responsibility anymore.
• United States
14 Jul 08
I can definitely relate to your friend. I got my work done correctly in school, but I never worked on things longer than I had to. But I was more into games and television and stuff. And now I'm not even sure what I want to do with my life. So I think the best thing is to just leave him to his own needs. You can force him to do something that he may or may not be interested in. If he really wanted a different kind of life he'd already be trying to make something of himself now. The best thing to do is let him go at his own pace.