Today I am so sad :-(
By CharRay7
@CharRay7 (1549)
United States
July 28, 2008 6:23pm CST
Yesterday I received some sad news. My sister-in-law, who is more than a sister to me and a best friend, has been battling brain cancer for the last 8 years. When she was first diagnsed they gave her a couple years to live. The fighter that she is, has beat the odds and lived this long so far. She has been to hell and back with all the pain and suffering and all the treatments she's had to go thru.
She lives in Florida and I in Illinois and she drove up herself here to visit about a month ago. At that time she was really feeling pretty good. We had a really great time because she was here off and on for about a month. We went out to eat, sharing the most private things and just enjoyed being with each other. After about a month, she took an around the states trip to get back to Florida, visiting other relatives along the way. She said she had wanted to do this for so long and was loving it.
She has been having trouble with one of her legs for about 6 months now. The doctors have tested and gave her treatments and drugs and now it has come down to the point they may have to amputate the leg. The doctors don't even know what is wrong or the treatment for it. We also found out that they have given her about only 3 months to live. Her parents told us to get ready to travel.
Since I heard the news, I have been so depressed and sad. Yes we knew this was coming, have for some time now, but it doesn't make it any easier. I want to do something special for her but don't know what to do. With her there and me here, I'm just a mess. I talk to her on the phone and always hope it won't be for the last time. My husband (this is his sister) tells me not to be like this that we knew it was going to happen and deal with it. If and when it happens, it happens. It just makes me so mad about his attitude and IT'S HIS SISTER!!!
I'm hoping just to take it one day at a time. Today I can't get any of my work done and I have a big college assignment due Tues night and I know I have to work on it but I just can't! I gues you could say, my life is a mess.
Have you known one of your loved ones was going to die? How did you prepare for it? How did you help them get through to the end?
Char
2 people like this
4 responses
From your what you had written here,everything has been done but prayers,try it!
When all is down,try prayers!
@tina2696 (127)
• United States
29 Jul 08
I went through something similar with my grandfather. He was in remission most of my life so we had tons of fun time together. The last 2 years of his life were pretty tough, he was not the kind of man to sit still for any length of time. I did not prepare for the end, we had kind of an understanding...we both new that day would come but we never let it hang over us. Every visit and conversation we had was great, we laughed and talked about fishing most of the time. I guess my advise would be to stay calm and supportive, enjoy the time you have with her and don't worry about the end.
2 people like this
and your advice. Thank you for sharing your story too. I'm going to try to stay calm but sometimes it's not easy. I do plan to enjoy the time left we have together.
Thanks!
Char
@Polly1 (12644)
• United States
9 Aug 08
Ah Hun, I am so very sorry. My heart goes out to you and your family. I have no idea what I would do. I do know about dealing with the heartbreak of someone you love dieing. I don't know about knowing about it before hand and how to handle the wait. I have known a couple of people that I knew where going to die but I wasn't emotionally attached to them. I guess I would just be there for them like you have been. Talk to her when you can, see her when you can, tell her you love her whenever you can and pray for her. Take care.
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@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
9 Aug 08
Please don't be mad at your husband. It's his way of dealing with the news. It may not be the greatest way in the world but it's his way. Actually, I've been told numerous times that everybody grieves differently and your husband is no different. However, he is grieving but from the inside which is the worst kind. So what ever you do, be there for him whether it be in silence or not just be there for him.
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