How Do You Deal with the Knowledge of a Loved One Dying

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A dear member of the mylot community recently suffered the death of her husband. To respect her privacy I will not name her. I wonder how I would deal with caring so long for someone and then slowly watching them die, and then ultimately seeing them pass away. Many of you know how my Aunt Ruth had colon cancer, stage four, and now there is no trace of it. I am very grateful for that miracle. My grandfather (I call him Papaw), who has had dementia, caused by many mini strokes over the years, is the only grandfather I have ever known (my other one died when I was 6 months old). Before my dad and I grew closer over the years, Papaw was was the main support I got from a father figure. He was so patient, and so kind with my sister and I, as well as with my cousin. He is in the argumentative stage of dementia, and my grandma is struggling to take care of him. I'm not sure how much longer she can, seeing as she needs a hip replacement, but won't do it because it would take too long for her to recover and still see to my grandpa. We live three hours away, but my mother and I offered to come down and stay while she recovered if she had the surgery. She wouldn't hear of it though. But my Papaw is still so sweet to me, and he is still funny, even though he himself really doesn't get jokes anymore. His devotion to his family and friends over the years set for me a wonderful example. I hate to say I fail to have the grace he has always exuded. But he has been diagnosed with skin cancer, and they think he also has another form of cancer, although I won't mention the kind because we aren't sure he has it yet. His heart is barely hanging in there, but he is a fighter, so he is not only enduring, but he does it without complaining. His personality has changed due to the dementia, but he is still the light of my life. As much as it hurts to see him like this, I know it kills my mom (his daughter) more. She's a class act just like him. My focus is to be a postive force for my mom and grandma. I want to encourage them through this, and I want to help in any way I can. I don't know if I'm going about it exactly how they need the support, but I know I'm doing everything I can think of. I wonder if you could tell me about how you have been or are going about dealing with the impending death of a loved one? I can't imagine how it would be to lose a child, and I won't pretend to have the understanding of the horror it would be. So you don't have to share if your story is painful. But I'd like to know if you have any suggestions or tips on what you think my Papaw, grandma, and mom need in way of support right now. I regularly send cards and call my grandmother. I visit her and Papaw whenever my parents go down there because I'm not able to drive that far by myself (for disability reasons). I am open to any all suggestions, and if you would like to share your own experience I would be more than willing to listen. : )