Can Money Be Everything......Happiness...Joy.... Love .....!!!

@nupats (3564)
India
July 29, 2008 11:50am CST
my cousin sister and i got married around the same time ..i chose to marry my boyfriend who was in a decent job getting a normal salary..she chose to marry a guy who was a very rich doctor and has property and assets worth atleast 3-4 crores as of today...every night he comes home late and drunk, he goes to high class dance bars in night on weekends, he physically abuses her, throws food on her face they have two children and i feel sorry for them that they have to see such unpleasant conditions at home....my cousin is i think going in sane because of all this torture..we all want to save her from this horrible man but she does not want to leave him still ..she wishes to go on with this monsterous relationship all she says that all this property is my daughters and i will not let it go...this is so absurd..she was in love with a software engineer and dumped him for a rich guy and now again for sake of money she is ready to bear everything...is money so important? how can we help her? i think she is loosing her mental balance? she just suddenly goes blank for hours and it is indeed very scary..i feel very sorry for her ..the whole family is with her and she just does not want to move out...is this not suicidal?
4 people like this
22 responses
• Philippines
30 Jul 08
money is not everything,love is.money might be able to buy things that provide temporary comfort and convenience,eventually happiness.however,the happiness that you derive from money is fleeting.before you know it,it's gone. as for love,everything may come and go,love remains.no matter what hardships may come into your life,you're still together,hand in hand,because of love.the willingness to sacrifice for each other,the readiness to conquer any obstacle,for the sake of love-that's something that money can't buy.
2 people like this
@nupats (3564)
• India
7 Aug 08
well said dear i agree with you..thank you for writing in have a nice day
• India
30 Jul 08
From the description of this guy you provided, it really doesn't look like his property is going to last a very long t ime. He will have squandered all of it before long. And you say he is a doctor? Ugh. If such a vile person is responsible for so many other people's well-being, perhaps even of their lives, I feel pity for those people who have been committed to his mercy. This is outrageous. If you only earn a lifetime of misery from someone whom you don't love even the tiniest bit, then what love and care can you pass on to your daughters also? Maybe, they will ultimately inherit the remaining of the wealth of the so-called doctor. But they will also inherit his heartllessness and bad habits, having grown up seeing him. I don't know, it does seem true that your sister had money in her eyes when she married this man but what use is money if it can't buy you peace of mind, can't buy you happpiness? But of course, money-minded people don't ever iisten to these good sermons. I do feel sympathy for your sister and even though she is becoming, perhaps, mentallly affected, yet somehow I applaud her for her bravery that she has stood accepting all this torture silently all these years, for her daughters' sake. But this is fruitless bravery. I don't know whether this wicked doctor will bequeath anything to her daughters at the end at all. I think the situation is past pleading your sister to move out of the relationship. You must also care for your nieces and forcibly make them come over from that hell. Consult with the police to see how it can be done. After that, maybe a divorce case should be filed against him, and your sister needs to be taken to a psychiatrist. I can only pray for the best, and hope that the sun rises once more on your family, who are needless to say, going through a dark tide.. Have faith, and it will come to pass, one day..
2 people like this
@nupats (3564)
• India
7 Aug 08
hi dear very well said we havn't approached the police because she will just get angry on us as she would say it is her personal matter..i really feel bad for her but unless she wants no one can help her..the daughters are seeing some real ugly scenes at home and i pray to Go that they bear it without getting badly effected..he is very brutal and arrogant and RICH so she does fight with him and comes to our house and after day or two goes back to him....he treats her like dirt as she is also financially dependent on him and he does not let her pick some job...he is very ambitious and a very successful doctor so there is no doubt he is continuously getting richer and more arrogant..i hope his heart changes or she realizes
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
30 Jul 08
Have you stayed in the same house with your cousin and have you been witness to her physical abuse? If it is so traumatic, and she is in danger of assault how can she continue to stay with him? She is probably waiting and giving it more time.Was the doctor always this bad? [right from the day of marriage]How does he behave with his children?IS he good to them? This may also be one of the reasons for her putting up with his nonsense. I do not think that she is doing it all for the sake of money alone. May be there are some more facts that you do not know. Hs she been depressed for a long time? Check if the man was a drunkard, and badly behaved right from the beginning of their marriage. In that case I am sure she would be able to sue him and claim alimony and maintenance for the children.
