go home,go home

Why don't you want to go home, it sounds as if you have a loving family support system and I can tell that your mother misses you so much.. My only son got married last December and moved about 50 miles away, so it wasn't easy to get to see him.. I almost went crazy missing him and trying to get used to him being gone.. He has since had to move back in with us, he lost his job, so now we have him and his wife.. Maybe just a short visit, as I am telling you this from a mother's point of view, she probably really misses you so much and even a short visit will help her to feel better.. Give it a try, I lost my mother about 15 months ago and I would give almost anything to get to go and see her once again.. Good Luck to you in whatever decision you make..