Isnt it a bit weird??

what do you look like? - identity is very different in any given situation
@bjcyrix (6910)
Philippines
July 20, 2008 4:59am CST
When you have a mental image of your myLot friend or a certain myLot user but only to find out that your thoughts on how he/she might look like is completely off the mark?? I mean with myLot and other sites we dont need to post our real photos and most people really dont wanna post their real photos so thats the use of avatars. In places like myLot, our avatars are our faces. As time goes on, we develop friendships and we cant help but wonder how others look like behind the avatars. Its easy when the user has his/her real face in the avatars but its a different thing for those who dont. I guess we base our mental images of others by the tone of their words, how they type or even what are on their profiles. I had a clear mental image on how a myLot friend looks like and even think of that mental image when we chat. But recently I saw a real photo of this friend and boy was I wrong. Now, it feels a bit weird and definitely needs some getting used to. Have you experienced this? Did it change the way you look at them or how you might act around them? Thanks!
3 people like this
6 responses
@ratyz5 (7829)
• Philippines
20 Jul 08
[i]I have experienced this kind of scenario before but, it was at another site when I wasn't yet an active member here in myLot. It was during my dA days when submitting art works would get you comments about how they would fair on other member's point of view, be it straight forward or not, mention something related to the work which would often lead to other discussions due to continuous replies. They would often grant you compliments but, there are also critiques which I am also thankful for. Well, in that site, I often had exchanges with a particular member, be it in journals or submissions of work. She gave me that kind of impression that I was younger than her due to her replies or responses having equivocality. My mental image of her was someone who would have her hair tied to either a bun or in a ponytail, perhaps with glasses and would seem like that type that you can expect at office settings. Yet, that image that I thought of her didn't comply to most of the photos I saw of her when I eventually went to her profile just to thank her for adding me among her list of friends. Not only the image but, as I skimmed through her profile page, I found out that I was rather older than her. However, even though that image that I have established to associate her with was totally debunked, I still interacted the same way. [/i] It just goes to show that with different people that we meet, be it in real life or even through the net, we tend to have different personalities that we portray to particular individuals that we come along by. I mean, even I know that I tend to act differently depending on the group of people that I'm with at a particular situation.
@bjcyrix (6910)
• Philippines
24 Jul 08
LOL! I found out that I was rather older than her. That must have been something huh?Hate it when that happens. Makes me feel a lot older than I really am.. Yep, we do have different personalities given different situations. With the net its all about what we think. Sometimes I think people are more "who they are" in the internet rather than how they are in real life.(Whatever.LOL!) I still interact with the friend the same way but I guess I just need to shift my mental image to the real one. It just needs some getting used to I guess.
1 person likes this
@ratyz5 (7829)
• Philippines
25 Jul 08
Hahaha to find out that they could give us impressions of being more grown and mature from their responses and interaction with us yet, get surprised when we eventually realize the reality of it all. Indeed, we're all 'minds' in the net which seems more personal than actual images that may stray us with our impressions. Yeah, we often go to sites in the net that we also get along with. In reality, if given a comparison, such places are really out of reach so we end up acting differently and with inhibitions just to get along with the current suiituations that we are in. You'll get used to it eventually.
@bjcyrix (6910)
• Philippines
25 Jul 08
yep, why do people have the common misconception that taller = older?tsk3 Good thing in the net its more on thoughts but I think Im getting the vibe that mature thinking = mature in person(as in age). I guess no matter where we are there will always be impressions (correct or not). Im starting to get used to it.
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25475)
• India
25 Jul 08
bj I quite agree with you. the whole world of internet is so dubious and full of fake identities and falsehood that we are hesitant to believe in and give in. So, even when someone is truthful we start to doubt his dispositions. I remember, once I had friendship with a girl from other country who was very sweet and bubbly. She was spirited and full of life. I thought she was about in post teens. But to my surprise I found out tat she was about 40! But then it was me to blame only. It was my mis perception for she never told that she was younger. I never asked. As for myself I am mostly truthful and whatever I decide to confide I tell it true and if not I ignore the topic. I think its better to not to tell than to tell a lie. And dear, the photos which I have posted are mine, truly mine. lol....
