What would you all do in this situation?

@Shaun72 (15959)
Palatka, Florida
July 23, 2008 10:18pm CST
I have a cousin that drinks alot and stays high all the time. She has came up to my hous at like 4 and 5am in the morning. Two days ago it was at 5:30. I mean every now and then would be alright but this is like 2 or 3 night a week. The other morning. I was asleep and got wook up. She she could have a place to sleep. She did give me money at the same time she is on crack and drinks a lot. I really worry about her. The way she parties like this all the time. She lost all 3 of her kids. Her other sister took her daughter and he mother has her two sons. At the rate she is going I feel like something bad is going to happen to her.she is 4 your older then I am. I admit I use to party when i was younger but when I got older i realized it didn't need to be all of the time. I have never partied the way she does everyday like she does. I just wish she would wake up and stop living the way she is.
9 people like this
19 responses
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
24 Jul 08
Hi Shaun, Maybe it's her way in coping up what happen in her life? or her way in escaping any problem she is facing? Have you talked to her? Maybe she needs someone to talk to when she is not drunk and she can vent out? I agree with you, she has to stop this or else she is just ruining her life! If I am close to her , I will advise her to stop and help her in diverting herself to any good stuff rather than getting drunk almost everyday~
2 people like this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
24 Jul 08
Your cousin is ruining her life. What a waste but I guess she enjoys clubbing and drinking. some people get the kick from drinking and socializing but to do it everyday is a bit too much. I think your cousin needs counseling otherwise she will ruin her health in no time. She need a hard knock to get back to normal life.
1 person likes this
@Shaun72 (15959)
• Palatka, Florida
24 Jul 08
That is what I think she has been to rehad before but she left. i think it will take a hard knock to make her realize that she needs to stop this.
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
25 Jul 08
I am sorry to hear that she does that and that she drags you into it. I think that you should tell her that she can't come to your house if she is high or drunk. I know that she is family but if you don't do that sort of stuff then you should not have to deal with it. If she lost her kids and still doesn't care to quit doing the things wrong,then I would say that she isn't in a place where she wants to stop. It is sad that her kids have suffered from this.
@Shaun72 (15959)
• Palatka, Florida
25 Jul 08
As bad as I hate to say it. All of her sisters are starting to hate her fpr the way she is living. I mean day by day drunk and high in a way I don't blame them. I do not like getting woke up at 5:30 in the morning the next time I am going to inore her. I feel really bad for all 3 of her childern. They don't like seeing there mother this way and I can't say I blame them.
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
25 Jul 08
Obviously she has an addiction problem and needs help. I would be afraid to have her come to my house like that especially since I have children. I would not allow someone to be like that around my kids. My younger sister had an addiction problem and she was living with my mom. She was stealing from everyone and I avoided going over there. Maybe you could have an intervention with your family for her. It sounds like she really needs help and soon.
@Shaun72 (15959)
• Palatka, Florida
25 Jul 08
I don't have any kids. i am single I think that is way she thinks she can come here and wake me up . At the same time i do not like to be woke up at 5:30 in the morning. She does need to get help but she is going to have to realize it. She has been to rehab 2 times but she left both times.
• United States
24 Jul 08
If you don't approve of what she's doing, then maybe you should stop taking her in on those nights. I know it sounds harsh, but she's got to learn that she can't lean on you for a place to sleep every single time she feels like it. You have your own life and family to worry about. Let her know next time she comes over that if she comes again that week or that month, she will have to find somewhere else to sleep for the night. It's okay to help her out once in a while, but not so many times in a week/month.
@Shaun72 (15959)
• Palatka, Florida
24 Jul 08
You are rght as bad as I hate to I will have to tell her I am sorry. I can't let her stay her in her condition.
• United States
24 Jul 08
It's hard to do, I know. I have a cousin who's very quickly headed that way, and I've already discussed what to do with my family about the matter. Good luck.
@bryanna4 (49)
• United States
24 Jul 08
I would not put up with that. I hope you dont have kids because children should never have to see that. It is awfull she picked her bad habits over children. As a mom I do not understand some of the things parents do.
1 person likes this
@Shaun72 (15959)
• Palatka, Florida
24 Jul 08
No I don't have kids at the same time I don't understand why she picked up these bad habits either over her childern.
1 person likes this
@howard96h (11640)
• New York, New York
24 Jul 08
It is sad to hear what she is going through but she has to be the one who to want to stop and clean herself up. I would stop taking her calls late at night and not let her in when she needs a place to stay, this is only letting her know she can always come to your place to crash and she doesn't even care that it's 4 or 5 in the morning. Have to show some "tough love". Good luck.
@Shaun72 (15959)
• Palatka, Florida
24 Jul 08
You have about the best answer. As bad as I hate to do it . It seems like the best way to show her she needs to go back to rehab and get help. Thanks a bunch friend.