1 person likes this
@nupats (3564)
• India
7 Aug 08
i and my husband did stay with them sometimes..there is a weird feeling in their house very quiet no communication and very cold ..once when i was alone (unmarried) he had beaten her in their bedroom she came out with a swollen jaw and i could not do anything he is 16 years elder to me so i cannot say anything to him he is 11 years elder to my cousin....he is indeed very good to his children and pampers them..but he beats his wife in front of them isn't that bad? i normally visit them alone as my husband is very uncomfortable going there... i feel very bad for her but unless she wants no one can help her..the daughters are seeing some real ugly scenes at home and i pray to God that they bear it without getting badly effected..he is very brutal and arrogant and RICH so she does fight with him and comes to our house and after day or two goes back to him..he treats her like dirt as she is also financially dependent on him and he does not let her pick some job...i hope his heart changes or she realises
@austere (2812)
• Philippines
30 Jul 08
money is not everything. you can go on explaining to her the kind of life she is living and how miserable it is but if she will not open her mind, then there is absolutely nothing that you can do for her. it is always up to her to stay with her husband and live in misery or start a new life with her children and build up her confidence and self esteem. in the first place, she married for a wrong reason, and i know she is not happy with her life. just explain to her and let her see how it's going to affect her and her children if she'll continue living in that house, and let's just hope and pray that someday, she'll understand, and choose to be happy. she can only decide for herself anyway. but just let her feel that you are always behind here and there for her whenever she needs your help, she will appreciate that.
@austere (2812)
• Philippines
7 Aug 08
i feel sorry about her situation too. i just hope that she'll realize what's best for her to do about the situation she is in.. and hope her husband will see her worth, respect her and love her...
@nupats (3564)
• India
7 Aug 08
hi dear i fully agree with what you say.... i feel very bad for her but unless she wants no one can help her..the daughters are seeing some real ugly scenes at home and i pray to God that they bear it without getting badly effected..he is very brutal and arrogant and RICH so she does fight with him and comes to our house and after day or two goes back to him..he treats her like dirt as she is also financially dependent on him and he does not let her pick some job...i hope his heart changes or she realises
@cupid74 (11388)
• Pakistan
30 Jul 08
To Me Money is not every thing u should have enough moneyy to support ur daily life, no luxuries. ans Should have Peace, sincerity and affiliation at home Take care
1 person likes this
@nupats (3564)
• India
7 Aug 08
hi dear very well said i fully agree with you..have a nice day
@cupid74 (11388)
• Pakistan
7 Aug 08
Thanks sweety
• Bahamas
29 Jul 08
Hi nupats! I'm sorry to hear of the situation your cousin finds herself in. Although it doesn't hurt to have money,it should not be the sole reason to stay in an unhealty relationship. Her husband sounds like a mean person regardless of how rich and sucessful he is. I'm afraid that there's not much more you and your family can do to save her, she has to want to be saved. She may think, because he provides for her, she must take what he dishes out. No matter what the basis of this relationship is, she should not stay with this man {rich or poor} if he's abusing her. All you and your family can do is support her, and be there for her when she comes out of this fog. {{{HUGS}}}
2 people like this
@nupats (3564)
• India
7 Aug 08
hi dear i really feel bad for her but unless she wants no one can help her..the daughters are seeing some real ugly scenes at home and i pray to Go that they bear it without getting badly effected..he is very brutal and arrogant and RICH so she does fight with him and comes to our house and after day or two goes back to him..he treats her like dirt as she is also financially dependent on him and he does not let her pick some job...i hope his heart changes or she realises
• Philippines
30 Jul 08
money?it cannot buy everything my dear,its the fact because of,can you buy love.no you can't because its a feeling inside which dont have price.you can't buy home but house;home is where the family living with love each other while house it's only a building,you can't buy happines but stuff things only.it's tempory happiness its not last long.i think your cousin sister need a psychiatry because she needed some advice of a doctor,he was sick.it show that she not in normal attitude.it's my belief only.It's up to you how you really define the money,happiness,joy, and love..do you agree?
@nupats (3564)
• India
7 Aug 08
hi dear i fully agree with what you say i do not think money is of the top most importance in my life.... i feel very bad for her but unless she wants no one can help her..the daughters are seeing some real ugly scenes at home and i pray to God that they bear it without getting badly effected..he is very brutal and arrogant and RICH so she does fight with him and comes to our house and after day or two goes back to him..he treats her like dirt as she is also financially dependent on him and he does not let her pick some job...i hope his heart changes or she realises
• India
30 Jul 08
according to what you have said i see that she is in confusion and is making wrong choices .... you have made the right choice and choose your lover for marriage. your cousin is not making the right choices ... i think that one must understand that money is there to enhance our happiness, but if there is no happiness there is no use of having money.
