When a friend lies...

July 28, 2008 5:06am CST
What do you do when you know a friend is lying to you? I have a friend who fabricates stories or really exaggerates, and it not only get's her into trouble but drags other people into it to. She doesn't always do it, and when she isn't doing it she's a lovely girl, but it's like she needs the drama. I have no idea how to respond to her, because if you call her on it then she denies it or covers up in some way, and the lies that she tells aren't always about big things, and when they have been, then we've had serious talks about it. One of the things I hate is when people lie and apperently it's something that she hates too so I don't understand why she feels the need to lie about the smallest things. I think the worst thing is that she thinks I don't realise that she's lying. I hate having her think she'd pulling the wool over my eyes, but some of the lies are so uninportant that I don't see the point in bringing it up. How do I deal with this without losing a mate, and without causing to much hassle in the friendship?
3 responses
@jaffna (778)
• India
28 Jul 08
my reaction would be ma anger...i don't wanna her to repeat this again ..if i let her without my wrath,she may repeat at later time taking the present one as granted...she would also get into trouble if she repeat this to some unknown people...so i would punish her with ma anger,perhaps i won't talk to her for a day...after that i can't be without talking to her...and i will try ma best to change her attitude
@slcsindia (116)
• Chennai, India
28 Jul 08
Not only telling the lies but some friends uses the people for thier selfish doings and they changes the meaning of the word Friendship into a big drama. I had a friend from the time of studying 12 th Class. Now we reached the age of 48. In between, i had 2 boys and husband is working inCentral Govt whereas she got married very late with a private job, at the time of joining my eldest son in LKG. She got twin babies within first year of marriage and used to tell her second daughter will be my future second daughter-in-law. I did not give any answer. For 15 yrs, she mis-utilised our friendship and her relation with her brother and parents and got much money. And husband also earned a lot in other ways. Then she commanded her daughter to call my sons as brother. But that little did not. Then my boys grownup, became software engineers and my eldest son went to U.S.Then u know what happened???? She phoned and asked me where is my son-in-law? That's the end. I put a full stop to her friendship. I am not giving my whereabouts to her. She tried to contact me because she knows my parents. But i made her to realise my attitude against her. It is good to keep a distance with this kind of selfish friends. Frienship should make us cheerful and relaxed but should not create mental agony. So take a decision immediately.
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
28 Jul 08
for me it would depend on how big the lie is....Keep in mind that the WORST and DUMBEST thing a person could do to me is lie at any scale..BUT the bigger the lie the more livid I'd be...I DESPISES liars and more than that being lied to....As for your situation..well in all honesty, I dont know if I could handle being friends with someone who constantly lied to me and worse yet dragged me into the drama that comes along with the lies...I have no time nor tolerance for that sort of thing....If I were you I'd call her out on it...not in a vicious way or in front of ppl but when its just the two of you maybe ask her why she does it and let her know that you KNOW when she is doing it to you then take it from there..