why hide pregnancy?
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
United States
July 16, 2008 2:12am CST
now i know you prob thinking something different but im talking about when the people already know they are keeping it but quickly plan a wedding and then try to act like their conceived on their wedding night.. i know a lot people think that they should at least get married if they get pregnant which thats ok and their decision but why act you never were pregnant before when you know that in 5 months you will pop out a kid and people will do the math and realize you were trying to deceive everyone? i know some one that had her kids like "MONTHS" early and it was 10lbs and fully matured and they said it was premature because if you had done the math they hadnt been married long enough! is it better for people to try to fool every one when they get married or for people to just already know and then they get married? (this is of course if they want to get married to begin with) i know there are cultures that they have to get married but to me its going to bring "Scandal" no matter what so why lie??
but this is me an american and i dont know other cultures so im not trying to disrespect anyone and if they are required to marry or if its their choice which ever that is ok i just dont get the whole secret thing.. i would think there would be more shame in trying to cover it up.. which do you guys think?
3 people like this
14 responses
@ivylrc (57)
• United States
16 Jul 08
i got pregnant 4 years ago with my boyfriend, we didn't hide it for it was not the best thing to do, it will be known by everyone so why hide, we didn't got married right away due to family issues, my father got angry with me, so we decided not to get marry while things are on rough and tough, our family and us survive the scandal, we got married when my baby was 2 years old (last year only), for us it is not a reason to get married if you got pregnant, the reason you got married is because you love each other, don't give the reason to the baby, she's innocent give her what she needs is what important
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
17 Jul 08
i wish people would think about what would be best for their kids and not marry for that and stay married for them since i think its worse for a kid to be stuck in a family where their parents hate eachother than with a single parent
@guybrush (4658)
• Australia
17 Jul 08
In this day and age in Australia it's certainly not looked upon as a scandal or shameful in any way - in fact, a huge percentage of people choose to live together and have children without getting married - or they get married after having the children! Maybe in some cultures it's still perceived as shameful - or maybe people don't want to upset older relatives who may have a more traditional view of such things. I suppose people have many reasons for not admitting they have already conceived a child before marriage - but it's their business and I wouldn't judge them.
3 people like this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
17 Jul 08
thats awesome!! in the US they seem to go back and forth on damning it and accepting it
1 person likes this
@guss2000 (2232)
• United States
16 Jul 08
I don't understand the point of hiding your pregnancy if you are more than just a few weeks along and are getting married. If a person is FAR along, and get married and try to say that they didn't get pregnant until after they were married, people are going to know that they were lying. If you are a month or less pregnant, then they could probably pull it off, but not anymore than that.
If it were me, I would jsut be honest up front and I DEFINITELY would not hide the truth to my doctor in regards to my conception date. They need to know the truth, regardless.
2 people like this
@guss2000 (2232)
• United States
17 Jul 08
Yeah really! Just tell the truth... now a days people don't really judge you for getting pregnant before marriage. It happens alot. It's not the best thing in the world, but it happens so much it's common now, and not like a Scarlet Letter.
1 person likes this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
17 Jul 08
i just love when the people wait till their like 3+ months along.. like thats gonna fool anyone that can do math lol
1 person likes this
@blackmantra_x (2732)
• Philippines
17 Jul 08
good day.. good question and my guess is that it depends on what type of environment you're grown up with. In some country like ours, it's quite "conservative" the alter definition of it is "hypocrite" and since this is a country of high unemployment rate the past time of most woman is gossip. Imagine all your neighbors would look at you and whispers among themselves or when you go to a store, you will see them in group talking about something and when you approach they stop. I know it's just gossip, maybe one can stand it for several days or even weeks but for months I don't think so. It's just sad that because of poverty, lack of education and employment, people would resolve to mocking other people just to say that others are more miserable than them and give them some sort of euphoria. That's one of the reasons here why unwed mothers tend to heid their pregnancy until after the wedding day.
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
25 Jul 08
yeah after awhile all those mind games and mental abuse could break some one
@iskayz (5420)
• Philippines
16 Jul 08
Hi there!
I think thats happening everywhere. Here in my country couples are like that too. They hide if they get pregnant and they're not yet married. Then suddenly after marrying they give birth and thats when rumors will come out. People are very curious when it comes to secrets of other people.
I think its much better if they don't hide getting pregnant unmarried. People will understand more if you tell them the truth. And the fact that there is no secret there is nothing to talk or rumored about.
Ciao! 