@nupats (3564)
• India
7 Aug 08
hi dear i fully agree with what you say.... i feel very bad for her but unless she wants no one can help her..the daughters are seeing some real ugly scenes at home and i pray to God that they bear it without getting badly effected..he is very brutal and arrogant and RICH so she does fight with him and comes to our house and after day or two goes back to him..he treats her like dirt as she is also financially dependent on him and he does not let her pick some job...i hope his heart changes or she realises
@ruby222 (4847)
30 Jul 08
We need money to live,but its not necessary t have pots of money,the money just helps things along.If your relation is in a violent relationship then she should seek some help,a rich man seems to thing that the money will give him power,but there are many couples living on small incomes who are very happy with what they have
@nupats (3564)
• India
7 Aug 08
hi dear i fully agree with what you say.... i feel very bad for her but unless she wants no one can help her..the daughters are seeing some real ugly scenes at home and i pray to God that they bear it without getting badly effected..he is very brutal and arrogant and RICH so she does fight with him and comes to our house and after day or two goes back to him..he treats her like dirt as she is also financially dependent on him and he does not let her pick some job...i hope his heart changes or she realises
@karjyo (830)
• India
30 Jul 08
Tell her to get a divorce. Her daughter can stay with the father. In any case (even if she takes a divorce) her children will get the property. Apart from that she can ask for maintainence. It is better to get out of a painful relationship. Peace of mind is more important than money.
1 person likes this
@nupats (3564)
• India
7 Aug 08
hi dear i fully agree with what you say.... i feel very bad for her but unless she wants no one can help her..the daughters are seeing some real ugly scenes at home and i pray to God that they bear it without getting badly effected..he is very brutal and arrogant and RICH so she does fight with him and comes to our house and after day or two goes back to him..he treats her like dirt as she is also financially dependent on him and he does not let her pick some job...i hope his heart changes or she realises
• Philippines
30 Jul 08
For me, money is not everything. Money can be gained. I'm sorry to hear about your cousin's sister traumatic relationship. I'm just wondering how much more or long does she want to suffer for the sake of money.But for the sake of sanity, I hope that she wakes up one day and decide that it is enough for her to suffer and start a new life. She needs to be strong or fight back for her children.
1 person likes this
@nupats (3564)
• India
7 Aug 08
hi dear i fully agree with what you say.... i feel very bad for her but unless she wants no one can help her..the daughters are seeing some real ugly scenes at home and i pray to God that they bear it without getting badly effected..he is very brutal and arrogant and RICH so she does fight with him and comes to our house and after day or two goes back to him..he treats her like dirt as she is also financially dependent on him and he does not let her pick some job...i hope his heart changes or she realises
@garry52 (47)
• China
30 Jul 08
i don't think money can buy every everything ,money can buy a wife ,but can not buy a lover ,money can buy a house ,but can not buy a family .however,no money ,no life.
1 person likes this
@nupats (3564)
• India
7 Aug 08
i fully agree with what you say ..thank you and have a nice day..
30 Jul 08
you have rightly answered in your statement itself that money isn't everything. if what she thinks is right let it be! she will to her senses someday. i like this quotation, "if you chase a dog toward the corner there are 100% chances that the dog will bite you, but on the other hand if you have something sweet in your hand you need not even call it will come after you". so what i suggest is that respect her decision as of now its not far for her to come back to her realization. talk about your experiences and the love you recieve from your husband, the happiness an joy you share rather than telling her to leave that guy. what i feel is that your cousin doesn't even have her self respect, because unless you love and respect yourself its even harder for people to love and respect. but as of now jus leave her alone.
1 person likes this
@nupats (3564)
• India
7 Aug 08
hi dear i fully agree with what you say.... i feel very bad for her but unless she wants no one can help her..the daughters are seeing some real ugly scenes at home and i pray to God that they bear it without getting badly effected..he is very brutal and arrogant and RICH so she does fight with him and comes to our house and after day or two goes back to him..he treats her like dirt as she is also financially dependent on him and he does not let her pick some job...i hope his heart changes or she realises
@sumiirajj (1983)
• India
30 Jul 08
Money is important in life but to what extent? is the question here.she chose to marry a rich person but now she has two children,she also has to consider her children's future.If she leaves her husband now how can she bring up her two children without any problem in todays world?Even if she leaves her husband she is going to suffer in a different way. The only way is she has to be very strong mentally and prepare herself to manage everything boldly.we can help her only by supporting her mentally.