1 person likes this
@bjcyrix (6910)
• Philippines
25 Jul 08
Yes, you are right about telling the truth rather than lying. Oh, so thats what you look like. I havent seen your photos because I usually dont look at other people's photos unless prompted to do so. I must say you look a lot younger than your age. You know? You actually look like one of the actresses here in our country. Maybe you are an actress in your place as well? I guess our age doesnt dictate our personalities. Thanks so much for the response and for sharing your experience. Have a great weekend!^_^
@mimpi1911 (25475)
• India
26 Jul 08
Wow, I am thrilled by your compliments!!! Thanks dear. You know what, I actually look younger, quite younger than my age and that's a problem sometimes. I do not want to be treated as someone who's younger. I feel one should age gracefully and live the age. Each stage of life has to be felt and every phase has a nice feel to it. Now, I have changed the way I dress to look older! My friends tease me for this but really want to look my age. Thanks dear.
@bjcyrix (6910)
• Philippines
2 Aug 08
You're welcome. You are right about aging gracefully. Just live life the way you feel. Have a great weekend!
@freedomg (1684)
• United States
5 Aug 08
I haven't had this happen yet but I do wonder what some people look like. I don't think it would change the way I acted towards them because I treat people all pretty much the same as they treat me. I'm pretty simple that way. You'll adjust to the new look and all will go back to normal.
@bjcyrix (6910)
• Philippines
5 Aug 08
yeah its kinda like the new layout of myLot. Its bit weird at first but once you get used to it everything will be back to normal. Thanks for the response.^_^
@anex08 (868)
• Philippines
25 Jul 08
Yes, I do wonder how my friends here in mylot look likes but I try to figure it out through responses/post or messages. But I cannot say exactly what they are, It's all about the comments that they give to me that I made out a basis of figuring the personality. It's enjoyable right? I even keep a journal for those which really attracts my attention.
@bjcyrix (6910)
• Philippines
25 Jul 08
Same here. I mean on how we form our mental images of our friends. You keep a journal?really?Surprising how people in myLot really affects others right? Thanks for responding. Have a fun weekend!^_^
@penny64 (1106)
• Australia
4 Aug 08
I always imagine people to look exactly like their avatars. That's why when they change avatars, it's like they've had major plastic surgery - like in the soaps where people turn into completely different actors. Seriously, I often feel quite shy meeting someone face to face even if I know them very well over the phone. I always have a mental image, and it's always wrong.
@bjcyrix (6910)
• Philippines
4 Aug 08
I agree with you. Or at least in a sense that I identify other users through their avatars and it does feel strange if they suddenly change their avatar. Sometimes we recognize users by their avatars and not their usernames right? Your shy? I cant imagine that.^_^ You're always so funny that other people would just want to be near you trying to catch every quip that you say.^_^ I guess everyone has a mental image whether they like it or not. I have a confession to make. when I see you're avatar I see a gray stuffed lion thats smiling. Kinda like a sock puppet of some sort. Only a few minutes ago upon closer look on your profile that its the pic of a bird!(dont know what kind of bird though, ostrich maybe?LOL) Ive always seen it as the birds eyes are the lions ears, the nose holes are the lions eyes, the lining of the beak were the lions smile and the tip of the birds beak is the lions nose.LOL! Just goes to show that appearances can be deceiving. Thanks for responding.^_^
1 person likes this
@penny64 (1106)
• Australia
4 Aug 08
That is really interesting ... I can see what you mean about my avatar and how you saw a different face. It does look like a sock puppet lion! The picture is actually of an emu, which is an Australian bird a little like an ostrich, so your guess about type of bird is pretty spot on.
@bjcyrix (6910)
• Philippines
5 Aug 08
thought it was an emu because Ive always known that ostriches have light colored heads (white and flesh maybe?) Im not really sure but glad to know my guess was somehow correct.^_^ You own emus? that is a really close up pic of it. Never seen one for real, wouldve loved to.^_^
1 person likes this
@metschica25 (5405)
• United States
5 Aug 08
Hello , I always wonder sometimes what mylot friends look like . I like when there are pics , because then you can put a face with them . I think it has alot to do with trust here on the lot . There are more people on here that do have pics of who they are , and just not as a icon . You know when I first joined I had a butterfly picture , and now I like to switch it up .
@bjcyrix (6910)
• Philippines
5 Aug 08
Oh! That is a really good take on it. REveal your true self when you've established some sort of deep level of trust. Yeah Ive seen it around and wondered where it went. REcognized your user name though.^_^ Thanks for the response!^_^