Parents in an old age home...?

While it might be hard to accept the idea alokn, sometimes, it's the best alternative for families. We never dreamed our parents would end up in Senior Care either, but sometimes the circumstances leave no other choices. We allowed our parents to live in their home until it was no longer safe for them. During this time, we had 2 different shifts of special needs nurses inside the home almost 24 hours a day. It finally got to the point where there was no alternative but to place them into Senior Care. We investigated several locations in our own community and finally ended up placing them in a facility several miles away. It was the only one we were assured they would be well taken care of and receive the best care. While it's hard to accept, sometimes, it's the only choice.

Alok, it is a real pity that some people do not hesitate to send their parents to old age home. It is feels disgusting to me. I would never ever do it, come what may. If you have seen the movie 'Lage raho Munna Bhai', the very issue was raised very effectily in that movie. Now you are telling the same story from a real life incident. That fellow, who left his mother at old age home, perhaps would have forgotten that one day, he will be as old as his mother and if his children sends give him the same treatment, how would that fellow feel.

This is sad! I cannot see this happening under any circumstances. Just imagine the plight of the parent who has to leave his/her family after all that he/she does for it! This is an unhappy thing in our society. I heard that a law is to be implemented where the parents would have the right to the children's property as well! And the Children would have to look after their parents. This is a good idea, the effectiveness is cloudy though in a society like ours. However, having said this, I know of a family where the widowed mother opted for the old home and is very happy there. It was her choice and both the son, his wife, kids and her have wonderful understanding among them! Sadly, this is but an exception.

Hi, I think that depends on the situation. As long as your parents are healthy and are able to look after themselves, they should not need to go to an old age home. And when they have troubles taking care of themselves and you have the time and don't live to far away. You take care of them. When there is no one living close by, and when you have a big family yourself or a good job.There would be no one to look after them. And if they are sick and need medical help. I would talk them into a home. But, I will try to put it in such a way that they think they made the decision themselves. Right know I am in a terrible situation. My parents are 70 and 74 living in Holland. I am 42, living in Berlin. I bought the house they are living in, with them together. Financially we cannot afford that house anymore. I am an only child. I love it here in Berlin and don't want to live in Holland again. They are trying to make me come back home. This way I will be able to pay everything and still have nothing left over for me. Don't I have a right to live my life? I tried living there , did that for more or less 10 years.(27 to 40 years old) I felt like a kid. I was being treated as a kid. Always needing to say where I am going. Can not take any friends home, or I will be judged on my bad pick of friends. A lot of negative stress. I love my parents, but hay, I need some air. But, I will try to help the best I can. Take care.

Hello,I don't understand what makes the youngsters of today to send the parents in their old age to Old Age Home or Nursing Home run by the NGOs or private people.how they forget all their sacrifice for their education,health care,and everything.they should understand that what they are doing today for their old parents they will one day face the same problem in their old age.their children will also send them to the old age home.this culture should be banned.fortunately the government of India have enacted law for punishment to the sons of the abandoned parents.I think in India such things may not happen to the older people.thanx.

I could not let my parents live in an old age home. They have raised me and given me everything over the years and are great parents; doing that to them is a slap in the face. After everything, you just throw them away for strangers to watch them. I would rather take care of my parents, healthy or sick than have other people take care of them, not knowing how they are being treated. Thats my opinion.

i don't think that i can do that for my parents. i don't know even why i can't do that. if i can't survive with them i can leave away for sometime. that is my dream that i want to bye a home for my mother because we don't have our personal home. how can i have my mother to stay in and old age home.

I think that old age homes are necessary evils. And I don't mean that in a wrong way. I would rather keep my parents with me. My Dad passed away many years ago and my Mom is still living. She is 87 and is in a wheelchair. She gets around great and lives in her home with my brother. Now to address the old age homes. Sometimes a person wants to take care of their parents or parent as the case may be and is not able to. Due to a few things. There being a lot of lifting to help the parent out of the chair and help them go to the bathroom. Different things like that. Or the person has a schdule where they are required to be at work for many hours. Not enough room in the home. Those are just a few that come to mind. The biggest thing is when a loved one is put in a home to continue visiting regularly and phoning and even sending them a card saying that they are loved. I worked in a nursing home and it was a sad thing. There were many people there that had no visitors and they had family that lived close by. There was one person that his son lived right in town. And he wasn't the only one like that there were many and it tore me up to see this. These people don't deserve to be done this way. I can understand having to put them in a old age home what I don't understand is the person and family not coming to visit them regularly. That is the sad part of a old age home.

this is really a big problem in modern families. Actually, a lot of sons and daughters find that they cannot get along with their parents because of the generation gap. this problem always cause conflicts. Finally, they cannot bear and then send their parents to the old age home.This situation can be understood. But some did this just because they are unfilial.this should be fustigated

I had to put my dad in a nursing home about 6 years ago. I was worried about him living alone with his health problems. It was the hardest decision of my life but I did it out of love for my dad. I was a nursing assistant in the same nursing home that my dad was in, so we still got to see each other daily and we used to take our meals together. Now that my dad is deceased, I treasure those moments that I had with him. Sometimes it is for the best that you put your parents in a nursing home because of their health and that you know someone is there looking out for them when you can't be. If they are able to live independently, that is great. Check out the nursing homes or old age homes carefully if you have to make that decision, ask questions and take a tour with your parents.

Hi Alokn99, I agree with you 100%. Unfortunately I don't have any parents :-( but if I did I would never even contemplate a nursing home. I work for an agency where we train Nurse Aides and LPNs and I've heard horror stories about the treatment of patients at nursing homes. Many, many, young ladies and men too, that have trained for this type of job have opted for something other than nursing because of the people (nurses & aides) who have demonstrated disdain for the elderly...even supervisors!! I have told my daughters many times: if I ever get too old where I cannot take care of my own basic needs I will truly "check myself out of life"!! By the way, I read all the responces you received and am soooooooooooo happy to see that many would NOT place their parents or parent in a home!! Kudos to them and you too!! ~G~

Good day.. I can't imagine myself to leave my parents in home for the aged. I just can't I'd rather cut my time from every possible way I can even from mylot and take care of her than put her in there. Putting her there is also like killing a part of me. I love her and I can't bear to leave her. If ever her time would come I want to be there for her and hold her till her last breath.

It is also against my will to put my parents in a home for the aged place. As a som it is a responsibility to take care of their parents in return no matter how poor or cruel your situation is. I just hope some people would do the same thing to their parents. No matter how bad or naughty theur parents have been. :D

Oh gosh, I wouldn't want to place my parents in an old age home; unless they need medical care that I'm not qualified for, but then, that would be a nursing home. Sometimes people have their private reasons for placing their parents in old age home - it could be that their spouses or children do not want the old folks around, but that's rather terrible , isn't it? There are also old folks who prefer to stay at these homes, among people of their age, when they have activities and friends, maybe more fun than staying home with their children and grandchildren, who probably ignore them half the time!

Maybe he is physically and emotionally unable to take care of his mother. Maybe he works but can't afford a nurse for her. There are many reasons why a person would put the parent in a Nursing home.

As a mother it cross my mind too, when I am old, and could'nt take care of myself, would my children send me to old age home? If I am staying with children, will I be a burden to them? It isn't easy you know to take care sick, old people. It cost a lot too to hire a maid. Sometimes we have to be rationale. I think staying in old folks home is not that bad. We have friends to share our lives and professional caretaker to look after us. It just the perception of society we need to change.

somethimes it is better if a person goes there, for different reasons