1 person likes this
@nupats (3564)
• India
7 Aug 08
hi dear i fully agree with what you say but no point torturing herself this way her brothers are doing very well and want to support her but she is just not letting anyone help her.... i feel very bad for her but unless she wants no one can help her..the daughters are seeing some real ugly scenes at home and i pray to God that they bear it without getting badly effected..he is very brutal and arrogant and RICH so she does fight with him and comes to our house and after day or two goes back to him..he treats her like dirt as she is also financially dependent on him and he does not let her pick some job...i hope his heart changes or she realises
• Canada
30 Jul 08
Denpending on different people. some think money is everthing.however, others think money is noghing. what your family need to do right now is support her and let her know she must move out from the monsterous relationship with her husband.
• United States
7 Aug 08
Money absolutely does not mean happiness. Sometimes I feel the ones with all the money has the biggest problems sometimes. It is awfully sad when a person sacrifices their mental and emotional well-being for the sake of money. If she really loves her children and want the best, she would leave him. But on the other side of that coin, I know how it is to be in abusive relationship for I was in a verbally abusive relationship. I was afraid to leave this man because of how he was. After leaving him though, it was the best thing I could have done and I have no regrets. I will pray for your cousin. Take care and God Bless you!
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
29 Jul 08
That is so heartbreaking! Can you involuntarily commit a person to a mental health care facility there? If so, perhaps you should before he injures her badly, or worse. Nothing is worth that. Money cannot buy happiness. It can make misery more bearable but happiness can be found in the poorest of homes. I hope your cousin gets help. It sounds as if she's incapable of making a decision for herself, she is so focused on getting the best for her children and ignoring the danger she herself is in.
1 person likes this
@nupats (3564)
• India
7 Aug 08
no dear that cannot be done..i am sure she will bounce back if she leaves him but she does not want to...and we cannot help her till she wants us to..i just pray to god that all gets well between them..thank you dear have a nice day
@Arsench (65)
• Spain
29 Jul 08
money only can help us be happy ,but never can be happiness.we can buy with money every thing, but not friendship or love.
1 person likes this
@nupats (3564)
• India
7 Aug 08
well said dear i fully agree with you..have a nice day
• Philippines
30 Jul 08
i think she doesn't know where to go or where to start after she leaves her husband... her kids are probably used to the "rich life" so... she doesn't want to take that away from her kids and maybe she may not be able to give it to them if she leaves her husband... she is really scared and confused... it's a good thing that you are all there for her... that you love her... she needs to realize it... there are women's group out there who helps women who are abused try going to one... i know they can and they will...
@nupats (3564)
• India
7 Aug 08
hi dear i fully agree with what you say maybe extra counseling might help her.... i feel very bad for her but unless she wants no one can help her..the daughters are seeing some real ugly scenes at home and i pray to God that they bear it without getting badly effected..he is very brutal and arrogant and RICH so she does fight with him and comes to our house and after day or two goes back to him..he treats her like dirt as she is also financially dependent on him and he does not let her pick some job...i hope his heart changes or she realises
@ishralene09 (2260)
• Philippines
29 Jul 08
It is so hard for people to change how another thinks. But that is torture. Man that is so sad to hear. I'm sorry. Well, the easiest thing to do is to let the man have an accident, therefore all of the properties are going to be hers. Seriously though, you have to convince her to stop it already. I'm afraid that sooner the daughters will suffer too, from abuse and trauma. I hope that the man have a sudden change of heart, because it's really hard to stomach what is going on between them. Again, I'm really sorry for your cousin's sister.
1 person likes this
@nupats (3564)
• India
7 Aug 08
hi dear i really feel bad for her but unless she wants no one can help her..the daughters are seeing some real ugly scenes at home and i pray to Go that they bear it without getting badly effected..he is very brutal and arrogant and RICH so she does fight with him and comes to our house and after day or two goes back to him..he treats her like dirt as she is also financially dependent on him and he does not let her pick some job...i hope his heart changes or she realises