@snowy22315 (169963)
• United States
25 Jul 08
She sounds completley out of control. Maybe you could approach her mother and see if you all could plan an intervention or something. I would be worried too if that was my relative. I have a couple of crazy ones, but the majority of them are pretty sane fortunately. They dont live around me anyway so are not around to go waking me up early in the morning. Thank God.
@neelygal (1022)
• Bahamas
24 Jul 08
My brother is the same way.He is always drinking and smoking.I just dont see the sense in living like this.He has already wrecked 4 cars and hes only 21.I cant see what they get out of living that way.I will have a drink socially and I have tried weed twice in my younger days.I never liked the feelings it gve me and now that I have 3 kids I try to set a good example for them.
@cbreeze (1205)
• United States
24 Jul 08
Sounds like she needs rehab. This isn't something you can fix. It's not going to happen until she wants it to happen. You need to just keep her in your prayers. Not much else you can do.
@Shaun72 (15959)
• Palatka, Florida
24 Jul 08
You are right she does need to go to rehab but she needs to see that she does. She has been there in the past but she left. I have been praying and I will contine to.
@roanne05 (1290)
• Oman
24 Jul 08
just take care of her and guide her is all i can say. it would really be up to her,i am just not sure how you can guide her. it is still up to her if she will listen or not. all you can do is to talk to her. good luck,
• Philippines
24 Jul 08
Good day.. you should seek professional help for your cousin. A counselor or a psychologist to evaluate the mental and emotional status of your cousin. I think that's the only way you can help her.
@Shaun72 (15959)
• Palatka, Florida
24 Jul 08
That might help if she would go. She has been to rehab a couple of times but she left. I am not sure how good it would do or if she would get mad at me.
@Bebs08 (10681)
• United States
24 Jul 08
I can tell that your cousin has a problem and she use that party thing to nurse herself. Imagine? even to her own kids she has no sense of responsibility of care of them? Maybe this is now the time for her to realize that things is not that easy all the time. Tell her straight so that she would come to her senses.
@Shaun72 (15959)
• Palatka, Florida
24 Jul 08
O woll try but I am scared that would start a fight or a argeument. Since all of her sisters have tried plenty of times in the past. It only started a argument.
@lixiaos77 (1030)
• Shijiazhuang, China
24 Jul 08
If she can move somewhere else, she may change her life style. There are some relatives can help her give up drinking for a time. But her friends are still around. They can draw her to addict to drinking again. Move to other place and begin a new style of life, may help her out.
• United States
24 Jul 08
As a recovering addict, I encourage you to set up an intervention for your cousin. Her habit has not only wrecked havoc on her life it is making her families lives miserable. (which is an understatement). The only way to get through to her is for your family to sit down and speak honestly to her from the heart. Addiction is a powerful bond, but it can be broken.
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
24 Jul 08
I think she is the only one who can help herself... and it should start by knowing when and how this bad habit of her's started... and why she chose it over her children... you can make her realize this... by being tough on her... do not put up with her antics... and make her help herself... well... that sounds easier that in real life... but it is worth a try...
• Philippines
24 Jul 08
talk to hjer and ask her personally if she has a problem,mybe she's looking for some care and understanding on her side but explain to her that the things she's doing is not good for her and her kids,she has a family she needs to act on this because her sons/daughter might do the same and let her realize that she needs change for her family.
@Shaun72 (15959)
• Palatka, Florida
24 Jul 08
I am not really sure what to say . She has been in rehab in the past and her sister my other cousins have tried talking to her plenty of times in the past. I think someting relly bad needs to happen to show her she is making a big mistake. This has been going on with her family for a few years now. My aun let's her stay at home but she is gone right now on vaction. The rest of her family doesn't want her to stay there when my aunt is gone.
@rytnlxm (310)
• China
24 Jul 08
My advice is when she drink next time,you can shoot the hole progress with your vidicon.At the end of the kinescope you and her kids should say something to make she know that there are so many people who care about her and all the relatives are worring about her,especially her kids.And you can help her to find some other things to spend her time and energy.Sorry for the error in my expression,I hope you can understand my meaning.Because I want to communicate with others in English more fluent, could you please help me point out the error?
@Shaun72 (15959)
• Palatka, Florida
24 Jul 08
I agree she does need her kids to tell her what she is doing. At the same time her sisters my other cousins have tried to talk and to help her. they have even taken her to rehab. Your english seems pretty good to me.
@ngaspero (851)
• Italy
24 Jul 08
Hi, is sure that your cousine is rouining her live, i don't know now how old are the children but for sure they sre soffering hile teir mother is not there, the only thing to do is to force her in a Rea, you, her mother or her sister schould talk with someone competent and force her to do it! For a long time also, at least 1 year if you will have after that a new and better woman and what more important is a better mom!!! Nun