I think thats happening everywhere. Here in my country couples are like that too. They hide if they get pregnant and they're not yet married. Then suddenly after marrying they give birth and thats when rumors will come out. People are very curious when it comes to secrets of other people.
I think its much better if they don't hide getting pregnant unmarried. People will understand more if you tell them the truth. And the fact that there is no secret there is nothing to talk or rumored about.
Ciao! @moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
17 Jul 08
its so silly.. makes you wonder if they think that people will figure it out or not.. surely they arent so stupid to think it will fool people
1 person likes this
@jlaparece (51)
• Philippines
16 Jul 08
May be when your not yet married you really hide about your pregnancy because you dont want people to think that you are immoral. I am just happy because I am really proud when I was pregnant.
3 people like this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
17 Jul 08
everyone should be able to be proud when pregnant.. i think its awful when people cant be happy about being pregnant because they are getting harassed for all kinds of other reasons
1 person likes this
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
17 Jul 08
I think that a lot of people hide pregnany because of the way they THINK people will judge them, or perhaps hey are in a situation where people really WILL judge them. Me? I don't give a darn what people think, and I'm not going to hide anything!!
2 people like this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
25 Jul 08
its sad that people feel they have to care or really care enough to where it would really ruin their lives based upon some stupid persons judgmental attitude
@greysfreak (1384)
• United States
20 Jul 08
I definitely think that it would be better for a person to just be open about it, because if people are going to figure it out anyway, why not? I really don't see anything wrong with being pregnant before marriage, but I know a lot of people do think it's wrong, so I can see the pressure to hide. But like you said, it's just messy later on! Especially if someone is planning on getting married anyway, I don't see what a few months difference makes. 
@greysfreak (1384)
• United States
20 Jul 08
yea! seriously. I don't think it's really good for the baby to grow up with parents who are just together because of a pregnancy. The only way is, if they broke up because they were too childish and silly about fighting, then maybe they could get counseling and work things out, but if things were really bad I'd say that it's a bad idea for someone to get married just because they are pregnant!
1 person likes this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
20 Jul 08
its so stupid when people are already broken up and then they all of a sudden get married and then you find out that was why.. you know that relationship is gonna be interesting..
1 person likes this
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
19 Jul 08
I can kind of see what you are getting at.
People are not stupid so why pretend they are.
They will just count backwards and do the math.
I get it!
But, there are situations where a man and woman
don't want to reveal the conception date of their child
to the world.
And when MOST people won't know the difference.
The only people that would do the math are the ones
who are busy bodies and way too over involved in other
people's lives.
It's not that hard to keep the conception date of a child
a secret.
And if a woman wants to keep that a secret for her own
mysterious reasons, then it should be OK and her family
should mind their own business and stay out of it.
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
20 Jul 08
but if they are MONTHS off it would be obvious.. if it was like 1 month i dont think people would figure it out..
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
• United States
16 Jul 08
I wouldn't be like that. I'd already had a child before I met my husband, but when I got pregnant by him for the first time, his parents tried to rush us into marriage. They wanted us married before the birth of the baby, but I wasn't having it. We ended up getting married 6 months after the birth of my twins.
2 people like this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
17 Jul 08
i think its better after they are born.. then people know you are marrying because you want to not became your about to give birth at any second.. but who cares what people think anyways lol
@patzel88 (3310)
• Philippines
20 Jul 08
in my case i never hide my pregnancy because my parents know that i am pregnant and not yet married. My parents accepted my fault so the important there is my baby and not the people, whatever they put me down its ok as long as my parents supports are always be there when i needed them.
1 person likes this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
20 Jul 08
your very lucky that your parents have been there for you
@Vladilyich1 (1454)
• Canada
16 Jul 08
My first divorce took 14 months to be finalized. We were separated for that entire time. Two months before the finalization, my ex gave birth. She told the judge he was mine. The judge believed her.
I can count on my fingers, but evidently the judge couldn't.
2 people like this
@intimate36 (1415)
• Pakistan
16 Jul 08
they do this to avoid a scandal,and it is human nature.Few of us do have courage to accept it in public
2 people like this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
17 Jul 08
sad that a lot of people just arent strong enough to admit the truth.. and that there are people that act like the truth is horrible!!
@Amanda81587 (3042)
• United States
16 Jul 08
ummm i was 17 when i got pregnant first so obviously I couldn't do the marry thing. But where I come from people don't care if you are married because chances are you won't be married for that long.
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
17 Jul 08
yeah in most places you have to have your parents sign off on you at that age. my parents had to on me
